We Don't Walk Slow

Art Museum Step Challenge

This is an open challenge against me to anyone who wants to give it a try.

Location:
Art Museum Steps

Objective:
Start at the 1st logical line back (there is the actual first line but it’s too close to the first step to make it possible). This line acts as the start line and the suicide line. The challenge is 3 times up and down the steps touching the start line and the top step with each suicide. The end of the steps is the top flight of steps without heading into the open area at the top.

Time to Beat: 1:45:16

I’m confident in this time because technique is extremely important in this challenge and I think I’ve nailed it.

By Tom Stortz|2015-06-01T16:27:26-04:00July 25th, 2014|Running|1 Comment

Frank Caliendo’s Rapid Fire of Impressions

A solid A here on impressions. I’m not a huge Caliendo fan during the NFL broadcasts but this is fabulous work.

By Tom Stortz|2014-07-25T09:03:56-04:00July 25th, 2014|Sports|0 Comments

Who Will Win the World Cup?

I think this picture in a German newspaper says it all.

I know nothing about soccer but will probably watch the game and think Germany will win. I would be biased to a nation that I have some heritage from but Germany looks like the best team considering how the Dutch stalemated the Argentinians. They are pretty heavy favorites going off at -180 to win the game. I still don’t know if that line includes shootouts or not. I don’t think it does because a draw is a shootout unless the draw ends in regulation. The confusion of the betting and knowing whether you win or not is a turn off to these types of bets.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:00:54-04:00July 13th, 2014|Sports|0 Comments

Tex Mex 5k in Hot Hot Heat

Last night I did the Tex Mex 5k. The race was held in Lansdale and it was 80+ degrees and humid. It’s a fairly sizable 5k getting 1,500 people to run.

I parked my car about a 5 minute walk away in a large parking lot which was nice. I stashed my keys under my tire and a woman of 50 years saw me do it. I thought that if she was going to steal my car, more power to her. I ran over to the starting area and got my bib while also getting a bracelet which entitled me to a free beer after the race. I ran back to the car and dropped off my t-shirt and ID and headed to meet up with CK4 and Nikkii. We met at near the starting line and Nathan was there too helping out with the race.

There weren’t many people in the front of the race so I was able to get a spot easily. There seemed to be a few decent runners but I wasn’t sure what to expect. The race went off exactly at 7pm and I was running with the 2nd pack of about 10 people. A few girls were with me and I figured that wouldn’t last.

We came through the first mile at 5:30 or so and I was feeling pretty good. A half mile uphill followed and then some downhill. The 2 mile time was messed up but I hadn’t felt like I slowed down much. After another longish uphill, someone in the crowd said it was all downhill from here. I wasn’t sure if that was true or not (turns out it was) and I started picking up some distance on the guys in front of me. A turn at the end led to the finish line and I had a mediocre kick. I finished at 17:28 which was good for 9th place. I was pretty pleased.

Nikkii broke 27 minutes which was good on a hot day, Lisa was 29:30, and CK4 managed a 32:45 performance which is a head shaker. We met up afterwards and ate the chicken/salsa mix, chips, and a delicious cookie. The beer by Prism was also quite good. They served it properly by having all the cups laid out and there was no line. We all ate the food together and lounged around the Tex Mex outside area where a band was playing.

I enjoyed the race and would do it again next year. The cost was 42 bucks which is on the high side but there were a lot of extras involved. All in all, money well spent.

By Tom Stortz|2015-05-04T14:48:48-04:00June 26th, 2014|Running|6 Comments

The Deflating Goal That Prevented a Riot

Baby, You’re a Rich Man was blasting through my internal speakers before this travesty happened. With the US leading 2-1, the bar was super charged and the US only had to get through penalty time. The table was prematurely celebrating which felt like the right thing to do at the time. Sam, Hurricane, and myself all had some money on the game with Sam and I getting 3 to 1 on our action and Hurricane getting 8-1. Dollar signs were blinding our vision obviously. Super good looking Ronaldo crosses to an African guy from Europe and souls were crushed.

The plan was to storm out of the bar and start rioting with the amped up crowd at Fado. As such, we went home dejected and not even Rita’s could lift the spirits. At the start of the game if you would say that we would have tied Portugal, everyone would have taken it. In actuality, this was the USA’s game to win.

Overall the environment was charged up and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a good time. For a Sunday Evening, it was definitely different. After the game I went home and slept from 9pm until 7:30 because I was beat from the weekend. Playing 4 or 5 games of basketball while hungover was near death. My body is achy today and I just want it to be Friday again.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-01T23:19:50-04:00June 23rd, 2014|Sports|2 Comments

Defend Soccer’s Red Card. You Can’t.

This World Cup week is the most soccer I’ve watched over my entire life. I’m hardly an expert but I have a major gripe…red cards. Red cards are too powerful and they are given out like candy at Halloween. In hockey, when you commit a penalty, you spend up to 5 minutes in the penalty box and your team is at a man disadvantage for that period of time. Major penalty’s can last 1/12 of the entire game and this is a MAJOR penalty. Red cards leave your team an entire man down for the duration of the game. If you get a red card in the first minute of the game your team plays a man down for 99% of the game. There isn’t even a rule where the other team scores and you get your man back. Oh wait, and he can’t even play in the team’s next game!

A rule is a rule, I understand that, but refs are throwing out these red cards on fouls that aren’t even fouls! Watch these two clips from 2 games over the past 2 days. Remember, there have only been 6 games and this happened in two of them!

Now naturally I wouldn’t have that much of a stance on this other than it’s ridiculous but this is costing me money. When you bet on a game and this absurdity happens and your team is down a man for the rest of the game, you know you are fucked. This feeling in me when I see 10 v 11 is how I know this red card shit is what makes me hate soccer. Aside from the constant flopping to draw fouls, the refs hand out cards for virtually nothing. I would be fine if a red card was given for tackling someone who is on a breakaway scoring opportunity. Or a headbutt when someone wasn’t looking. Song’s elbow was red card worthy except HE FAILED TO EVEN MAKE CONTACT! Sure he was trying to be a dick but he didn’t even do it properly. Yellow card him but don’t ruin the game over it.

I know there are die hard soccer fans out there and I hope they read this post because if you want an opinion on why soccer isn’t nearly as good as you think it is, there’s one.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-29T13:10:35-04:00June 20th, 2014|Sports|5 Comments

Subway Rides Above

The list of world class athletes Subway hires is telling. They moved away from common man Jared losing weight by eating Subway, to being endorsed by the best of the best. Here’s a list of people who have done Subway ads: Michael Phelps, Pele, Megatron, RG3, Ryan Howard, Apollo Ohno, Nastia Lukin, Russell Westbrook, and Blake Griffin.

Why spend so much money to get these people to promote? The answer is simple, if Subway is good enough for these people, Subway is good enough for you. It doesn’t matter if they actually eat Subway or not, your brain is conditioned to associate Subway with Michael Phelps. Phelps is the greatest Olympian of all time. This association is powerful.

Do you know what the biggest restaurant chain is? Subway. There are 41,000+ stores over 106 countries. Do you think their advertising campaign might have something to do with it?

I like to take advertising one step further though because any of these athletes can just say they eat Subway. I agree that using people who are “the best” at their sport is a great way to get points across. What they should actually endorse though is products they use. Michael Phelps should be spokesmen for whatever goggles, bathing suits, and training equipment he uses. When I purchase items for a sport and I know that these are worn by an Olympic athlete when he competes, I’m sold that they are good enough for me.

I like watching golf and seeing what golf balls the pros are using. Duff daddy hits Pro V’s and I’ll continue playing Pro V’s because of this validation. Do you see Top-Flights being played by anybody? Would you think differently about the brand if pro’s played Top Flights?

The aforementioned point about golf balls is the most effective advertising the way I see it. If I can see a pro using equipment, I will buy it. Now when I watch an athlete eat a sandwich it doesn’t pull me as much but I can see how it may affect others. This is a lesson in advertising and how effective using well known celebrities is. It’s why celebrities are celebrities. They can have a major effect on the population. You think the producers of this dress paid Kendall Jenner to wear it?

Kendall Jenner with a dual split that is causing boners everywhere.

By Tom Stortz|2014-06-17T08:27:15-04:00June 17th, 2014|Celeb, Sports|0 Comments

I am a Real American

Aside from a few drunk Saturday mornings, I don’t watch soccer. I find the game slow and the acting for penalties difficult to stomach. However, I felt the urgency to watch a game that the USA only plays every 4 years…because it’s a game to bet on. I’ve been riding some Bovada money and have a a few shekels to throw around. So I think to myself, USA or Ghana in a pick em?

On Friday night I took a cab home at 1:30 and had a cab driver who was from Ghana. I knew that Ghana knocked the US out of the last world cup and that they had the US’s number in past games. The cab driver and I discussed the match and he wasn’t overly confident that Ghana would take down the US. Today I decided to make a wager. I knew I was planning on watching the game with a crowd and also know that it is in bad taste to bet against the USA. So I did what an American does, I bet on US.

If you watched the game, you know this proved amazing. An early goal brought elation to be followed 80 minutes later by a goal from Ghana. Knowing how hard it is to score goals, especially with 9 minutes left, I was chalking it up as a loss. Pony tail man’s corner was perfectly placed and John Brooks, Jr. headed it in a few minutes later. USA didn’t deserve to win that game but they pulled it out.

When I asked Gourlay where the smart money was he told me to lay off it. His heart said USA and brain said Ghana. This proved to be exactly right as Ghana “won” the game, but the US scored more goals. I will say though, and I’ve done this in the past but have learned my lesson, betting against the home team is a scummy move. There will always be another game. USA! USA! USA! Ok I’m off the bandwagon until next game.

By Tom Stortz|2014-06-16T22:32:56-04:00June 16th, 2014|Sports|1 Comment

The Day I Almost Killed a Man

It was today, but I digress.

I’ve been playing golf for over 15 years and have never been struck by a ball. It seems like getting hit would happen more often but for some reason it’s a rarity. My closest encounter was almost beheading myself when I attempted a punch shot through two trees 5 feet in front of me. My shot rifled against the tree and ricocheted right back at me and missed my head by 6 inches. Today was 1 inch.

I hit a nice drive up the fairway and had a long 250 yard shot on a par 5 that would get me close in 2. I chose my 4 iron and addressed the ball. As I made my swing downward I could feel my club face wasn’t square and opened up dramatically. The club hit the ball and created a screamer that was heading dead right. Lance, our playing partner, was ahead looking for his ball and had turned back and was driving his cart directly towards the ball. I screamed out, “Lance!” with terror in my voice because the ball was flying right for him. The ball connects directly with the cart’s windshield which has the picture you see to the right. Amazingly the ball misses Lance and bounces off the cart. After looking at the mark made on the windshield, I was 1 inch away from killing a human being.

I was pretty rattled and Lance was just laughing which I couldn’t understand because he was moments away from being killed. Obviously this wasn’t intentional but I would have felt horrible. I couldn’t shake that feeling for the next few holes and I was unbelievably relieved when he wasn’t even mad at me for the shot. This post is a word of warning to anyone who plays golf, always be behind the ball when someone is hitting. No where is safe.

By Tom Stortz|2014-06-14T22:32:28-04:00June 14th, 2014|Sports|0 Comments

Sixers Trading Thaddeus Young and #3 for the #1?

Tank For Wiggins!

I’m not a diehard Sixers fan but if I had to pick a favorite team, it’d be them. The Sixers took a team that had no chance of winning a title with Jrue Holiday and Evan Turner as their best players, and traded them away to get Nerlens Noel, Michael Carter Williams and the 3rd and 10th picks in this year’s draft. They flushed an entire season down the toilet to get set up in this manner. I do agree something needed to be done differently, however, I don’t see the spot they are in now as an amazing place to play from.

The Sixers have 2 NBA players (MCW – solid PG, Thad – upper end 6th man), 1 inexperienced center (Noel), and the 3 and 10 picks who are big question marks. The rest of the team sucks. Tony Wroten and James Anderson are the next best players. I have to raise the question, how is this position leaps and bounds better?

As a fan, I get extremely disappointed when teams tank. It’s pathetic and a slap in the face to the game. It’s trying to work the system in a way that might not even work. Has Gregg Popivich had winning seasons for 17 straight years because they tanked? WELLLLLLL, in his first season the team was 17-47 which enabled them to get Duncan. 17 years though can’t be questioned and goes far beyond tanking for a season.

Sixers Draft

So here we sit in June anticipating the draft and wondering what the Sixers are going to do. Rumors are swirling that they want Wiggins and Thad’s name has gone along with trading up to the #1 spot to make sure it happens. I think this is a horrible idea considering you don’t even know if the Cavs want Wiggins. This makes negotiating imperative because why give up Thad if the Cavs are going to take Embiid. Information and talks in June are mind blowing because the top 3 teams have to be careful in what information to reveal. Here is how I see conversation going:

Sixers: So Cleveland, are you going to draft Embiid?

Cavs: We might, but we also like Wiggins.

Sixers: We might really want Wiggins….or maybe Parker. Would you be interested in the trading the pick?

Cavs: Hmmmm, Who are you going to take?

Sixers: Hmmmm. I guess that depends on what the Bucks do. Hey Bucks, who are you drafting?

Bucks: Hmmmm. I’ll tell you if you tell me.

Information at this point is powerful because teams don’t know what to do. If you watched the 1984 draft on NBAtv you’d understand how important one draft pick can be. Is Andrew Wiggins the next Jordan? Who knows but is he worth giving up Thad Young to make sure? The answer is yes if he’s the next Jordan. I get the feeling that the Sixers feel like he is the next Jordan and that Wiggins it the piece to this puzzle that Hinkie has to make sure he gets. After watching his NCAA performance, there are many question marks. Remember, Jordan hit the winning shot for UNC to give their team the NCAA championship in his third year of college ball.

I am in full support of the move the Sixers made even though I think tanking is a rat way to play the game and a disgrace to the fans. Their chances of winning with Jrue, Evan, Spence, and the rest of the crew were 0. At least this is a different way of looking at the game even if it falls flat on its face. One thing for certain is that the team will have young talent, but that doesn’t translate to championships.

By Tom Stortz|2014-06-11T08:10:05-04:00June 11th, 2014|Sports|0 Comments