We Don't Walk Slow

Thank You Odell Beckham Jr

How good are ODB and Lake Norman (I pray that nickname doesn’t stick)? Odell Beckham Jr. carries a ProFootballFocus WR Grade of 94. Only A. Brown, J. Jones, A. Jeffrey, and L. Fitzgerald are higher. Jeffrey and Fitz don’t belong in the conversation. ODB is next level.
Josh Norman holds a DB Grade of 89 and only Jason Verrett is higher. He was the #1 coming in but due to some erratic play vs the Giants, he dipped to 2. He’s emerging as the best corner on the best team in the league.

Current State of Affairs?

Once again, people are idiots. Most simpletons are throwing their hands up and screaming how ODB was out of line for his flying head butt and personal foul calls. Of course the bigger point is missed because most people don’t really watch football. They just want some water cooler talk about how ODB is a thug and his behavior is out of line. If you do watch football, you watched was the best individual match up, and the best game, of the entire season after 14 weeks. I’m ranking this the #1 game of about 225 games played this season.

I’ll share the key match up stats for those interested (profootballfocus):

Beckham was thrown at nine times overall (seven with Norman in coverage), catching six of them (four vs. Norman) for 76 yards (30), a TD (one) and two drops (two).
Coming into the game, Beckham — the man known for one-handed and other highlight-reel catches — had just two drops on the season, and four in his entire NFL career. He had two in Sunday’s game alone, including that early one that should have been a deep score, and was visibly allowing his frustration with Norman to boil over throughout the game.
ODB was the lowest graded receiver this week with a -5.5.

What I Care About

This happened on the 5th play from scrimmage.

This was Zeus vs God. These players didn’t give an inch and ODB is taking heat for what is competitive football. Josh Norman was no angel through all this and ODB did what the best do, compete. Sure it was ridiculous but this game is ridiculous. Can we count how many injuries there have been this season? This isn’t baseball.

How about this quote from Sheldon Richardon of the Jets:

Not a pussy.

“They both were going at each other,” Richardson told NJ Advance Media. “It’s football, man. That’s one thing I can’t stand about it now. People still want us to be like guys in suits, but we’ve got helmets on. Some games get a little more physical. A guy might be putting clamps on you, and he might be getting in your head a little bit.

“[Beckham] took a cheap shot. He did. But a game suspension, I think that’s a little overboard. Media drives it, so it feels like Roger Goodell will have to do something about it. That’s just how this league is now. Basically, if the media writes a bad report about you, I guess the NFL looks at you a different way.”

Don’t Fuck With ODB

The retaliation is incredible. You can’t see in this gif but there was 3:11 in the 3rd quarter and the score was 35-7 when this happened. By the end, the game was tied 35-35. This was an incredible comeback spurred on by this emotional momentum created by this battle. The 4th quarter was easily the most entertaining anything the NFL has produced this year. KICK HIM OUT OF THE GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL. Roger Goodell probably issued orders to make sure he stays in it. Plus the idiots who said Tom Coughlin should have sat him? He wants to get to the playoffs. You know that important place at the end of the season where you don’t sit your best player.

What happened to Norman?

Game on the line? Throw it to OBJ. Beckham beats Norman. Beckham scores. Beckham dabs. Tie game. #CARvsNYG https://t.co/TFvqQEbzRO — NFL (@NFL) December 20, 2015

I obviously care very little about Cam Newton, who beat me in 2 fantasy playoffs as he threw 5 TD’s, and drove his team down the field for the game winning FG to make mince meat of the Giants comeback. I actually like Cam and he is the MVP of this season and there are no other options. If Brady wins, racism. The outcome of the game was an after thought though to ODB’s antics and punishment was necessary.

Oh ,darn…another dropped pass. I’ll get em next time

So ODB gets suspended for one game for letting the nature of competition get the best of him and putting on the performance of the year. Do you think the Eagles might be able to benefit from a player who cared that much about the game? I wish we had a player who wanted to win as much as ODB. That’s why I love guy’s like him. The guys who care the most, have the chance to be the best and there’s no point in liking losers.

By Tom Stortz|2015-12-23T02:01:02-05:00December 23rd, 2015|Sports|0 Comments

Just Quit Brett Brown

1-29. 1-29. 1-29.

People still show up to the press conference to ask questions and this idiot babbles on that the team’s main problem is turnovers. This the shittiest team in professional basketball history and we make this shill give press conferences. 29 times he’s said they suck. Why do we need to hear 30? Cancel the season. Save the embarrassment. Forfeiting at this point saves more face.

By Tom Stortz|2015-12-22T22:18:35-05:00December 22nd, 2015|Sports|0 Comments

Let’s Talk Fantasy Football

The Turkey’s are projected to lose 111 to 119 to What is a Wren. Right.

Let’s talk ODB for a moment. If you’ve had any fantasy football conversation with me over the last year, I’ve said he is the best receiver in the game and he is proving it. Sticky hands. I wrote this in July when he was snubbed as a top 10 player pre season. This week he gets Josh Norman who is arguably the best cornerback in the game. A true test. Hands down the best match up of the week. I’m not worried.

Wild Turkeys

Time to talk specifics for the 3 leagues I’m in. I’ve won Evan’s league in 4 of the last 5 years and to play in another title game would add to the legend (that no cares about but me). I draw Bud who has had less than great success against my team. In 2013, we played a game where the final score was 144.86 to 146.88 in the first round of the playoffs. I put up huge numbers in the 1pm games getting TD’s from guys like Jordan Todman. Then amazing happened as the Seahawks demolished John Skelton for 50 points or so? and Matt Stafford couldn’t score 2 points in the final minutes and I advanced. Last year Bud ran into the Turkey buzz saw once again in a trouncing 148.9 to 108.28. For the 3rd straight year we meet in the playoffs. Let’s look at the game:

Was the QB at Michigan and now is a big RB

I scooped up Denard Robinson and Bryce Brown which give me some more fire power than I had initially at RB. I have James White consideration as well. I can choose between Alex Smith and Mariota which I like to have as options at QB. My receivers are Julio, who has a plum matchup, and ODB who in my opinion is uncoverable. Zach Miller is a fine plug in TE. Chiefs D has been fire. I like my matchups.

I tried to trade Bud for Cam but he wisely kept him as he led him to a 1st place regular season

Bud has a different story which requires more thought. I know he reads this so I have to put these thoughts in his mind to hopefully have him question his decisions.

I read this: “Pittsburgh’s wide receivers should be downgraded across the board against Denver’s elite secondary.” When you have Antonio Brown and Martavius Bryant, this leads to some concern. Cam Newton and Greg Olson should also give huge consideration because the Panthers are 12-0 and don’t have to win, let alone even play, especially with Greg Olsen tweaking a knee last week. Ivory and Murray are fine RB’s and you have to ride the hot streak of Baldwin. Amendola will see targets as well.

As always, I expect a hard fought game against Bud but the Turkeys don’t like to lose.

The Dark Knight

My team in Baker’s league is pushing forward even with my passive management. Leagues that don’t have waiver bids make me care less because I know I don’t have an opportunity to get the players I want. Fortunately this week I got Shoelace which alleviates my RB pressures of Ronnie Hillman. Carson, AJ, Decker, Ivory, Gronk, and Cooks round out a solid squad. I’m up against Cam & AB in this league as well which I think I’m happy with because if I win 1, I’ll win 2. My opponent is playing Woodhead, Forte, Landry, Tate, and Ben Watson. I like my chances.

Untitled

Note to self: Having these 2 on your team win fantasy leagues

I’ve moved my team name around in this league and haven’t settled on one specific name. I take on Ed McGrath who seemingly finds the playoffs every year. Unfortunately for Ed, my team is a complete powerhouse. As only a 3 point favorite, I expect to make short work of the eldest McGrath. The Brady to Gronk combo is in full effect. Martin, Ivory, and Bryce Brown make up my RB’s while ODB and Doug Baldwin are my WR’s. Panthers have been an awesome defense. I have Hurns and Cooks on the bench so I still may do some tinkering. This team dominated the league scoring almost 1,600 points in a half point PPR which is huge number.

Ed is riding Russell Wilson who I’m not going to lie worries me. Guys who don’t worry me are CJ Anderson and Bilal Powell. Fitzgerald, Crabtree, and Tate are reasonable plays and I’m up against Greg Olsen again. Ed’s decision to bench Dez is smart in my opinion. My biggest concern is that my team is due for a let down game after almost putting up 160 points last week. These players have been so hot that eventually they cool off and hopefully they do enough to squeak by. Anything less than a title shot in this league is a huge disappointment as I undoubtedly had the best team all season long.

By Tom Stortz|2015-12-17T09:43:07-05:00December 17th, 2015|Sports|2 Comments

Turkeys Win!

Not this time.

Ho hum, the Wild Turkeys defeat the Shee in the playoffs. Big shocker. Playing big name players like Marigota, James White, Kyle Rudolph, and Ronnie Hillman was too much for the Shee to overcome. Another year, another playoff victory. If I did that math, that puts me at 11-0 for my last 11 playoff games in the Dynasty. Ho hum.

I also knocked off Bake in his own league as long as Josh Brown doesn’t go for 21. Down to the final 4 in 3 leagues. Wevs is up next and doesn’t have a vehicle like this incredible blog to trash talk. Just because you’re the commissioner doesn’t mean the Turkey’s will show you any mercy. I hope Bud is waiting in the championship wings because the Turkeys are pretty much a steam roller to any of Bud’s teams. My team in Steve’s league is even better as they put up 140 points, ON THEIR BYE WEEK. I didn’t even pay attention and sub Gronk in and Teach Me How To Dougie Baldwin dropped 35 on nobody. I also failed to submit my DK lineup where I had a Russy and Dougie stack. My bovada account is virtually empty too which sucks but that’s the breaks. Horrible post but I’m at work and wanted to drop a post.

By Tom Stortz|2015-12-14T10:21:47-05:00December 14th, 2015|Sports|0 Comments

Getting Your Doors Blown In

I know my readers care little about my football experience but it’s my blog and you’ll have to suffer through my suffering.

After leaving Saturday night with a $150 dollar win on Iowa +4, I had high expectations for football Sunday. I had done my research and felt primed and ready to go for a smorgasbord of fantasy, Draftkings, and actual bets. After leaving the 4pm games, I considered myself pretty happy with where I sat. Come this morning, I’m singing a different tune.

Click to enhance. Enhance. Enhance.

Draftkings is the first amazing run of “what the fuck”. I’m currently cashing for $60 (which would break me even) with the Redskins D hopefully making me a little more without being bounced from the other cash. I’m “only” putting up 180, 193, and 193+. The Steelers onslaught changed my rank quickly as I had virtually no exposure. It should be noted my best team left 500 dollars on the sideline and had A-Pete go for a pittance. My expectations were high, the results were low.
The Steelers-Colts game was a huge fuck you to me all around. Evan overtook me with Frank Gore for our bye game and the Pool Boys overtook me for regular season champ with Big Ben. Unless RunDMC gets hurt, I’ll lose both games. This puts me in the playoff hunt in 3 leagues having to play 2 times next week.
My bets were atrocious. The Browns cost me $100 along with a $50 tease (which lost 2 or 5). The Colts cost me $75 and I have the sinking feeling that I’m a complete moron, which I may be. Tough day all around.

I’ve been through this before so I know you don’t let it spiral out of control. The best thing to do is take a step back, re-group, and then start playing again when you have a better mindset. All in all, I’m still doing fine with my betting and DK is sort of kicking my ass but I’m at least enjoying it.

By Tom Stortz|2015-12-07T11:35:30-05:00December 7th, 2015|Sports|1 Comment

Aaron Rodgers Hail Mary

By now you’ve probably seen this footage (the link is actually great quality) and it’s a play that should be analyzed. I’m not going to discuss the previous weak called face mask which people will turn into the big picture of why this happened. First and foremost, Aaron Rodgers throwing the ball 60+ yards is unbelievable. Most QB’s don’t even allow this play to happen.

The biggest part of this is watch who catches the ball. It’s Richard Rodgers and look at the angle he takes. He’s way in front of the ball and drops back. Every team practicing a hail mary should watch this and see who had first chnace at the ball. Players in the back get jumbled up and can’t move towards it. Rodgers positioning worked like a charm. Great play.

I also had 65 dollars at -3 (+110) which made me pretty happy as well.

By Tom Stortz|2015-12-04T11:14:22-05:00December 4th, 2015|Sports|0 Comments

Fury Sings “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”

Tyson Fury. What a performer. If JC says it’s worth watching, it’s definitely worth watching…and I would also be singing a song to her.

I know some people are going to have no idea what’s going on in this video.What you are watching is Tyson Fury singing “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” to his wife after ending a 9 year title run from Wladimir Klitschko.

Hayden Panettiere is Wladimir Klitschko’s wife.

9 years is an absurd amount of time to defend a belt. Unfortunately he was doing it in a time where heavyweights weren’t what they once were. There was no Ali, Forman, or Lennox Lewis, during his reign over the last decade. His sheer size (6-6, 246) and skills made him tough to match up against. Until Tyson Fury that is.

Tyson Fury punches Wladimir Klitschko in the face.

Tyson Fury is 6-9, 257 and has not lost a professional fight. He is 25-0. The parts of the fight I watched weren’t spectacular. 2 huge men in the ring making efforts to punch each other, but Goliath vs Goliath lacked luster. It was like watching giants clinch for 12 rounds.

The most exciting portion of it all is this comment by Fury, “They are cheats, they are extremely good at cheating.” He was referring to the other side making attempts at drugging his water, weighing him in at the wrong weight, and having too much foam in the canvas. Who knows.

By Tom Stortz|2015-11-30T15:26:12-05:00November 30th, 2015|Sports|0 Comments

Sheee – Get Bucked

I haven’t had a fantasy football post in a while because the season is long and results don’t show themselves within the first few weeks. A proper analysis is in order.

You don’t want to see a group of turkeys coming after you in fantasy football.

I’m currently sitting in 1st place in two leagues with a 7-4 record. Both of these positions are vulnerable however. In Evan’s league I’m sitting in 2nd with points but people are breathing down my neck. A week 12 loss / clunker will make me right with the rest of the pack moving into the final week. I’ve been pretty pleased with the position though as I’ve dropped a few key players (who hasnt?) and have been waiver wire scrambling every week. My 40 moves lead the league as always. I’ve been extremely confident in Evan’s league in past years but my team this year is going to squeak by, rather than dominate, its way to the championship. Luck will have to be on my side with Antonio Andrews, Ronnie Hillman, and a new QB every week leading the charge. ODB and Julio were perhaps the best 1-2 you could ask for this year which is why I am where I am.

My team in Steve’s league is an absolute powerhouse. A Brady to Gronk combo has me leading the league in points by 100 to the next closest player. I have Ivory, Martin, J Stew as RBs, and ODB, Cooks, and Allen Hurns as WR’s. Throw in the best D (Panthers) and this is a solid team. I fully expect to win the championship with this squad unless Brady and Gronk go goose egg one week.

The other two leagues at this point are essentially meaningless. Baker’s league and its 25 dollar buy in makes me scan the waiver wire, set a line up, and forget about it. My team is 6-5 and I’m in the hunt. The team is Palmer, Ivory, Decker, Rawls, Gronk, and Cooks at this point. The other league that I’m completely out of is my 10 team, 2 QB league. I’m 3-8 and have little to say about the season other than my team competed but lost games. Peyton Manning and Jeremy Hill were colossal let downs which led to my demise.

I want to close with some input on the free auction bid system which I do believe is the fairest way to do waivers because it requires actual strategy opposed to the worst team getting the best pickup. I was out maneuvered coming into Week 12 and the only person to blame is myself. I put myself in the position with only have 28 FA dollars in a spot where I needed Buck Allen for a championship push. You absolutely, positively need RB’s who get all the carries. No time share BS. Workhorses that can perform. I’m much rather have Antonio Andrews (this may change) than Ronnie Hillman. I know he gets 15-20 carries. Even if he sucks, he’s the right play over someone who might get 5 carries and turn it into 20 points. This is how I feel with James White. I want to play him, but who knows what the Patriots will do.

Back to the FAAB, Adam purposely bid what I had. This meant that there was no way I could get him. Did he do it intentionally? I have no idea but I can’t let myself get in that position. Thomas Rawls is the donk pick up of the week. You save all your free agent dollars for the entire year and blow your load on one player who will be replaced when Lynch comes back. If Lynch doesn’t come back you look like a genius but is Rawls really the reason you spend 20 dollars all season? It’s important to have money at this point in the season but how much is where the strategy comes in? Guaranteed another big name player goes down this week and we’ll have one more spot where you need money. I would have spent my roll on Allen this week but instead have 26 moving into week 12. Don’t forget, there are weeks 13, 14, and hopefully 15 as well. Good luck to all who read my entire thoughts on FAAB. It’s not an aspect of fantasy that should go unnoticed.

It’s cool getting replies from Evan Silva as well.

@rnningfool Can make a good case for Celek over him this week.

— Evan Silva (@evansilva) November 25, 2015

By Tom Stortz|2015-11-25T10:24:28-05:00November 25th, 2015|Sports|0 Comments

Klosterman Inverviews Brady

Chuck Klosterman / Tom Brady

First things first, I’m a bigger Chuck Klosterman fan than Tom Brady fan. Klosterman is witty, a huge sports nut, and his popular culture references are always spot on. Tom Brady is a fine QB who is leading my fantasy team to a 7-3 record and in 1st place for the league. For this I like him. For his team winning games, I’m indifferent.

This interview with Klosterman and Brady is a gold mine. It’s filled with nuggets of why I love Klosterman and why I still will never truly care for Tom Brady.

Without re-copying all of the interview, Tom Brady will not answer the question whether he was “generally aware” of the deflated balls. He won’t answer yes or no. He quite simply says he won’t talk about it.

Klosterman accurately attempts to explain this with:

Deny, Deny, Deny

I strongly suspect the real reason Brady did not want to answer a question about his “general awareness” of Deflategate is pretty uncomplicated: He doesn’t want to keep saying something that isn’t true, nor does he want to directly contradict what he said in the past. I realize that seems like a negative thing to conclude about someone I don’t know. It seems like I’m suggesting that he both cheated and lied, and technically I am.

It’s hard to come up with any other reason for why Brady will not answer the question. I particularly liked this question that Klosterman never got a chance to ask, “Do you now concede some of the balls might have been below the legal limit, even if you had no idea this was happening? Or was the whole thing a total fiction?”

Dude. You did it. You freaking did. You would have 100% said you didn’t have any awareness in this interview if you honestly didn’t have any general awareness. You can’t answer the question because it digs at you deep inside to lie by answering no. Now, do I really care? Not really.

I personally loved the way Klosterman categorized a cheater. “A deficiency of character adds character, somehow. It proves that the cheater cared.” “It’s also what makes Brady different from normal people, and from other quarterbacks: He will do whatever it takes to win, regardless of what that win represents”

People like Brady are playing a different game. They have physical abilities that are superior than ours and they have the gall to work every single angle that’s available for an edge. They are just different.

By Tom Stortz|2015-11-30T11:12:18-05:00November 19th, 2015|Sports|0 Comments

Brett Brown May Suck

The Sixers Suck

Trust me, we can’t get worse.

The talent is anemic. It’s inappropriate to even use the word talent. This team is a dumpster fire right now with 0 chance of improving this year. The Sixers are putting out the worst product in the NBA and this is for the 3rd straight year. Enough is enough, the fans NEED to start protesting.

Is it possible Brett Brown is the problem? His career record is 37-135 for a 20% win percentage. Brian Winters (the coach of the expansion Vancouver Grizzlies in 1995) is the only coach IN NBA HISTORY worse needing 184 games to win 36 games in 3 seasons. To be fair to Brett Brown, over his 3 years, I can only think of 3 players who would start on opposing teams (MCW, Nerlens, and Okafor). Needless to say, this team is a joke.

There comes a time where you have to start winning ball games. The future is just as uncertain as the present. The #3 pick has a foot injury that may never heal. Saric may never play and even if he does, who’s to say he’s any good. This year, he’s averaging 9 points, 6 rebounds, and 2 assists after 6 games playing 28 minutes in a EURO League!!! There is no talent that is going to blossom on the current team. Stauskas is a poor man’s Korver. Wroten and Covington are nice players but they aren’t starters. TJ MCconnell is who is getting hype and he’s a 6-2 WHITE GUY! I’m sorry but what Hinkie is doing isn’t working. I hope that this post gets brought back up to me sometime in the near future and people say, “see, he knows what he’s doing.” I can’t see it though and when a team puts out a shitty product, people shouldn’t buy it.

By Tom Stortz|2015-11-12T09:17:33-05:00November 12th, 2015|Sports|0 Comments