My last post was a big picture post. This one will go into detail of random thoughts that pop in my head on a day to day basis. My last few posts are in no way going to be as entertaining as this but I feel like you have to throw some real thoughts in a blog from time to time. A final thought before I go on, if you read my last post, you’d know that I moved into my next 4 span time frame and in this stage you stop giving a fuck what people think about you. So if you read this and think “what is wrong with this clown.” I don’t give a fuck.
My shits have been kind of wimpy lately and I wasn’t sure why. I haven’t exercised in 4 days which is way longer than I usually go. The reason why is because I practiced softball on Monday and that literally put me down for 2 days due to an aching body (I’m a puss but I’m serious). So I’ve been eating junk food and not working out so I’d figure I’d be moving some monsters from my intestines. So today I’m thinking, this has got to change. So I sit on the throne and put both hands under my thighs and start pulling (arms) upward with as much force as possible. With this patented method and a full on force out, I created an explosion. I almost always double flush anyway but this required one. I’m so scared of letting the toilet get clogged that I’ll even triple flush if I have to. It’s not the shit so much that clogs it but the paper, so if you ever start to get worried you’ve wiped too much, double flush without thinking twice. And a random thought about shitting, never shit in someone elses house unless you desparately need to because the worst possible scenario always does.
Someone told me that they always wear boxer briefs and never boxers. I will only wear boxers. My mom probably bought me tighty whities when I was little but once I found boxers I’ve never gone back. I don’t need my nuts attached to my leg. This can’t be good for your package being confined and without oxygen for hours on end. The only time I ever wore briefs was when I had to run track and had to wear short shorts. Only retards would wear boxers with short shorts. I do however freeball in running shorts and as long as there is lining, I have no problems. I think it feels uncomfortable at first but once you start running it’s fine. Since I’m on the topic of my johnson, I’m not scared to bic my balls. People have a fear of a razor touching their sac. I have not once cut myself and the thought of having long hairs descending from my boys grosses me out. It ends up like Dave Chapelle said, “smooth as eggs.” I’d be scared shitless to take an electric razor down there though. One mistake and you could potentially wipe out the one eyed monster. Why am I telling you this? Because like I said, I don’t give a fuck and here’s an opinion of a man from white suburbia on the how to maintain yourself properly.
On another note, I really hate when someone starts conversation with Hi! How are you? and then the fucking idiot replies, Hi! How are you! This is not a fucking response to the question. When someone asks how you are, you say “I’m fucking awful, leave me alone.” Everyone always replys, “Oh i’m good.” So boring and generic. When people ask me I’m going to blow their minds and tell them I just had a ball removed and I shat blood, how do you think I am? Most people are phonies in conversation anyway and probably won’t even be listening.
My final rant will be on people who wear headphones everywhere they go. It’s like they need to be trapped in their own little world where no one can interfere. I’ll go in the store and some douche will have headphones in. What if I want to tell him to move out of my way and he’s happy go lucky jamming to his shitty DMB tunes (this type typically will go with the headphones constantly). If your exercising, I’m fine with listening to music to help pass the time. Personally I think it’s for pussies because it blocks out the pain and focus that comes along with really exercising. The more I think about it after writing what i just wrote, it doesn’t really bother me that much but if it’s preventing you from hearing things around you like cars and people, than most likely its not the time or place. My general rule, if you can sit down, rock out. If you are moving or driving, not the time.
Stillers minus the points and the under in a parlay.
This song has been getting some play for a few weeks now and I think it’s pretty good.