I’m going to try a new technique with this post and that’s typing for 30 minutes straight without a filter. No backspaces (except for typos) and my stream of thought as if you were the therapist and I’m the patient.
I saw Sam listening to Twenty One Pilots on Spotify and decided they were a fine choice for a band to listen to as I type this. I chose Vessel instead of Blurryface and decided to turn the shuffle off. There is a missed magic about listening to albums in full with digital in full force.
That’s all I have to say about that. I took a bite of some shitty Jimmy Dean sausage, egg, and cheese that I cooked 90 seconds in the microwave. I don’t like it but I didn’t eat the last piece of Shroomin’ tonight. That’s a pizza, not a drug.
I was at South Bowl where I seem to be spending more time than usual. I’m not sure why I like the bowling alley to hang out but it’s a skill game and I like the people around the alley. Sure, there is that family of 9 people who ruins the entire experience but it’s pretty fun for the most part.
Which will lead me to tonight where I bowled in a 14 person tournament in a 9 tap format. A 9 tap is when you get a 9, you get a strike. You’d be surprised how often you don’t get a 9. In the 1st round I beat a quality bowler who choked in the 10th. In the next round I beat a guy who was equally poor closing. In the semi-finals, I played Nichole who went open in the 10th. All I had to do was to not split and pick up the spare…and I blew it. No big deal. Only experience. I respect Nichole’s game as well. I’m not saying she would hold an edge on me, but I’d like to think I can throw a few more strikes.
It’s been about 7 minutes and I wrote this would go on for 30. I’m at 330 words which is a decent amount but it looks like I’ll have to hit 1,000.
I intro’d in the last post that I was a pathetic loser for binge watching the Office for a seemingly long time, and I’ll touch on that with this post.
I don’t have a girlfriend. My friends are mostly either engaged or seeing someone and I’m at the age where people are tending to settle down. I’ve never believed in the idea of settling down just to settle down and that shines through the older you get.
Here’s a link to Your Life in Weeks and you’ll notice that there is a lot of time left. More than half your life when your 33 like me. Picking someone to live with the rest of your life with isn’t a decision that you make because your friends are making that decision. It’s one that you choose carefully and that’s why more people are getting married later. It’s knowing whether your are responsible enough to be a father. Anyone can have a child that you don’t do your best with and that’s not me.
My goal in life is to do any task the best that I absolutely can. I’m not into settling or giving up and that’s the personality you need to succeed. There are too many people in this world to get stuck in the herd. Many people are fine getting a job, finding a wife, having children, and seeing out that life. I don’t doubt for a second that there is plenty of fulfillment in that life choice. It’s not me though.
I don’t even know what me is. I have a good job that is growing with well thought out plans. I know I’m destructive when I have nothing to do. That means betting on sports, getting hammered, doing stupid shit. I’ve done a lot of that. This past weekend I pretty much did nothing and feel fine today while I type this instead of feeling like a turd that can’t get out of his bed until noon. That’s not who I want to be but I’ve learned that there isn’t any go between. It’s not, “I’ll drink a little bit” because that always leads to worse. So being and introvert, and trying to remove the binge drinking, alcoholic from my system, it leads to a lot of “what am I doing?”
Which I’ve learned that most people are asking this question. No one out there has it all figured out. Your place in history is most likely non-existent. Many people think the world revolves around them that is that fundamental difference between what I’m writing in this post and many beliefs. I don’t have the answers. I’m a guy who was gifted a few talents and have no idea how to utilize them to their fullest. I do know that most people don’t keep a blog for 7+ years for the sake of it. I’m at the end of this stream of thought. I ran out of material and didn’t quite get to 1,000 words. 849 to be exact. If this method of blogging catches on, just know that you read it here first.