One of my challenges in life to become a well-rounded individual.  One trick pony’s don’t survive.  Darwin’s theory of evolution stems from adapting and having many different skills.  As such, I try to learn as many different ways of testing myself as possible.  Here are a few of the new ones I’ve picked up and old ones I maintain.

Jack of All Trades

Sudoku – I picked up this number puzzle game and get increasingly frustrated playing.  I’ve beaten a medium board in under 9 minutes which is my current best but I often sit for minutes making 0 moves and then turning it off.  It seems to stimulate the mind but gets tiresome because the game isn’t very dynamic.  It’s also a puzzle that no one gives a shit about.

Bowling – I got my first personal bowling bowl this past Monday which is the first step to becoming a better bowler.  Bowling with house balls is fine but you don’t clean a house ball.  I explained this to the Shee but using a towel on a house ball is ruining a rag.  Your own ball that’s weighted for better back end action into the pocket is the way to go.  I’ve only bowled in one league and finished with a 150 average but I think I could get around 180 with some work.  Plus I enjoy the laid back nature of the game.

Find a prettier hole. You can’t.

Golf – I actually find golf to be the most fun game to play.  Being outside and testing shots where the swing stays the same but the landscape changes is fun.  Hand eye coordination is key and your game can always improve.  My biggest problem, completely personal, is that I mostly play golf on weekends.  Most weekend nights I spend drinking alcohol and when I wake up hung over, I’m not going to play my best golf.  So I’m in a constant struggle to play golf feeling my best and it doesn’t happen as often as it should.  By far my favorite game to relax too while drinking some cold ones.

I don’t remember this part but I’m guessing Bella gets it.

Chess – I will not rise up the chess rankings.  I’ve stalled at a 1200 ranking about 3 times in my life and have no desire to improve.  Slight work like learning a few more openings and knowing when to play a certain one against another is all it takes.  My creativity with the game is pretty high but it gets me in trouble often.  I honestly can find about 0 people who would play me in a game of chess aside from strangers.

Basketball – I enjoy the game because of the physical nature.  I’ve been playing basketball since I was in kindergarten and know the subtleties to boxing out and PASSING which is a lost art.  Being in good shape is also a huge advantage because the game involves constant motion.  I’ve lost my touch for the game because I don’t play that often but can still play D and rebound effectively.

I fire a fastball

Beer Pong – A game that gets very little love as a skill game.  I get a charge from being on a team that ends the game on 2 back to back cups.  Any dope can’t just fire at the last cup.  I’m not a fan of 10 cup, “he’s on fire”, more than 1 re-rack, sidecar, or any part of the game that is straight up stupid.   This is a fun game though as long as people drink their beer.  Try making cups after winning 10 games straight.  The bell curve is 100% in effect for beer pong.

How I play 1-2

Poker – I’ll still play some 1-2 and the occasional tournament but the bottom line is I’m rusty.  I have no intention of grinding out cash games to make a few hundred bucks and my tournament game is such a far cry from where I was when I’d play 100 tournys a week online.   My feel for the game is better than your average player and I’m not afraid to stick my money in the middle but I usually drink when I play and that leads to volatility which I’ve been on the wrong end of in recent memory.

Baseball – I’m putting baseball last because I’m fine if I never play it ever again.  This sport is on the decline because it sucks.  The hitting aspect is ordinary and fielding really isn’t that much fun.  I also hate when you make a mistake in the field and everyone knows it was you and you just cost your team the entire game for messing up one simple play.

Yesterday I removed myself from the Periscope world and actually experienced the real world.  It was the first time I’ve done Sips in about a month.  At around 4pm my phone started getting some requests of what was going on and a plan sprung into action.

I met up with Evan & Laura at the Comcast Center.  Julia was also there and then Adam and Amy showed up as well.  We shot the shit for a while then met up with Big Steve at the “top of the tower” which I’ve never been to.  You go up 51 levels and then wait in a line to go outside which led to a roof deck where I shot the picture you see of the ants at the Comcast Center.

After that we went to the Wrap Shack which was serving $5 Mad Elf which is the steal of a century.  We were joined by a few other people and called it a night around 9pm.  This was a far superior plan when compared to partying until 1am on a Wednesday night.  I woke up slightly less than 100% but feel fine now.

There were many periscoping opportunities but the blacked out hot girl whipping and Nae Nae’ing all over the place would have received the most.  While were on the Periscope topic, I can’t stand someone who would stand there and periscope James Taylor from the front row.  Is this person actually watching Sweet Baby James through the phone?  This has to stop.

I live on a block of row houses. I found this invitation slid under my door yesterday.

Prying replies to the questions from an uncooperative Viet Cong suspect, First Air Cavalrymen and a Vietnamese interpreter attached to the American unit lay a towel over the suspect’s face and then pour water on it.

My street probably has about 20 houses lined up and down. I expect this was slid under every door as a way to “get to know” the neighborhood. I saw the home owner securing his postal numbers to his house and as I walked by he was introducing himself to his next door neighbor and shouting to his wife to “come meet the neighbor.”

I’m well aware this is done with the best intentions but there is exactly a 0% chance that I attend this for the following reasons:

What I’ll end up doing on Friday night.

1. This isn’t a fun person’s block. These are people who have lived there for 20 years who I have exactly 0 in common with.
2. Sitting in a room with 15 people from my neighborhood couldn’t be more awkward. “So, how do you like your house.” “So, where do you work.” “So, uhhhhhhhh.” Snooze city.
3. This invitation gives no indication of a fun time.  If they added, “there will be a keg”, now you have my attention.  The invitation gives the impression that it’s going to suck.

Am I off base here?  Would you go to this?

90% of my 478 friends are millionaires who spend the summer in exotic locations.  At least that’s what my Facebook feed would expect me to believe.  My blood boils as I see all these people having fun and I spend day after day in the heat slaving away.  As a self proprietor, when you don’t work, your business stops working and that’s unacceptable.  This essentially leads to zero vacation days and when you actually do take off, a feeling of guilt overtakes your body that you can’t even enjoy the time off because the work just builds.  I’m exaggerating but not really.

Aside from my complaining, there’s actually ton of neat stuff going on that is worth mentioning but not worthy of an entire blog post.

• The 2nd Season of True Detective is mind blowingly slow and is only now starting to heat up with Colin Farrell about ready to lay into Vince Vaughn.
• Ray Donovan is still entertaining mainly because of Jon Voight.  Connor banging the mattress is (lack of descriptive term).
• Donald Trump insulting John McCain and winning because of it.  This guy can do no wrong even when he tries.
• Still sad Louie lost.  This was a crippling blow to my morale.
• Researching fantasy football already.  I’m back to passing on ODB.
• This guy hating fat people.

Dock Side Pizza

It’s not often, although becoming more so, that I don’t go out on a Saturday night.  However, yesterday was my mom’s birthday and we went out for a lunch at the Dock Side Brewing Company in West Philly.  We had a few beers at lunch and then I watched the USA – Cuba Concacaf match with Brookes and Laura.  I probably had about 8 beers on the day and wasn’t drunk as much as I was tired.  I went home, had a sleep (FoTC), and when I woke up it was 8:30.  I could have had a few more beers with friends but just decided to call it a night.

I woke up today at 7am Sunday and started watching the Open and realized that I have the entire day ahead of me.  Normally I go to sleep at 2am and don’t wake until 12pm.  Today it’s like I have 5 hours that I much prefer over the 10pm – 2 am hours.  These are what I’d like to call productivity hours.

When’s the last time I wrote a Sunday blog post at 7:47 am?  It just doesn’t happen.  Plus I’m feeling good and will go for a run, play some golf, go swimming, and watch some golf all in a day’s work.  Combine that with the idea that I’ll feel like a normal person on a Monday and it all comes together.

The title is the getting older Weekend song and I just went through the weekend so I figured it would be fitting but it actually just doesn’t make sense because I can feel my face.

2 shots on the green on #10

I haven’t posted in a few days but know that I’m not pulling a Gourlay, I’ve just been busy.  I played golf on Friday with Hetrick and Hafer which was a lot of fun.  One memorable shot was Big Dawg and myself both driving the 248 yard par 4.  I ended up shooting an 88 at Paxon Hollow.

I was pretty hungover on Sunday for a round at Lederach so I didn’t play my best duffing at least 4 shots and missing a 2 footer.  I finished at 94 from the blues.  I’m playing pretty well though so I still have high expectations for the golf season.

Justin and Celeste’s wedding was on Saturday and it was a fun time had by all.  There are pictures all over Facebook but I’m pretty sure the one below is the only one I’m in. I should be back to regular posting starting tonight when I get some time.

The fellas. #jkc2015

A photo posted by Col (@colgarv) on Jun 27, 2015 at 5:54pm PDT

I could see how this title may be portrayed as a plea for help but it’s more like asking to a group of people how much they are going to care about the events of my actual life, which is what I’ll be posting about.

We had a bball game last night and our team is in shambles.  We had 7 people and 2 subs sign up and haven’t had more than 6 for a game.  Our 6-6 center hurt his knee so he won’t be back for a while.  Our point guard broke his ankle so he’s out.  Another sub can’t play until the end of June and another sub just refuses to play.  We picked up Mugesy as a last minute addition to the team which at least allows us to play in the games.

We were 1-1 coming into last night with one close loss and a blow out win.  Last night we opened up a 13-1, unexpected, lead.  The other team cut it to 2 at half time.  As the game wound down I had a 3 point play opportunity to put us up 1 with a minute left to play.  I missed the FT to put us in the lead and as only this clip could show, “C’mon, Larry, it was one shot.”

The other team scored on the ensuing play setting up a chance to tie it with 15 seconds left but we never got the shot. Mugsey stepped over the line throwing the ball in and we had to foul to essentially end the game. I think Jeff had about 30.

Sips is tonight so that’ll be some material for tomorrow.  Jeff has moved out so I’m an empty nester now. My house is nice and cool on the bottom floors but the top is hot which has me sweating at night. I’m considering buying an A/C unit but I think I’ll just sweat it out. I’ve also been watching House of Cards which will consume some time because it’s a pretty addicting show. True Detective this Sunday which is a show to look forward to.

Hilarious this is Barstool’s picture but this is exactly what it looks like at the Comcast Center

Last night was the first night of Center City Sips.  Sips PROCLAIMS that bars participate and offer specials between the hours of 5-7.  Some do and some don’t.  However, these short-lived 2 hours are a major deal to girls who get more dolled up than if they were going to prom.

I’m a moron for not taking a picture of the Comcast Center and the crowd it draws at 5pm.  The line to get in is about 50 people deep and drink lines are just as bad. My own picture would add to this post immensely and instead I’m just a worse writer who puts in far more effort than Gourlay.  Either way, Sips is an event that is worth participating in if you never have.

There is one downside though and that it’s an expensive Wednesday night any way you slice it.  Here are my exact expenditures.

• $12 cab from my house
• $8 on 2 Bud Heavys ($3+ $1 each tip)
• $20 dinner at Marathon ($5 Whiskey – Tea drink + $12 Sampler + Tip)
• $20 @ Vesper (2 Avery IPA’s for $7 ea and I threw in $20 because it was a group tab)
• $26 @ Howl at the Moon (3 Perpetual IPA’s.  Each one is $7.  I tipped $1 to the bro bartender, $1 to this hot girl and then $3 to the same hot girl).
• $15 cab back to my house where another cab driver told me a sob story how he doesn’t make enough money.

Total – $101 on a Wednesday night where I didn’t even get black out drunk.  Welcome to Center City Sips

Shout out to Mugsey and Evan who hung out until 11pm like old people do.  I also will share a drunk text that I wouldn’t share to anybody when I’m sober.

Aaron Dodgers going late this year in the draft.  Disappointing I know.  I also think it’s hysterical when people take screenshots of their phone when there is 2% and someone comments that it’s comparable to Kramer and gas.  I have no idea what the Northwest corner is.

I’ll also share a funny story if you managed to read this far. JC just asked me if the font on “the blog” is the way it’s supposed to be (I honestly had 0 idea what he was talking about as the font looked like the font to me). I said, “That’s the home page”. He said, “Whatever it is.” I said, “I wouldn’t call the phone the stapler.”