It’s been a few days since I’ve posted which is probably the longest I’ve gone without an update unless I’m on vacation or something. I have a lot of things to write about but I just haven’t been “feeling it”. Human life is interesting because your life and people within your life are always changing and this effects how you act and feel. I’ve been feeling really good about a lot of things lately. For one, I’m leaving for Orlando tomorrow for a roofing show. Then on Friday I’m flying to Lauderdale to spend some time with the Rock. I come back on Sunday to be in the States for one week before I fly off to New Zealand and hang out with Jeff and Nicole for a full week. Health wise I’m doing great and personally I’m figuring out where I stand. I’m learning to live for my own values and stop worrying about what others think. This should be a really action packed couple of weeks of my life and I’m looking forward to it.

When it gets really cold out like it is today, I think staying underneath a warm blanket is amazing. I went to sleep at around midnight and accidentally woke up at 3am and I this was such a good feeling knowing that I could stay warm for the next 4 hours. I even got lucky and accidentally woke up again at 5:45. It really makes you not want to get out of bed when the temperature outside is under 30 and the warmth of a comforter has to be close to 80 degrees.

We did go bowling last night which was a change from the usual. I think I averaged a 130 or so but the Wevs was dominant with a 160 average and taking my money in 4 straight games. This was also coming off a beating I took from the Shee in ping-pong where he probably won 8 of 9 or so. I don’t make excuses and he plays me pretty smart by keeping it away from my forehand and making me play defensive. I think they are really good games though and I don’t think I find much more enjoyment out of random table games.

Another week has come and gone and life is just passing by one day at a time.

Oddly enough this has been a pretty long time without me being able to come up with good material. I just sit here trying to think of interesting material and nothing comes. I suspect this can happen as the project (my blog) starts to move out of its young phase. Meaning that some activities that I’m doing currently, I’ve done before. I find it difficult to write about things that I know I’ve wrote in similar fashion in past years. For instance, I won a few hundred bucks at the casino this weekend but do you realize how many times I could write about a casino story? The readers just get tired of it. So that’s where I sit presently. Pretty much doing the same routine with nothing of interest coming to me. This won’t last forever and I have to apologize for wasting your time.

I don’t have anything new to comment on. Things have been fantastic lately. I’ve been doing some reading and I’m feeling really positive about myself and my future. I’m not sure why I don’t always feel this way but for whatever reason now I am. I feel healthy, work has been solid, I have fun things upcoming to look forward to, life is good. Unfortunately I can’t think of anything clever or interesting to write about. I don’t know where ideas come from but for whatever reason they aren’t with me right now. It comes and goes though so I don’t expect it to last forever. I know this is just a post where you read about me writing about virtually nothing that pertains to you so I’ll just end here and save you the time wasting…

I’m going to blab my thoughts on an investment that can potentially make a lot of money. Notice how smart I’m getting in my wording with investment and potential. TVIX. It’s the volatility index and it’s going to blow if bad financial news starts coming. It’s at a low point right now and even a two point gain would be 13%. I’m not saying get greedy but I think this is a decent option in today’s environment. Tell me I was wrong on NFLX at 70? But you can tell me I was wrong on MOBI which has pretty much tanked but I think I had a post that said get out because there was shady accounting.

I’ve also been starting every morning watching this youtube clip which features Buster Bluth from Arrested Development. I just go around saying “Hey Brother”

I can’t explain it exactly but something has changed. Rnningfool.com is starting to lose its Brandi Passante traffic. I’m no longer getting thousands of hits and things are returning to normal. The bounce rate is dropping and time on site is increasing so the analytics are showing a truer reflection of people who want to visit this site compared to people who accidentally find their way here. I feel like this ends the Brandi era. It is interesting to note though how this unusual trend happened and then try to ask why it happened. A single picture of D-list celebrity and the word mug shot was the combination to success. I think the key was it being a person who was relatively famous but not someone that is covered by every major national tabloid. A blog like this doesn’t compete in the searches with “real” sites. It also helps that the female had big cans which is something I will also remember for the future.

I am happy to feel like I get a fresh start though with some new ideas. I wasn’t able to conform to the structure that I laid out a few weeks ago with a different topic post on a per day basis. My schedule is too inconsistent. If I planned the project in advance and had months of posts ahead of time, this would work. Sometimes I can’t find the time to post every day. Also ideas for posts don’t always come to me. I can rattle off 3 posts a day some days and others I can just sit there for hours. I can’t explain why. I also have to do a better job with writing down things I think of during the day that would turn into posts.

Another reason I write about a new era is that it’s time I rise from the 2nd tier that I described a few posts ago. I’m attributing the Brandi era as a segment of my life that I’m now shifting out of. This new era will be a more self-confident me who will try to bring this feeling to not only my social interactions but this blog as well. I think I’ve always had some sort of self confidence issues whether it be public speaking, socializing, or just not believing in my abilities. I think I’ve hindered myself to various degrees because of my own self perception. For instance, the thought “I can’t make a lay up in basketball” has actually prevented me from making lay ups. The mindset “I’m an awesome player and I will bring my abilities to the court the best I can” would be better. I think the idea of this paragraph though is all a maturation process through life. Most people can’t just be a charismatic leader like Mark Cuban, it takes time and learning. That’s the key to life, don’t let people persuade you to be someone your not and to always keep learning and improving. This next era of my life will be the best yet with hopefully better posts and better stories.

Many people are delusional. I am not. I have had people tell me I’m cocky or arrogant and I assure you that winning or being the best isn’t my prerogative. I almost prefer losing because I can learn how to improve. I have a very astute self evaluation. I know things that I do well at and I know things that aren’t for me. Unfortunately this leaves me in the second tier of just about everything. For arguments sake there are many levels of tiers in just about everything and usually only the first pays off. Being in the second tier has proved frustrating and it’s like constantly waiting for something, somewhere, somehow to tell you that you have the ability to take it to the next level. Here are a few examples from my life and what they have led to.

• Academically I wasn’t the most intelligent but still went to Pitt and graduated with a 3.5 average in Finance. Good but not the best. I’m pretty decent with numbers and Jkash will say my English needs some work but using my brain for anything other than a business idea isn’t going to happen. I’m not going to work for NASA or find the next cure for cancer. Academia is out.
• I’ve probably spent thousands of hours of playing poker and could never get a big score I went deep in multiple big tourney’s where the scores were 5 and 6 figures but never could hit the big one. I know I’m a good player but I just can’t devote the time it takes to sit in front of the computer for 40-80 hours a week and take it to the next level. Poker is such a stupid game but you can play for life changing money. One big score can alter your entire life.
• Golf is a reach but it really is a game of hours. If I practiced 8 hours a day for 1 straight week I promise I could take 10 strokes off my game quickly. The potential is there considering I can hit the ball 300 yards off the tee but I don’t have the time (or ability) to ever become a professional and make money playing the game.
• I included basketball because back when I was 12 (or around there) I would win 1v1 tournaments at Germantown Academy basketball camps. Bud can attest to this as I beat him in the finals one of the years. I was actually a skilled player back then but completely undersized when I was good. It just sucks that this was my best game growing up because you have a better chance of succeeding if you grow up playing it. However, back in the 80’s the game wasn’t the same way as it is now so maybe my dad had some hope.
• I’m also good at running distance and will go out on a limb and say I can drink more alcohol and perform better than 99% of the population. People who run the times I can run aren’t getting smashed on the weekends. This leads to nothing other than staying in shape.

The point of this post isn’t bragging. It’s explaining the point of being close but never being there. In any of the above mentioned categories, they will never be anything but recreation to me. Where do you go when your stuck in the mediocrity? Work a 9-5 and be content? If I can find anything at all to financially secure me for the rest of my life, I would spend all my time doing it. If you don’t, or you are spending all your time doing something and aren’t getting anywhere, what’s your plan? I am tired of grinding. How about the rest of you?

So as of late I’ve been experimenting with being more personable. Mainly talking to strangers, making eye contact, and just trying to identify with people. This is not my normal self but simple things taking me out of a comfort zone is probably healthy. Anyway, I go to Dunkin Donuts in the morning and usually get a sesame seed bagel with cream cheese. So they usually have one employee there who makes the sandwiches and he’s noticed I order the same thing. So I said something stupid like “so I guess you’ve noticed I usually order the same thing every day.” He gave some response but what this did was instilled that I order the same thing every day. Now whenever I walk into D&D, it doesn’t matter how long the line is, he is always preparing my bagel and cream cheese so I never have to wait for him to make it. It’s a real kind gesture and great because I’m in and out in record time but he’s put me in a spot where I can’t order anything different. Say I want a Big and Toasty and he sees me and begins the bagel process before I even order. I’m not going to disappoint him and say that’s not what I wanted. Just another scenario of life throwing an unexpected curve ball. Damn life’s tough.

So the most exciting thing in my life was this morning I woke up when my clock showed 6:45. This was exactly 30 seconds before my phone alarm also went off at 6:45. The two clocks are 30 seconds apart which allowed for this incredible event. I do find it unbelievable that the first time I woke up this morning was my exact programmed time making me wonder why I even use an alarm clock. I ended up turning off the alarm and sleeping til 7:30 for what its worth.

That’s seriously the best story I have. I went to the Sixers game on Friday which was what I expected it to be and Saturday I drank and few beers and went to the Tavern on Broad which was also what I expected. No blackouts, no stories, no nothing. Pretty uneventful I know. I also can’t explain why I seem to lose any motivation to maintain my blog on the weekends. Probably the booze. I’m not keeping up at all with the structure I tried to install but that’s the way it goes.

Except I know exactly what I’ve been getting. I know the blog material has been pretty static but I’m pretty much living/wasting life away. I tallied a new best time in a 3 mile run on the Track Tuesday clocking in at 16:50. This is boding well for the 5 miler on February 18th. I also had a nice dinner with Laura at Farmicia where we talked about a lot of good topics and I thought the food was pretty average to be honest. We both sort of agreed that we need to be more outgoing and make more of an effort in various forms. I also think she talked me into the New Zealand trip to visit Jeff. I was pretty much on the fence because it’s a decent sized expenditure and it’s in a land that 22 hours away. Most likely though I won’t get the opportunity so I think I’m just going to commit and be done with the hesitating.

An odd thing I did last night was crush a mouse that was stuck on a sticky trap. Someone called me and asked if I could do it because they didn’t want to touch it and I said I would. I was pretty emotionless at ending the mouse’s life. This lack of emotion struck me as odd too when Laura asked if I would be excited to go to New Zealand and I pretty much was like ellipses. For some reason I just don’t get emotional at everything. I’m not sure if I’m programmed that way or what but it’s hard to explain what triggers emotion in me. I’m not emotionless 100% but it just takes the right formula for striking it in me. Crushing the mouse is also different because I almost feel like I’m doing it a favor. You set the traps to get rid of it, it gets caught and is stuck and living and you can’t just set it free. It’s like just get it over with. I feel like these are character traits of murderers…