Today started in absurd fashion. The lock on the back door has been problematic in that the bolt would jam. So today I started my day off by trying insanely hard to unjam it and ended up breaking the knob completely off. This led me to call a locksmith who was able to get the bolt unstuck but unable to fix it completely because it was 30 years old. Now I had to go to Home Depot (on the recommendation of the locksmith) to find out that they obviously didn’t stock that lock. 90 dollars for emergency repair, 90 dollars for new lock. Nice start.

That wouldn’t be much of a story except that I also broke the toilet seat today. For some unknown reason the hinges of the seat snapped completely as I went to sit down. It left me shifting towards the wall as the seat fell off the bowl. In the same Home Depot trip I tried to find new screws but will probably end up having to buy a brand new seat because two 1 inch screws snapped off. C’est la vie.

All around the same time I also needed to measure the door to have that information available as I went to Home Depot to get the lock that wasn’t there. The tape I used was part of Jeff’s “items”. The reason I use quotes is because Jeff’s items tend to never be fully functional. Meaning that they work, but there’s usually something wrong with it. He’s like the little kid whose toys are always sticky and broken. So I get the tape to measure the doors and begin the process. After doing the measuring I try to release the tape back into itself and it gets stuck on the 23″ mark. I notice a tear in the tape. So as I begin trying to get the tape back in, it snaps completely and rolls back in with me holding 1-24. Whoops.

That left 3 things in about an hour period that I tried to use and ended up breaking them. I came into home ownership like a wrecking ball.