Same Tiger, Different Hole

Chad made this title so I figured I’d use this sentence to give him credit. As it turns out I won both of my tiger bets I made. He wore a black hat and shot under 70 for the first round. They had a stat on yesterday that said Tiger had never broken 70 in the first round of the majors EVER. Just shows that I was doing my homework before I bet. I really am amazed though how this guy just did that. He has so much media coverage and so much pressure from different areas to perform like that is really remarkable. I would think that his sponsors that dropped him will be really pissed off if he goes on to win this thing. I can’t really see any reason to dislike him other than the whole cheating on the wife thing but if he comes out of this situation a changed man, fine by me. I made a bet with the sheee for 100 dollars that he’ll be with Elin 5 years after their Thanksgiving debacle.

I’ve also encountered 3 ass clowns on the road in the past 2 days that I want to describe. Assclown 1 didn’t want to let me merge into his lane when two lanes were converging to one. I knew it was going to be a hassle the way he was spacing behind the car in front but the lane was ending and there really weren’t any other options. Be a nice guy and let the person in, that simple. Assclown2 was a female. She’s waiting in a lot looking to make a left. There is a huge line of cars coming in the lane she’s trying to get into but none coming the other way. I stop the line of cars effectively letting her in. She waits, and waits, and waits. I’m at a full stop at this point wondering what is going on, so I just assume she doesn’t want to turn and start to accelerate and guess what … she gets the hint and starts to accelerate at the same time so we are accelerating into each other together. We both slam on the brakes and I give a wild “go you stupid bitch” hand signal. Last time I try to be nice. Assclown three was at a light making a left hand turn. The light is green and there is oncoming traffic so he wouldn’t be able to turn. As the light turns yellow he is obligated to move into the center of the intersection and make the left turn when traffic stops for the red light. I could tell he wasn’t going to do it before it happened but I just think people have to understand this simple concept.

Bud Schmidt pointed out to me that my utensil was already created by some other braniac. However I’m sure his name wasn’t as brilliant as mine. Just so we are all on the same page and you understand what goes through my head, I name it the tri-eat. First, 3 different utensils to eat with, the basic behind the name. 2nd, it sounds like treat, and everyone would feel this was a treat to the utensil world. 3rd, it sounds like try it, which is perfect from a marketing stand point. Seriously, I’m a marketing genius.

I’ve been running a lot lately. I put in about 40 miles in the first 4 days of this week and I’ll post my running log sometime next week. I feel asleep at 7pm last night and woke up at 7am today. I did respawn at 2am to take my contacts out and brush my teeth but it was a rare Thursday that I didn’t go out. I feel good today and am looking forward to the weekend. If you are going to Riverpalooza let me know because I would like to attend but no one I know is really going.

By |2010-04-09T08:11:52-04:00April 9th, 2010|My Brain, My Life, Sports|0 Comments

Title change

So the randomness of me has been altered. Essentially when I searched for the randomness of me my site came up 3rd. Now I know not one person has ever searched for the randomness of me and to come up 3rd with such lame keywords was a bit disheartening. I read the two blogs ahead of me and the one hadn’t posted in months and the other crazed loon was photo shopping Jon and Kait. I knew that if I couldn’t top these two then I might as well add my moniker and then a funny word after it. Here are some synonyms for unhinged – bananas, batty, berserk, bonkers, confused, crazed, crazy, deranged, disturbed, insane, loopy, lunatic, mad, maniac, manic, mental, out of one’s mind, out to lunch, touched, unbalanced. We’ve been using the word bonkers for whenever someone passes the over the line of being normal. Meaning one too many mind erasers could drive you to that state or even a 38 dollar check from bodog. I’m not necessarily sure I’m going to keep it but it’ll have to work for now. I also altered the theme to keep things lively.

I’ve been pretty busy at work lately which is a good thing. I have a sales trip scheduled in a week or two that I’ll be doing by myself. I had too many good stories when I went with my dad so I know it’s not going to be as entertaining. There’s some apprehension about entering businesses and trying to sell them your goods but once I rationalize it like they are only people and they really can’t do anything to negatively impact you, so what the fuck. The webpage has been filled with the content and now it’s just time to add some extra features like payment processing and making sure everything is working. Hopefully this will bump business.

I’ve also been learning about option trading and have actually begun experimenting with it a bit. At 26 it’s such a good time to learn about the different financial vehicles out there because you’ll have the rest of your life to play with them. Plus it actually interests me which I can’t say about a lot of things. Maybe I’ll write about some of the moves I make in this blog to give people ideas of what goes through my head and how I think situations out (flawed perhaps but I always appreciate input even though I always rip any comments made in the blog). I’ve been gung ho on Sirius radio for a long time and it would only be just at this point if the stock went on a tear to the moon and I would profit in big ways through call options. Keep your fingers crossed.

I watched Black Hawk Down for the first time and I really don’t see what Hurt Locker had over this movie. It was made almost 10 years ago and I thought that point was barely noticeable. I thought the cast was great, no actors played their parts poorly. The mission was realistic and seemingly as accurate as you can make it. How they killed 1,000 skinnies and only lost 19 men is beyond me. That is really some amazing commandment. I’m sort of hurting for things to do again. I still have money in my poker account but haven’t been running so hot lately. The on demand for movies contains only the “i have to be extremely bored to watch this.” I might actually spend some more time reviewing more financial tactics just for kicks. I’ve wrote it before but if I went to college now after 5 years of work experience, I would have cared and learned so much more than when I went through it the first time. Concepts that they teach you in college are so foreign without real life experience that they just get forgotten as you get older.

I wanted to put out a contest to see how many people know what I’m talking about. There is a song that has an opening lyric that is burning and smells bad. That is the only clue and I think that this should be pretty hard but we’ll see. 10 dollars for the first person who emails tom@stortz.com the answer.

By |2010-04-08T01:17:31-04:00April 8th, 2010|My Life|1 Comment

2 or 4 door

I forgot that I was supposed to post this. On Friday we were going to drive to the driving range. So it was Chad, his brother Jon and myself. They both have black Nissan Altimas. So Jon was going to drive and I went to get into the back seat. I open the front door and pull the lever back but the seat is only sliding forward. So Jon’s in the front seat looking at me like I’m a retard and I’m staring right back at him like he’s retarded because his car is retarded. Turns out his is a sedan w/ doors and Chad’s is a coupe. So after some humiliation and them laughing at me because I was a sped, live moves on.

Just cruising topics. Now that’s it’s nice out, people start to run outside more. Understand I am completely for any and all exercise. I don’t care if your fat, stumpy, fugly, it doesn’t really matter the effort of actually doing it is what really counts. That being said, why do I see so many out of shape people. I just can’t understand how people let themselves go like that. It really isn’t that hard. I can’t imagine everyone is so busy that they can’t find one hour a day to put in some cardio and some lifting. You only have one body so you should pretty much take care of it. I abuse the hell out of with alcohol but I put in my time on the weekdays. There is a balance to everything.

By |2010-08-11T16:08:33-04:00April 5th, 2010|My Life|1 Comment

Rare Saturday Entry

I scheduled a dentist appointment for 11am on Saturday. Obviously I knew that this could be problematic. However, I woke up at 10:21, drove over there successfully only to have she devil pick at my gums until they bled dry. Yes I know I don’t floss often enough but I brush twice every day and it’s still not enough. Funny thing was though, I slept in my clothes and didn’t change before going over there so I probably reeked of alcohol and bar smell. I actually like the person who cleans my teeth though, she’s nice and every time I apologize for not flossing enough she quickly dismisses it. Here’s the thing with flossing, appointments are scheduled every 6 months. That is a lot of time to make up for. If I don’t floss for 5 months straight and then floss every day for a month I’d be golden. Problem is that I just treat that last month like the first 5. I would like to say though that I do go to the dentist. People around me are saying they don’t go and I must say that they are asking for trouble. Mouth work is not fun but critical to maintaining yourself.

Golf today. Probably not running because my insides aren’t working properly.

By |2010-04-08T15:13:24-04:00April 3rd, 2010|My Life|0 Comments

What do you think

I just have a couple of topics to harp on. We played Monopoly last night, the two Cohens, Wagon, and myself. 4 people is a good amount for board game playing. You can’t play with 2, 3 seems like it’s forced but with 4 people you can get a solid game in. And the more people that play the more fun board games become. Anyway we got to the midgame with all of us without any natural monopolies. I had the most properties but no money and everyone else had cash. So we begin negotiations and I say something to the effect that I need money. So what happens is I get both Evan and Adam willing to fork over some cash for some monopolies. I tell Evan I’ll trade him park place for all his money, and then Adam comes up with the deal that he’ll give me North Carolina (I only have one green) and about 1,500 dollars for my two yellows which would give him a monopoly. I gladly accept Evan who now has no money but a monopoly and can mortgage for a couple hundred bucks and Adam who has the yellow monopoly and a couple hundred bucks. So I’m sitting there with 3,500 dollars and then I make a deal with Chad for the 3rd green and give up my light blue and purple which give him monopolies. Obviously I wouldn’t be telling this story unless I dominated the rest of the game due to my business savvy. There were some outside forces that went along with this game but I wouldn’t be hiring the Cohen’s to look after your money because the real estate market and the potential of hotels will make them bonkers.

I have another insight on the free t-shirt. Free t-shirts are perfectly acceptable. I actually wear these green b&b t-shirts that I got at some convention nearly everyday. But understand, free t-shirts are garbage t-shirts. You shouldn’t get attached to them and should be apt to throw them away at the first sign of shrinkage or tear. There is something about a free t-shirt that says that I’m a cheap piece of shit and unworthy to be shown in public except under work, sports, or hanging around circumstances. Personally I have 2 separate t-shirt drawers, one pile (which I appropriately store on the floor) are my freebies which I work and sweat in, and another pile that I probably paid for an will wear out in public if I go anywhere. If you have a free t-shirt for over 5 years, it’s time to lay it to rest. I’m sure people take pride in having t shirts for a lengthy period of time but let me explain that this is more disgusting than Roseanne’s snatch.

Lately I’ve been having a lot of fun at stop signs. I like to see how timid people are. So when I come to a 4 way stop sign and the person to my left gets there ahead of me. I like to hit the accelerator and act like I’m going to go through just to see if they hit their brakes and let me. I see weak drivers all the time and just like to bully them. Same thing when people get stuck behind a stopped vehicle like a bus or someone broken down and they have their signal on to move over. I try to be nice and stop and let them turn into the open lane but when people are too bad of a driver to notice me doing this and just sit their because they are inept at using their mirrors, I just nix the idea and plow ahead. I could write columns on driving but it gets me too infuriated just sitting here.

My final observation is that I have a ton of socks. At least 25 pair of socks. The funny thing is I want more. The lifeline of a sock isn’t really that long. New socks have this nice feeling about them. They come right out of the bag all soft and new and you actually look forward to wearing a new sock. However, what I have now is 25 pairs of socks that are worn and just not new. I don’t like to toss a sock unless it has a hole in it which is why I have so many pair. Maybe I’ll donate all my socks to the homeless and just start fresh with packets and packets of new socks.

Prediction for the day, I will use the word “intrepid’ in conversation today.
Intrepid – Fearless; bold; brave; undaunted; courageous; as, an intrepid soldier; intrepid spirit.

I didn’t proof read either so…

By |2016-11-02T00:01:55-04:00March 31st, 2010|My Life|0 Comments

Nothing

I’m getting somewhat annoyed with this whole social networking / blog deal. I want to be able to write whatever I want in this blog but I keep having people who I wouldn’t want to read what I write find my shit. This is becoming problematic and will perhaps alter the way I have done things. I wish it wasn’t so but I have a business relationship friend me on facebook and that leads right to my website and that leads right to things that people who do business with you might not want to read. So I had to change my facebook picture so I don’t look like a passed out drunk and this is really just a nuisance. I’ll comment further when I decide how to proceed.

By |2016-11-01T23:54:26-04:00March 29th, 2010|My Life|0 Comments

Friday

I didn’t post yesterday and I did it on purpose because even though I want people to check this site with decent regularity because I update regularly, there is still some fun in not posting for a while and getting people to think that I’m doing something spectacular (I’m not). I noted in the video that I’m off the heater and back to normal. I’m pulling hard now for Duke and Ohio St because I have a good shot at winning a 200+ pool if I can get Kentucky and Ohio St to the finals with Duke winning tonight. Like Plies, I’m fucking awesome.

By |2010-03-26T10:40:52-04:00March 26th, 2010|My Life|1 Comment

Running Hot

I’ve been running hot in just about everything lately. The last two days I’ve bet on Brandon Lang’s free picks and both covered netting me 55 bucks. Then tonight I played 2 poker tournaments a 16 dollar sng and a 12 dollar 180 man and I happened to win both netting about 630. I just ran like a god in the 180 man with some decent play accompanying it. Seriously the game is so much luck that when I think I’m playing bad and I lose, compared to how well I ran tonight to win. Also we had a big day in business today and I expect the new website to boost sales throughout 10′. Plus the market has been on a heater and I’ve been making some decent cash there. This is far different than the feeling that transpired throughout all of 08 and 09 where shit was just hitting the fan. Any money that I am making now is just replacing the money I lost over the past years. I have high hopes for the next couple days because good vibes make good things happen. That is the secret (it’s a book not a real secret).

Not to mention I ran 6 miles at 5:50 pace which is getting me closer to broad street shape. I’m way ahead of my shape that I was in last year at this point in time and my new goal is to place in the top 100. I’m sacrificing going to my brothers graduation for this race so there’s some added pressure to do well (not really). He doesn’t care though I’d suspect. As a human being, things that are important to some people just don’t mean anything to me. I think I was born without a sentimental value or without all my emotions in check. Important things like weddings, anniversaries, and birthdays are all just … lets get them over with and move on.

You can despise me for bragging once again. My next goal to make happen is getting this website to generate more traffic. I don’t care about the notoriety but more so the challenge of putting content people care about and visit because they think it’s a worthwhile read. I understand completely that this post makes me come off as a pompous ahole but this is an overview of my life as I see it and the truth is what I tell.

By |2010-03-24T01:59:27-04:00March 24th, 2010|My Life|2 Comments

The evolution

I stumbled upon my very first blog entry which I wrote in July of 05′, that’s almost 5 years ago. It’s actually pretty funny because it’s after I graduated college and you’ll see that not much has changed.

“You’d think that it would be impossible for someone who doesn’t do anything to create a blog, but you’d be wrong. Lately I’ve been playing a lot of online poker, not always successfully but I’m sure in future posts I’ll be complaining about bad beats or raving about how good I am. I’m not sure who would read this thing but I figure if I put it in my profile some unlucky soul’s curiosity will get the better of them. A few things about me are that I am competitive and will bet on practically anything, who knows maybe a professional gambler is in my future. I graduated Pitt with a degree in Finance so I’m intending on opening up a online trading account so I’ll write about my brilliant stock picks in the future. I like to drink mainly rum and cokes, gin and tonic’s, and can drink a plethora of beer. I’m a big fan of good beer, specifically lagers, like red stripe or harp. I like to play basketball, I compare myself to Charles Barkley down low except that I’m not big or black. I’m training for a marathon in November and my longest run in the past 4 years has been 5 miles. I figured I’ll get in shape in the next few months but I wish running didn’t make you so tired so I wouldn’t dislike it so much. That’s pretty much it for now, If you read this and think it’s stupid I really don’t care so keep your dimwitted comments to yourself.”

It’s funny because I never even got close to the marathon and everything I did then I still do now. Scary that I’ve had no evolution and have stuck to my roots.

By |2016-11-01T23:56:07-04:00March 23rd, 2010|My Life|0 Comments

Read my blog

Jkash told me my last entry was lame, Jill said she was disappointed with the short entries, and Wagon doesn’t like it unless I write about money or sports. I would just like to say that it’s not easy to come up with quality posts daily and I’m not really a writer. I used to get B’s in English and my papers were usually weak sauce. However, all the negative thoughts aside, the one thing I have going for me is that if I can write something that entertains me, then most likely it will entertain you. I keep this blog for no other reason than to put my thoughts on paper and to have a history of my life. I don’t plan to make money off it, thus no advertisements. In some sense I would like to have more readers only to fulfill a sense of accomplishment that I could create something that people actually want to read. I actually hesitate sometimes to write things down because people can take everything I write in here literally and personally and think I’m making attacks which is never the case. Some thoughts by me on life.

– Guys shouldn’t do Yoga classes
– Don’t run outside in shorts if the weather is 45 degrees or lower
– It’s not ok to not visit the dentist
– Soda is bad for you and can lead to pancreatic cancer. Do not want.
– Too much Iced Tea leads to kidney stones
– People who only walk on treadmills bother me
– You should own a nice pair of jeans (no wrangler or levis)
– Wearing t-shirts more than once (for the whole day) without washing them after is not OK
– Unless you’re over 40, the mustache is a difficult look to pull off
– Lights for your car should auto turn on and off anytime the car starts whether dark or night
– Listening to Elton John doesn’t make you gay
– Listening to Adam Lambert does
– The #2 pencil will go down in the history books
– The big bang theory was not 5,000 years ago
– You should have at least 4 pair of shoes. 2 casual to swap looks, one athletic, and one dress. Sandals are ok
– I bite my fingernails but never below the nail
– You should own at least one suit
– Compliments are good ice breakers
– The richest counties are predominantly in the northeast so I think this should be good data for where the brains of the country are located
– Although I find hand cream to be feminine, I have used it on occasion
– The CD is a dying breed
– The spoon and fork should be replaced by the spork, it would really save on the amount of silverware produced
– Girls at bars need to get off their high horse. Basically girls are shallow, irrational, and notoriously bad drivers. I don’t really believe this but the more I pay attention, the more I see it.
– What’s amazing is that we live in the best country and it’s run by a govt who steals from it’s people and a corporate world run by thieves.
– The shocker is my new photo trademark. If you want to take a picture with me I’ll ruin it with the shocker, just a warning.

The older I get the less dependent on other people I’ve become. I can see myself as one of those regulars at a diner who come in at the same time everyday, order the same thing, read the same paper, and work that routine year after year. The highlight of my day is waking up and then living the first hour. I get in my car, listen to music I like, eat my bbq sunflower seeds, get a breakfast I enjoy, and then reading the Wall Street Journal to keep me up to date on what’s happening in the business world. That makes me happy. That and listening to music when I’m drunk. I don’t need a lot of money or fancy cars or a mansion. I wrote it before, give me a place to live, a warm environment with a golf course and nothing to do and that’s what I want. I’d wake up, do my routine, go for a run, and then spend my time golfing or reading. I would prefer that lifestyle to what I’m doing now which is working the grind 5 days a week and then getting wasted the rest of the time. The working leads to the drinking which leads to the problems. I’m a pretty simple person with simple needs. I don’t aspire to change the world or make a difference. Maybe I’ll find someone that makes me happy and have some little TC’s but not until I can take care of myself, can I take care of anyone else.

No mistakes this time Jill.

By |2010-03-09T00:23:05-05:00March 9th, 2010|My Brain, My Life|3 Comments
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