This tends to be the slogan that is following me through my life. I tend to be pretty good at things, but just can’t take the next step. I get 90% of the way there and then fail. It’s not necessarily failing as much as it’s not succeeding. It’s almost a sense of quitting when the going gets too tough. I was gifted with superior physical abilities and I make practically nothing out of them. This isn’t bragging, this is fact and waste. Here are some examples.

  • When I went to Dick’s to buy golf clubs I tried out the drivers in the testing area. The pro that was working there said the tour average club speed was 120mph. My top drive’s head speed came through at 121 and he’s rarely had a guy have the machine read 300 yards. He said I have the potential to be a very good golfer. He also said I have bad posture, a terrible grip, a bad stance and looked like I wasn’t trying to hit the ball with a degree of seriousness. With much practice he said I could get down to a single digit handicap and possible take it further. So what’s the chance of me practicing hours on end to become a better golfer? 0. I may the have the abilities, but lack the drive (not a pun). I see no future in golf.

  • Why did I give up running in High School? There was nothing at the end of the road. I wasn’t even the best in high school, what was the point? Yes, I was better than 99% of the kids in high school in the events I did but it would never amount to anything. I was good, but I was just wasting time. I can stay in shape like I do now and feel just as good. If I do the Broad Street Run and break 60 minutes and get 100th place, who cares? If I dog it and get 65 minutes, no one thinks any less of me. I guess there is an argument for being the best possible human you can be (I’ll get to this) but the rewards are none except the recognition from peers who, and I assure you, care more about their own life than yours.

  • Let’s look at the stock market for a second. A few weeks ago I told CK4 that you can buy the volatility index at 21, mark my words. It’s trading upward of 45 now and I essentially missed everything selling it at 24 and 28. I also saw LinkedIn at 110 and told JC that I think buying the November 70 puts is a great idea. The stock is trading at 75 now and the puts would have increased 300%. How much money did I make from the market in this stretch. NOTHING. I got nothing because even though my ideas are good, I can’t execute. I’m pretty smart with the ideas but I can’t profit a penny. Yes, I’m picking two extreme instances but I just can’t win.

    Is this defeated attitude appropriate? Of course not but it’s the truth. There are things that I do well but it’s not good enough to really make it. What is really making it? Hell, if I could win one PGA tour event I’d be set for life. One lucky play in the market that nets me a million dollars and I’m happy. Is it all about money that I’m striving for? Absolutely. I don’t want to have to worry about money. I want to live my life any way I please. I don’t need extravagance. I just want to do whatever I want. I don’t want to work 40 hours a week. This is why I’m whining. I’m just a regular 9 to 5er. The you can be anything you want to be is bullshit. I don’t want to sound arrogant (people obviously will think this) but I finish in the top 1% of races, top 1% in driving distance and I can’t hack it. Everyone is good at their own thing and you may be the top 1% of what you do well and I hope you are doing better than me. I am spinning my wheels.