It was the Shee’s birthday yesterday and I had no idea so I obviously missed it. I feel bad about it but I’m not sure what I could have done other than known when it was by memory. There was no Facebook reminder and it didn’t spring up in conversation in the weeks leading up. This is the 2nd birthday in the past month or two of a person who is close to me that I wasn’t aware of. I’m indifferent.
I know 8 people’s birthdays by heart. Each member of my family, my oldest friend Bud, Evan’s because it’s New Years, and Ck4 because I’m reminded by the 24th and it happens in the month of our family vacations. To everyone else, I have no idea when your birthday is and have no future plans to learn them. This doesn’t make me a bad person. People who put credence in others remembering their birthday take it way too seriously. It’s a nice thing to have someone wish you a happy birthday, but it isn’t a deal breaker. A friendship isn’t about one moment in time. We live on this Earth for 75 years and you know who your friends are based on a body of work that goes way past remembering birthdays.
Friends are people who pick you up when your car dies. Who let you stay with them when you are locked out. Who hang out until 3 in the morning talking drunk talk. My brain doesn’t program around birthdays and their importance. If I remember a birthday, I remember a birthday. I’m not a guy who marks every friends birthday in my calender so I can remember to wish them a happy birthday and get them a present. The fake friend Facebook happy birthday is an abomination. I’d rather real miss your birthday than fake Facebook it. This may not be thoughtful but this is my truth.