18 May, 2014

Music in the House

By |2014-05-18T10:31:19-04:00May 18th, 2014|Music|2 Comments

I had a few experiences this past weekend at bars that play music and have some thoughts about what is played.  There was also a jukebox at one of the bars which is a good way to test out how an audience of unknowns reacts to music.

 

Sing-A-Longs

42-25434331_685Songs that everyone knows are considered sing-a-long songs.  Say It Ain’t So by Weezer is a prime example.  There are a couple of facets for a song to reach sing-a-long status.  #1 is that people need to know the words.  Not every word but the primary chorus is a must.  It takes time for people to learn songs like this so these types fall in the older music category beginning with early 00’s and everything before.  This is prime white people music and activity.  I was at Time on Friday night and Green Day’s Welcome to Paradise came on and the black dude next to me was like, “what the fuck is this?”  I also think it’s funny if a hip hop song is played and there’s a word that sounds like Pooh’s friend, do you sing it?

 

EDM

db1I have grown to like EDM.  I don’t do the drugs that generally make this scene better but even still, the science behind creating this music is fascinating to me.  The control of the beats per minute and how the crowd reacts is awesome.  I also find that this is great drunk music, as in, the drunker I get the more I like it.  Unfortunately it helps if you have some “rage” dance moves but even with a simple head bob or fist pound, you can fit in.  Another anecdote from the weekend, Weens was hammered at Morgan’s Pier and fits into th EDM scene and in my mind kills it on the dance floor.  Overbearing perhaps but you could tell it wasn’t his first time in this atmosphere.

 

Pop

taylor-swift-dancing-3-newMy least favorite music category.  Smith’s on Friday night was a relevant example to playing a lot of pop.  If Timber comes on, you are in a pop bar.  Girls love this music because it’s what they are listening to currently but I find the music difficult on the ears and even harder to dance to.  This kind of music is cringe worthy and I usually run to the bar.  I also have a dislike for early 2000’s pop like the Backstreet Boys.  Personal opinion, I feel like a homo singing a long to anything by the Backside Boys.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

 

Hip Hop

phaset-bl17-resize-LST079864I don’t go to too many places that solely play Hip Hop but I’m out of the game of what’s popular in this community.  Back when it was Snoop, Dre, Tupac, and Biggie, I knew some music.  Since 2000, I couldn’t name a song.  Even when the songs from the aforementioned artist come on, I can’t really get into it.  For me it isn’t bar music.

 

Classic Rock

don_t_stop_believing-1You won’t hear much Classic Rock in a bar unless it is a white person, sitting down bar.  Bars that have this setting sometimes have a jukebox and that’s when people will play older songs that they like.  I’ll give a quick suggestion, don’t play Don’t Stop Believing by Journey.  Overplayed classic rocks songs aren’t just overplayed at this point, they are played out.  A personal bar favorite that I played on Friday was One Bourbon, One Scotch, and One Beer because it’s 8 minutes long and a fine drinking song.  That’s the key, if it makes you want to drink, it should be played.

 

15 May, 2014

The Blogging Life

By |2014-05-15T20:56:57-04:00May 15th, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

finding-happy-wednesday-3It’s odd how some days I’m able to come up with posts out my ass.  I’ll be walking around and 3 ideas pop into my head.  Other days I sit like a tard like I’m doing right now.  Maybe I’ll make a post full of gifs or pictures just to come up with something.  It’s like my brain is working but it only processes information at half speed and cannot come up with anything original.  My first sentence makes it seem like like I don’t know why but it’s 100% alcohol affecting my body.

The last two Wednesday’s have been pretty wild for me.  Not sure why I’m picking Wednesday but it seems as good a day as any.  I’m not producing great stories from these days but they are still fun.  Unfortunately nights like these bring the blog down.  This is the only post I can muster up.

skateboard

 

15 May, 2014

What’s Up?

By |2014-05-15T09:30:20-04:00May 15th, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

[dropcap background=”yes” color=”#333333″]25 years and my life is still.  Trying to get up that great big hill of hope.  For a destination.  [/dropcap]

 

4nonbThis quote is fairly similar to me except mine is 30 years and I’m not on a hill but a road to nowhere which is a great Talking Heads song.

I drank too much last night.  I tried to type too and hit the I key 3 times in a row.  I apologize for those who actually visit the blog.  I do try to put intelligent thoughts into this website on the regular but it isn’t happening.  Stay tuned.  More material shortly.

13 May, 2014

5 Best Selling NFL Rookie Jerseys

By |2014-05-13T19:24:16-04:00May 13th, 2014|Sports|0 Comments

Top 5 Best Selling NFL Rookie Jerseys

5. Blake Bortles, Jacksonville Jaguars

dukejerseyThird pick of the draft and heading to the lowly Jaguars.  There is really only one reason people care about him though and that’s his super hot girlfriend.  She is so flippin’ hot that I’d buy Bortles Jersey and have Duke on the back of it.  I also give her an incredible amount of credit for finding the guy who went #3 in the draft way before he went 3.  She could have selected from thousands of douchebags and she just happened to land the highest QB in the draft.  Bravo.  NSFW selfie found here.

4. Teddy Bridgewater, Minnesota Vikings

Teddy_Bridgewater_poses_for_fan_dayTeddy is a big, strong guy, 6-3, 196 lbs, and will have one of the easiest jobs in football…hand the ball to AP.  I personally like the pick because Christian Ponder has proven he can’t throw the ball downfield.  Teddy will hopefully jive with the young Cordarrelle Patterson and the Vikings can maybe get back to the Playoffs that they made in 2012.

3. Jadeveon Clowney, Houston Texans

Jadeveon ClowneySucks being the #1 pick and being over shadowed by personalities and hot topics.  Either way, it takes a special DE to win over the public and that doesn’t happen with a recently drafted player.  Plus there are tons of reports of him not playing hard all the time.   If Clowney isn’t a bust, the Texans D will be scary with Watt alongside.  Without ever seeing Clowney play, I’d guess he’s not going to live up to expectations.

2. Michael Sam, St. Louis Rams

michael-sam-kissI watched the 7th round, 249th pick, Michael Sam press conference today and was disturbed.  The press is so fucking stupid and the questions they asked should be not be allowed.  They’ll ask questions like, “tell us a story of a time you overcame adversity” and “how did you get to be so strong and brave?’  On 85% of the questions, Michael Sam was like “what do you want me to say to your question, this is stupid”.  He was agitated through the entire press conference and I can see why.  I feel bad for the guy because he constantly has to be reminded that what he is doing is unprecedented.  If we were a more intelligent society, we wouldn’t need a Michael Sam press conference.  Let the dude play football, he might not even make the squad.

1. Johnny Manziel, Cleveland Browns

Johnny Football.  What more is there to write?

johnnyfootballmoney

13 May, 2014

A Space Oddity

By |2014-05-13T12:24:10-04:00May 13th, 2014|Music|0 Comments

spaceoddityI’ve had 2 Spotify coincidences that are unbelievable.  I couldn’t make this stuff up.  Evan sends Jeff and I an email titled, “This is Major Wevs to Stortz Control”.  This is the body.

“Pretty cool vid – last day available.  Apparently Bowie to Bowie only gave him rights for 1 year or something like that.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaOC9danxNo”

 

The Oddity

So I click on the link in the email and start watching a video by Chris Hadfield singing Space Oddity. He’s an actual astronaut who went to space.  All is normal until I hear a repeat of Space Oddity playing through my speakers.  What the fuck is that repeat?  I thought Jeff must have clicked on Evan’s link and I was hearing an echo but I verified that the sound was coming through my speaker.  Much to my amazement, my The Best Of Pink Floyd: A Fool in the Door radio station (best station I’ve ever had on Spotify by the way) started playing Space Oddity.   What.  The.  Fuck.  You are telling me that Spotify started playing the same exact song that I was listening to through a randomly timed link sent by my friend.  The odds to this are astronomical.

The 2nd occurrence came when I heard the song Stolen Dance by Milky Chance on AltNation.  It wasn’t available on Spotify at the time so I listened to the song on YouTube for a while.  The song had 30million views and had been out for over a year.  Well what do you think happened?  Spotify added Stolen Dance to its database.  This is incredible that after a year of not adding the song, they add it 2 days after I notice it isn’t on there.  I should also add that Milky Chance is quite a duo from Germany and worth listening to all of the 4 songs on Spotify. For the lazy and those who don’t have Spotify. Absolutely worth a listen.

 

13 May, 2014

My Favorite Website is Red…Google

By |2014-05-13T00:01:59-04:00May 13th, 2014|My Brain|0 Comments

lens1594783_1288563617Web_Design_Tips_for_BeginWhat I Look for in a Website

Consistency – A site has to be updated regularly if it expects people to visit daily.  Obviously delivering fresh, well written, thought provoking content is important as well.

Few Ads – I’m not an ad snob and I understand that sites have to make money but blatant trickery to get people to click on ads is the most annoying thing a site can do.  It’s not the end all but I  prefer a site that doesn’t care if I sample their work without throwing ads in my face.

Simple Navigation – When I click on a link or button, I shouldn’t be confused where I’m being led.  The less links to get somewhere, the better.  ESPN comes to my mind as I site I’m always getting lost in.

Fuck Slideshows – I refuse to sit through slideshows.  Why sites don’t understand that scrolling down to view more pictures is advantageous to clicking through a fucking slideshow, I won’t understand.  Waiting and clicking through a slideshow is worse than Donald Sterling giving a speech at Howard University.

 

My Favorite Websites

barstool6. Barstool Sports – I’ve been extremely disappointed by Barstool lately.  This site will be dropping off my list because it’s being diluted with too much useless information.  The bloggers have developed personalities that are bigger than Smitty’s head and the site has overloaded everything that has made it popular.  They have 6 daily local smokeshows.  6?  6 smokeshows!  There are 7 cities reporting now and that leads to more re-posts and a general overflow of nonsense.  I still visit this site but not as much when I truly cared about the Philly section.

facebook-evolution-6405. Facebook – For bashing Facebook as much as I do it’s hard to believe I still check it daily.  I honestly can’t even explain why other than shamelessly self promoting my blog.  I think it’s because it allows me to stay in contact with people who would absolutely vanish from my life otherwise.  I think the real question is why should I care if I girl I went to college with, and who I will never see again, is having a baby?  This information holds a 0.0 on my importance scale.  Facebook is flooded with this but for some reason I still visit.  Probably because I have to compare other people to myself and ultimately decide who is interesting and who is not.

twitter-evolve4. Twitter – My fondness for Twitter is fading slowly.  The inability to get followers is tiresome.  I try tweeting, I try tagging, I try re-tweeting, and I still get nothing.  I think it’s an incredibly powerful platform that people are not utilizing because they are too stupid to understand how to use it.  Not to mention that Tweets have become a credible source of information.  For celebrities, there is no faster way of reaching millions of people instantly.  Twitter is actually something I use on my phone more than my desktop.  It’s the ultimate boredom quencher for a few minutes.

wikipedia13. Wikipedia – I trust Wikipedia for information.  It’s the first source I check for anything in regards to history, music, movies, sports, and other relevant information.  Google obviously considers it a wonderful source as it constantly comes up high in the rankings.  I’m not sure how trusted every single page is with its accuracy but it’s good enough for me.  I don’t know of many sites who are respected in so many areas as Wikipedia is.

606px-Human_evolution_scheme2.  Google – Name one reason Google shouldn’t be #1?  You can’t.  The ability to provide credible websites in a matter of seconds for any search that comes to my brain is the 2nd best invention of this century.  The algorithm to sort by relevance is something that some genius started and it is constantly being tweaked and improved.  If I’m curious about Kate Upton’s boobs, I can pop it into Google and come up with something.  Google in the hub for finding information that is created on the amazing internet (#1 invention).  It is by far my most visited website but more enjoyment is found from my #1.

reddit-logo1. Reddit – This has become my favorite website.  As I first started using Reddit, I would sift through the posts and mindlessly click on things I found interesting.  This brought about an average experience as I thought the memes weren’t that great and some of the culture was geeky.  As I learned how to navigate through the posts a little better and learned about the sub-reddits, I was opened to a fabulous world of creative, witty, smart posts and pictures that draw minds way brighter than mine.

For instance, the sub-reddit of Philadelphia is a better source of info than philly.com.  A greater variety of articles are posted than a single website and then people who live in the areas actually comment on them.  I even opened up an account for Reddit and got sucked into upvoting and even sharing a link or two.  If a post I write gets notoriety on Reddit, the possibilities are endless.  The comments on the posts are also filled with humor.  Reading the top comment of posts you like is a must because they always deliver.  I think another huge factor is their news is usually the first to hit the internet.  I see reposts on others sites of things posted on Reddit hours before.  Reddit has become my favorite website.

 

Honorable Mention

Yahoo – It’s late to the punch in just about every instance but I still will check their finance section and their fantasy sports are hands down my favorite.

Grantland – The articles can get too lengthy sometimes but they write about a lot of content I like.

Bansheemann7 & Gourlay’s Goodies – How could I not mention websites that I visit daily?  This 3 person triumvirate will start delivering content that more than 3 people will read in due time.

12 May, 2014

Rad 80’s Games

By |2014-05-12T17:28:20-04:00May 12th, 2014|Childhood|2 Comments

Rad 80’s Games

80s-kid-pic-615x300If you grew up as a child in the 80’s, you’d remember picking up the landline, dialing 7 numbers, and asking if your friend could “come over to play.” Times were different back then.  Video games were just getting started and mobile devices were decades away.  Passing time had to be done using something other than a computer.  Here are some of the games that were played.

 

TAG

0 chance of catching this kid.

0 chance of catching this kid.

Tag, TV Tag, and Freeze Tag were staples.  Tag was actually quite dumb because the faster kids would never get caught.   TV tag was when you could name a TV show and that would get you immunity from getting caught for some period of time.  Freeze Tag was when you got tagged you were frozen and other kids would have to unfreeze you.  These games developed into Capture the Flat and Manhunt as you got older.

 

Bike Riding

PeeWee Bike Riding Gif

I know you are but what am I?

Riding bikes around every inch of your neighborhood also seemed commonplace.  I pretty much knew every single street within a 10 block radius.  I’d never leave the side streets and once you got close to a busy road you’d just turn around or find a back route.  Riding to the pharmacy, which was probably about a mile away, seemed like a Pee Wee’s big adventure.

 

Skip It

skip itWho remembers Skip-it?.  The counter on this toy sucked but for some reason it fascinated me.  It went to 999 and reset but it’s accuracy was definitely questionable.  Over time, the ball would always slam against the concrete so eventually it would get beat up.  Either way I enjoyed playing with this simple, stupid device.  The song from the commercial below would 100% get stuck in your head so major props to that ad agency.  I also had a crush on the girl at 23 seconds.

 

Pencil Fights

pencilfightPencil fights were when I was in Elementary School which places them in the late 80’s – Early 90’s.   This game eventually would get banned by the school.  I imagine myself as the Principal of the school and hearing, “kids are taking #2 Ticondaroga’s and slamming them against each other and trying to see which would break first.”  Wat?  Mark Gomberg actively sought out a piece of wood that he carved into a pencil and was virtually unbreakable.  The key was in the torque of the pencil.   More pencils would break from bending them back than actually hitting the other pencil.

 

GI Joe – “Got to get tough, Yo Joe”

I came across this picture on Reddit and it brought me back. GI Joe was one of my favorite cartoons growing up. The animated series aired in the mid to late 80’s so I was quite the young lad watching the show.  These action figures were my livelihood when I was young.

gijoes

I used to own what seemed like hundreds of these action figures but it was probably closer to 100. Everyone’s legs and bodies were attached by this elastic string that would sometimes break and then your guys would be dismembered as seen in the front. It’s funny because I look at these characters and recognize a few but it was so long ago that I pretty much forget everything.  My mom sold all of them at a garage sale which destroyed some childhood nostalgia for a few measly dollars.

GI Joe Command CenterI owned what I think was this Command Center but there were a few others when I searched for it. This was a pretty sick toy at the time and hours were spent defending this base.  The guns would fire a missile which was obviously awesome.  Any projectile at the time was immediately placed as the best toy.

Let’s not forget the GI Joe PSA’s

 

Crossbows and Catapults

Crossbows and Catapults was a popular game

Crossbows and Catapults was a popular game

If you were a kid in this era there was this sweet mid-evil game called Crossbows and Catapults.  It may have been 90’s, I get lost when I go back this far.  The objective of the game was to knock down your opponents castle.  As you can see from the pic, blocks make up the castle and those discs are your weapons.  You use the brown weapons (crossbow and catapult) to fire the discs across the room at your opponent’s castle.  I can’t remember what the guys did but I don’t suspect much.   The catapult was the most fun to use but the crossbow was deadly.  The last castle standing won.

10 May, 2014

Story: My First Underage

By |2014-05-10T09:11:26-04:00May 10th, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

I thought Sam’s Shayna story was funny and it’s usually not a bad idea to replicate success.  I was a bit disappointed though in Great Cricket Escape which was not worth reading because crickets do not instill much fear .  A story about a bigger, badder, meaner black girl beating up a smaller, weaker, wussier, white suburban boy is much more interesting.  I rattled my brain for a story worth telling and until I get into my alcohol years, I have few.  This story sets the tone for the rest of my life.

 

2001 – University of Pittsburgh

I was incredibly green coming into college.  I was 17 with virtually no high school drinking experience.  My first night ever of drinking I probably had 5 beers, puked in the corner of a CMU frat house on the dance floor, and made out with this not very attractive girl after puking which didn’t dawn on me at the time wasn’t appropriate.  That was the very first time I seriously tried to get drunk but this story takes place about 3 weeks later.

Beer_Bong_5I was at a house party in an area of Oakland that seemed miles away from campus but was actually about a 10 minute walk on Dithridge.  I was there with Ed and Lauren and someone at the party had brought out a beer bong.  I’d never seen a beer bong before and after 3 weeks of drinking experience, I was ready to give it a go.  I probably bonged 3 beers and was amazed at how easy it was.  At this point I had a great buzz going and went downstairs to hang out in another area of the party not knowing what was coming.

Within a few minutes, the cops show up at the party and tell everyone in the basement to leave the party.  Without knowing proper protocol for a party being busted, I staggered up the stairs with a beer in my hand right in front of the officers.  They took this as a sign of disrespect and pushed me up against the wall.   I was being cited for an underage and the cop asking me “how stupid can you be?”  This wouldn’t be the first police officer asking me this question in my life.

100412campus1I went through the process of them taking my information (which at that time I didn’t even know) and they sent me to wander home.  I got back to the Towers and immediately went to the bathroom to puke.  While I was hugging the toilet this random bro looked over the stall and told me that if I put my fingers down my throat, it’ll work better.  I proceeded to vomit everything out and shamelessly went to bed thinking that this was a monumental disaster.

arrested-developmen-george-michael-sad-walkI woke up early on a Sunday morning to try to take care of this underage before anyone found out.  I hopped on a bus to go downtown to the courthouse to clear this mess up.  Remember, this is 2001 and I’m in a city that I’ve never been to before while still drunk and trying to figure out how the buses work.   After an incredible journey to get to the court house, they were closed.  Any idiot would’ve known this.

I got back to campus and was fretting over this citation.  I ended up talking to my cousin who was a cop and pleaded “not guilty”.  What ended up happening was that I had to take an alcohol education class and attend 5 AA meetings.  I’m 17 years old, have drank 3 times in my life, and am attending AA.  Those were some hilarious meetings.

I wish that something more interesting had happened for this story but real life sometimes doesn’t deliver as much as a fabrication.  Either way, this started my run ins with the law.  I was going to dedicate an entire post to them but the post would be 10,000 words.  The other problem is that I usually can’t remember all the details.  I have a good dozen or so that come to mind.  This next one is not a full story so I figured I’d include it.

 

Manayunk Post Office Caper

110909011159-rubio-postal-trucks-story-topI used to get pretty wild in Manayunk and my walk homes from the bar would get epic.  One night I climbed the fence of the Manayunk Post Office and the cops saw me inside this fenced in area with all the Postal Trucks surrounding me.  I didn’t know what my intention was other than I wanted to see if I could climb the fence.  The cops were pretty pissed off and ordered me to climb back over the fence because they didn’t want to do it in their gear.  The fence was what I remember to be 10 ft high but who actually knows.  I was lit up at the time and knew that if I climbed back over the fence they would give me a citation.  We ended up having a stand off for a few minutes negotiating terms and then I climbed over.  I remember climbing over the top screaming, “I’m going to tear my sac.”  They actually did let me go or I ran away, I can’t recall.

 

8 May, 2014

Almost Foul Ball To the Dome

By |2016-11-01T23:17:02-04:00May 8th, 2014|Sports|0 Comments

Looks great in Gif format.

Best Comments

that guy in the pinks t-rex reflex

And the jedi behind him in the green t-shirt with the force pull that ultimately saved the victim.

 

cropped_Fanalmosthit

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