Where Am I?

It is quite rare I go multiple days without a post with no good reason. Fact of the matter is that I’m alive, well, and feeling perfectly fine.

I attended a conference today at the Philadelphia Convention Center called WordCamp. It’s where a bunch of computer geeks get together to learn about WordPress. Considering both this blog and our company’s website use WordPress, it is good information to know. With no background, WordPress means nothing to you but it’s becoming the go to for website design because of the simplistic nature and open source attribute.

Moreover, the people who run our website were in town for this conference and I had good dialogue on our current site and where the future lies. We are making some good changes that involve where the shopping cart is displayed, how the UPS tracking info is sent, and design in general. All good stuff and will set us up well for the future.

The family is spending some time in the Poconoe’s and we have the a fun fantasy football Sunday upcoming. More later.

By Tom Stortz|2016-12-02T16:05:25-05:00December 2nd, 2016|My Life|0 Comments

Life in Bullets

I don’t have any content for a full post on any one topic so I’ll sum up some dumb parts of my life in bullets.

Sam rolled a 599 series last night to lead our team to a 3-1 victory. I had a chance to win game 2 if I turkey’d out but only hit 1 and missed the 2nd. I had no feel for spare pick ups last night but had plenty of strikes to maintain my average. The bowler who had the lowest series had to wear the snake out of the alley. When we were discussing the penalty of the snake hat Jordan said, “good, I’ll never have to wear the snake hat.” Evidence to the right.
I won a few bucks in DraftKings over the weekend but am still down 50 for the season. What’s odd is that I didn’t use any of my resources other than Evan Silva’s matchups and did better than when I use PFF. I also nailed 14 out of 16 in the Pigskin Pick’em to set the high total for the week. Once again using nothing but my huge brain. My huge brain also managed to lose 10 more units on 3 bets which puts me down 30 for the season. Technically 31.5 with juice.
The fantasy football Dynasty league is shaping up for a 3 way dog fight for the 6th playoff spot. It’s unfortunate it’s against people I like (Bud and Sam). I have the highest projection of the week and am looking to kill Adam by more than 20. I need to beat Sam by 22 and have Bud lose. I’d put my chances of getting in at about 25%. So you’re saying there’s a chance.

My Amazon Results

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-29T15:36:56-05:00November 29th, 2016|My Life|0 Comments

Upper Dublin High School Reunion – Class of 2001

On Saturday night I went to my High School Reunion at Gypsy Blu in Ambler. There were about 40 of so past class members that showed up and everyone had an excellent time. It struck me as odd that not that many people want to go to their High School Reunion due to social anxiety. My take is, “who really gives a shit?” People seem to be scared of who they are and what people may think of them. Like re-living high school all over again. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience catching up with people who I haven’t seen in 15 years.

It’s cool to have conversations with people who are the same age and lived during the same period of time you did. We all have the same types of life problems now and it was fun catching up. I noticed it was even easier talking to people who you never used to talk to before. Plus you get to re-visit memories that you would have never thought about if that person wasn’t there. Another main reason was because I know there were people who spent time planning it and it didn’t feel right not to show up.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-28T15:48:57-05:00November 28th, 2016|My Life|0 Comments

The Day After Thanksgiving

For an inexplicable reason, these are tough days for me. I didn’t go to work and have the day to do whatever I please. I awoke at around 9 after a pretty fun Thanksgiving that involved a nice family dinner, some bowling afterwards, and then some madness to conclude (mostly just Weens hitting a million to 1 shot in the driveway).

I went home and watched a Sons of Anarchy episode, played a few games of chess, and then went for a run. It’s now 3:53 pm and I don’t know what to do with myself. Should I watch more TV? Find an activity? Do nothing? You’d think this wouldn’t be a problem but it is a bit. Here’s Iceland.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-25T16:02:45-05:00November 25th, 2016|My Life|1 Comment

Sean Coyne Music

My blog has never contained ads and never will. However, every so often I feel the urge to promote entertainment I enjoy.

My friend, Sean Coyne, is a one man show who has recently started playing gigs around Philadelphia. Last night he played The American Pub at 1500 and Market. I’m told he’ll be playing there twice a month for the conceivable future.

Sean plays a wide array of music ranging from Hendrix, to Phish, to even Justin Bieber’s Sorry. He also mixes in a few originals that sound pretty tight which I imagine isn’t easy to play in front of a crowd. You can hear his songs on his website, Sean Coyne Music.

I’m not a music critic but I know Sean’s a talented musician. He played a 2 hour set and at no point was I thinking to myself, “Oh Jeez, get this guy off the stage.”

I’m writing this post more about the journey. If it wasn’t for Colleen, his wife, Sean wouldn’t be playing in front of an audience. She acts as Sean’s manager and her confidence in him pushes his envelope. What interests me is that at this point in time Sean is very self aware of his act. Are people enjoying this? Am I playing too loud? Did anyone catch me miss that note?

My feeling is that once he pushes past this lack of confidence, he’ll start opening up his potential on stage which will improve the performance. The people are there to enjoy the experience, not critique it. Not yet anyway. It’s cool to see a guy who has been playing music for his life to branch out and try to take it to the next level. I know this blog doesn’t reach a huge number of people but the more people that come to see him play, the faster a musician develops.

I’ve only known Sean for a few years but I know a talented person when I see one and his mind is exceptional. His motivation may not always be in full gear but that’s where Colleen comes in. Hopefully this post will also let him know that there are people who believe in his abilities. Keep shredding it up there.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-23T11:31:27-05:00November 23rd, 2016|My Life|0 Comments

A Day Off

What do you do at work?

Despite what you may think, I don’t take many days off from work. I’m pleasantly surprised to alert you that today is an off day. I woke up at normal time, put air in my tires, got my car cleaned, purchased some random shit from Target, and am now writing a blog post. Why am I taking the day off? I’ll be heading to AC to gamble away my life savings. All in on red.

All has been going quite well I might add. The bowling team had a 4-0 sweep against the top scoring average team as the Weens beasted a 660 something series. I also put up a 550+ series at Hi Spots which is by far my best to date at that house. I haven’t been betting on sports which I can say I hardly miss. My fantasy teams have all gone to shit and I’m about ready to throw in the towel on a lackluster season. That’s the breaks.

I’ve also been happy with this website. I direct your attention to Boner Material and these pages. I personally think they’re tremendous and it demonstrates the ability to create pages that work well together using sliders. Obviously it’s not my proudest achievement that I have to use female celebrities to attract attention but there’s a bigger picture behind the work. I just don’t know what it is. NSFW.

That’s a quick life update but it’s all trending in the right direction.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-18T09:39:35-05:00November 18th, 2016|My Life|0 Comments

E-A-G-L-E-S

Steve was gracious enough to invite me to the Eagles game on Sunday and it was too good an opportunity to pass up. The weather was absolutely perfect football weather and the birds actually won. We did some tailgating prior to the game but nothing out of control.

I’m not a die-hard Eagles fan but I do understand why some people get so hyped for the games. The atmosphere is electric when the team is playing well. Our seats were fairly high up but you have no problem seeing the whole game. I’d probably not want to go as badly if I was at one of the end zones. That being said, I had a good time and it’s a nice change of pace from watching Red Zone for 7 hours.

While still on the football topic, I’ve pretty much thrown in the towel until I get my mojo back. I’m down $200 in betting and $80 in draftkings. Over the course of 10 weeks it’s not tragic but I’m pretty much up shit’s creek without a paddle. My pick em’s are going to shit and my enthusiasm is waning. I’m using a combination of intellect and guesswork and missing the mark by a large margin. This too shall pass.

I’m in the same shitty boat in fantasy with the Wild Turkey’s being eliminated from contention this week. I dropped Ryan Mathews last week and that’s some decent symbolism of how my season has been going. I’m zigging when I should be zagging. I also suffered two losses in the other leagues which have me battling for the playoffs.

Bowling tonight. Keep it together Buster and spin this back around.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-14T11:38:47-05:00November 14th, 2016|My Life|0 Comments

Stortz Tool’s #1 Employee

I present to you a Swingline Stapler. Some background:

The Model 27 Swingline Stapler was introduced in 1952 and “Improved” in 1954. I recall seeing these quite often at school growing up – not as omnipresent as the crinkle-grey boxy 1940’s Bostitches that permeated my childhood institutional memories, but still often enough that I remember them.

This Stapler is the oldest existing Stortz Tool employee. It sits on my desk and gets used on a daily basis stapling together sheets of paper like it was meant to do. I would say it’s a rarity to find a piece of equipment that works just as well now as it did when it was produced 60+ years ago. Here’s to another lifetime!

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-11T13:37:59-05:00November 11th, 2016|My Life|1 Comment

Election Day 11/8/16

Strictly Megan Fox filler

I woke up at 2:30 am and couldn’t get back to sleep. This rarely happens. At 3, I decided to update the running log which I will be updating weekly. Next I wrote a post on why the Sixers suck but decided against posting it until I iron out the exact point I’m trying to get across. I tried going back to sleep around 4 but was tossing and turning so I decided to start the day. Classic JC move.

It’s 5:45 now and I made a drastic pivot from a Sesame Seed bagel to a Cinnamon Raisin. Bring in the new regime. The WSJ was also delivered so I’ll get a chance to do the crossword as well. I almost finished it to completion yesterday for the first time without any help. The bottom left stuck me especially “mischievous type.” It was rascal.

With election day upon us it’s appropriate to address the fundamental problem with this country and that’s the divide. No matter who wins, someone is going to be upset. Although this is the case with most elections, for some reason or another this year seems especially tumultuous. I won’t be upset either way as I’m mostly a lemming when it comes to politics. You can bet your bottom dollar though that I’m not venturing outside of my house or work once the decision is made. One of the primary skills of being a human is survival and I’m not taking my chances with the yahoos when whoever is elected. My thought is that the rest of the world would like to see Hillary win (as well as women and Hispanics) but the white men not in power want to see Trump. Good luck America.

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-08T06:02:03-05:00November 8th, 2016|My Life|0 Comments

Keep (or Start) Reading This Blog

Pleasing the Audience

Goddamn Fruit Berry Punch.

I’m sitting here at 10:18 eating a Cinnamon Pop Tart and drinking a Fruit Berry Punch Gatorade. I really hate the Fruit Berry Punch because it makes my lips really red. I’ve written to Gatorade before to tell them to change the 3rd flavor in the X-Factor 24 pack but to no avail.

If you’ve read the title in the post, and then the larger than the title sub-title, you’ll ask why I’m trying to please my audience? Valid question that I’m sure you wouldn’t ask because you didn’t read it. I think I can do better.

No more writing about running (because I’m out of shape), betting (I’m out of money), and bowling (the team is 1-7 in our last 8 games because I can’t carry all this dead weight). Weens gave me permission to write that quip about bowling.

That being said, people like relating to people and I will make a better effort to do so. I want to open this post up to a few highlights of why you should continue reading my blog.

Blog Highlights

0 Readers
0 Quality Content
0 Future Ideas
New Lightning Bolt Checklist Icons

Real Blog Highlights

Those lightning bolts were pretty kick ass, right? Let’s move to more conventional bullets so that you can now tell I’m being serious.

More Theme Options – The more I use this new theme the better I get with design. I’m still a far cry from sliders and a really “professional” feel but this will come.
Organization – I’ve almost organized all of my posts from 2009 and put each post in a category. Would you believe I’ve written over 2,600 posts in 6 years? There is so much garbage that I have a much better feeling of what not to do (which is what I’ve been doing).
Where else is Embiid going to be dunking a Baconator?

Photoshop – I’ve been learning Photoshop for the past 3 years and I can say that I’m pretty proficient at this point. I haven’t been spending much time with it but I’ll be putting in more time coming up with better images. Next stop, Gif creation.
I Care – Most of the time my content sucks. Every so often I’ll have a post that is worth reading but most off it’s poop. I’m going to make an effort to produce less poop. I’m sure I’ve written that before but this time I mean it.
Will I Develop a Theme? – If you’ve read to this bullet point you probably have absolutely noting better to do in your life right now. You probably know me from years past or stumbled upon this page by accident. There is no point for you to care about what I write about because there is no theme. It’s useless drivel that unless you know me or see me personally, you won’t care. I have a feeling though that this will change.

WORK PEAKS AT 33% @ 11am!! 96% Are Asleep at 3am!

By Tom Stortz|2016-11-01T23:14:52-04:00November 1st, 2016|My Life|2 Comments