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About Tom Stortz

Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.

The Unwatchable

Tiger Woods Golf Round

Weird finish.

It’s great to see Tiger back in action. He played in an invite earlier in the year but this would be considered the first “official” round for ’17. Torrey Pines is rated as the 8th hardest course the PGA plays on golf.com. It’s a bit confusing to me but I assume there is a North and South Course which the golfers rotate on day 1 and 2. Nevertheless, Tiger is jumping into the swing of it in full. He fired off an opening round +4 and couldn’t find the fairway. His follow through is weird looking and he is all over the place, it’s almost cringe worthy at times. Tiger is obviously not in final form but this crude Tiger will not be making a lot of cuts unless he starts hitting fairways and cures that follow through.

Workaholics

It’s possible I’m making a conclusion too early but season 7 should not have been produced. The boys, now men, have had it. Watching Adam at the age of 33 performing college hi jinks doesn’t do it for me. This show was charming when you could relate to guys in their 20’s smoking weed and drinking beer, but now it’s forced. It’s like, “the fans want the show, we don’t really want to do it, but they’re giving us a shit ton of money so we should suck it up and do it.” I also think that the actors of found more mainstream success and that has detracted them from the origins of this show. I watched the first 10 minutes of the 3rd episode of the 7th season and had to turn it off. The same jokes being repeated for years and years have run their course.

Rafa Nadal’s Grunting

The match between Rafa Nadal an Grigor Dimitrov is currently in the 3rd set tie-break as I type this. I’m not a huge tennis fan but I enjoy watching two people hit a ball over the net thousands of times when it gets to the end of big tournaments. The ageless Roger Federer has reached the finals and this match will produce who he plays. I pray to God its Dimitrov. On every single shot, Rafa grunts. I understand his right to grunt, but does this help him hit the ball harder? For me it’s distracting. I would tweet at him but he’s already in the match and I don’t think he’s checking his twitter. Perhaps it’s selfish of me to ask for such a request but I can’t watch him play.

By |2017-01-27T06:52:33-05:00January 27th, 2017|My Brain|0 Comments

My European Trip – Lucerne & Mt Titlis – Day 2

Where is this in America?

Intro         Day 1, Zurich

I woke up early on Wednesday to get a complementary breakfast that I paid for at the Hotel Adler. When talking to the staff who asked me “word, word, Kaffee, word, word”, I used my go to “Mein Deutsche ist Schlecht,” which inevitably has the European person saying, “it’s ok, I speak English.” There were no eggs for this free meal and they wanted to charge 7 Euro which I declined. I decided to eat a shit ton of bread, a hard boiled egg, and some multi vitamin juice. Everyone, literally everyone, says “morgen” when they greet you.

My tour was today so I dressed in my warmest gear which included two pair of socks, long underwear pants and shirt, jeans, sweatshirt, and my jacket. I walked over to the HBF to buy a train ticket to Innsbruck, Austria which cost about 100 Euro for the next day. I wandered over to the bus station where I got on the bus and awaited for the tour to begin.

Selfie with the Lucerne dying lion.

We set off to see the city of Lucerne, Switzerland which is about an hour away from Zurich. It was freezing cold. We arrived in Lucerne and saw the dying lion which was about 30 ft wide and incredibly detailed stone work. You can read more here. We were given some free time to walk around and Lucerne was a truly beautiful city. I also spent a few Franc and bought a Swiss pocket knife in the white color, which is exclusive to Switzerland.

After Lucerne we traveled another 30 minutes to Mt Titlus. I got in a cable car with 2 gentlemen from India and fully expected them to be able to talk which each other. As such, they both spoke broken English because there are 1,000 dialects of Hindi (I’m guessing on that one). We arrived to the top of Mt Titlus and rode a lift chair around the mountain. I struck up a conversation with a girl who was from Austin and on a Euro trip for the past 6 weeks. I also met this Australian bro who was on a complete bender and said he was partying at the hostel until 5 in the morning last night. The Indian guy I met was hilarious as well. I asked him to take a picture of me and this is what he took:

There was a cool suspension bridge that led to the best shot of the Alps that you can see. The $150 I paid for the tour was worth 10x that for the views. Truly unbelievable mother nature. After this I met another Indian dude who was once a lawyer and was now a pastor. He was telling me how Americans don’t believe in God because they are wealthy and have few needs, whereas people in India all need God because they are poor.

Video of the Top Across the Suspension Bridge

We headed back to Zurich and I made one bone head move. I should have asked the girl from the US what she was doing after, because I had zero plans and I imagine she was in the same boat. It wasn’t even so much that I wanted to bang her as it felt like my social obligation as an American. Oh well. I ended up going back to the hotel and fell asleep at about 10pm. Once again I awoke at 1am and tossed and turned through the night. My train the next day was scheduled for 7am so I had to get up early. Next city, Innsbruck.

By |2017-01-27T06:53:28-05:00January 26th, 2017|My Life|1 Comment

My European Trip: Zurich, Switzerland – Day 1

Pretty sure these colorful bills are for Monopoly

Without getting much sleep on the plane, I knew it was going to be a long day. I got into the Zurich Airport at around 8 am and had no issues clearing customs or getting my bag. I knew that Switzerland used the Franc and I would have to exchange some Euros for it. I swapped out 200 Euro figuring I’d need it to eat and get around.

My first unusual encounter began immediately with getting on a train to Zurich Main Station. In German, Hauptbahnof means main station and is designated by HBF. I went up to the Kiosk with a line behind me and must have missed the English translation button and purchased a random ticket to a random destination for a few Franc. I boarded a train heading in the right direction and fortunately it didn’t matter as the airport is about 5 minutes away from the main station and no one asked me for a ticket.

Hotel Adler

When I got off it was cold. Not like regular cold, but cold where if I didn’t have gloves on, my hands would start numbing. I used Google Maps and walked to my hotel. Another tip to travelers is not to waste your phone battery on long flights. Google Maps is the easiest way to find a hotel without relying on other people. The Hotel Adler allowed me to check in early and I got showered and cleaned up before I began to tour the city. The accommodation was small for $125 a night but modern and clean. I give a 5 star rating to the Hotel Adler for their professionalism and service. The shower also had a door instead of…nothing. If you’ve been to Europe, you know the shower I’m talking about.

I decided to walk around a bit to get my bearings and managed to head right back to the HBF. Near this location is the Bahnhofstrasse which is one of the most exclusive shopping destinations of Europe. What I sort of understood, but didn’t really get, is that Switzerland is one of the richest and most expensive cities in the world. Near the HBF was the National History Museum which I toured and was not that impressed. I then went to the Fifa Museum which was completely overpriced (24 Euro) for the 45 minutes that I stretched. Gourlay and Brookes would have died and gone to heaven. Argentina is ranked 1 in the world and USA is Here is a short clip of some jerseys.

I ate a Bavarian Pretzel with some salami off a street vendor which was delicious. I imagine this took me to around 1pm and I hadn’t slept in over 30 hours so I decided to go back to hotel to re-charge the phone and take a nap. I got up at about 3pm and put all my winter gear on for another venture out in the cold. I went to the Zurich art museum which was interesting to say the least. I know very little about art but without a question, Pablo Picasso and Monet paint the most impressive pieces.

After that I ate a Currywurst from a vendor near the HBF and kept wandering around. I eventually found the Lindenhofplatz, and the University of Zurich, which produced some beautiful pictures.

I was still beat from the day and called it a night relatively early around 9pm. I watched some TV, lot of Storage Wars and Pawn Stars are on, and fell asleep. Unfortunately for me I woke up at around midnight and tossed and turned until around 3am due to the weird schedule. My initial impressions of Zurich was that it’s clean, expensive, fit, and nice to live in.

By |2017-01-25T17:27:14-05:00January 25th, 2017|My Life|2 Comments

An Intermittent Exercise & Wisdom Update

Being up early today has its advantages. I was able to write the first post in my series, draft the 2nd, and also get 5 miles in before 7am. Dave Gildea was somehow commenting on my posts at 5:30am which I’ll write about in a bit.

I first want to address not exercising for 9 days. I need to go to the gym for some menial lifting and active cardio because it’s become a part of my ethos. Not sure if I used that word correctly. I decided not to bring my work out clothes to Europe for 2 reasons: 1) It was cold 2) Carrying around sweaty clothes in a suit case is nasty. It was a tough decision but I made the right one.

That being said, I returned to the gym today for the first time in 9 days and felt out of shape. I managed 5 miles in 30 minutes (sick brag) which is good for the normal human being but off from the sub 29 that I was doing 9 days ago. I don’t doubt that I can get back to where I was quickly, but this was one part I missed about being away. I’ll add that I would have thoroughly enjoyed going for runs throughout some of the parts of Europe I was in.

Addressing Dave Gildea’s comment, “this picture, anti-click bait” on my blog link where I posted my ugly mug (not the one to the right). I know that Dave works for a Fortune 500 company and probably has vast experience in marketing, so I’m sure I’m not telling him any info he isn’t acutely aware of. During my trip I posted about 10 pictures on Instagram. Most were of pictures I thought would be nice seeing to someone who has never seen the area. I have about 135 followers and my most liked picture was a selfie I took in the mountains. Actually the most liked was a picture I took of Zurich but the selfie to the right was the 2nd most. Which leads me to believe a few thoughts on what people like:

  • People like people. We all know everyone is selfish and only cares about themselves. When you post a picture of yourself, people who know you are genuinely interested to see how you’ve aged. They take notice if you’re fat, balding, uglier, and all the worse qualities to make themselves feel better.
  • They don’t like boring. If a picture is a beautiful picture of nature, they won’t care. There has to be wild colors, a magical effect, or some unique attribute to make it worth “liking”.

So, Dave, there you go. The anti-click bait is once again…click bait.

 

By |2017-01-25T08:14:39-05:00January 25th, 2017|My Brain|4 Comments

My European Trip: USA!

Back in the USA

It’s 4:05am and I decided that now is as good a time as any to start writing about my 8 day adventure to Europe. I arrived down in Philly at 6:30pm yesterday which was closer to 12:30am from the time zone I came from. When I got back to my house, I threw my dirty clothes in the washer, watched some Sixers, and went to sleep at 8:30pm which is why I’m writing at such a bizarre hour.

I want to organize the trip into about 5 or 6 different posts highlighting each of the cities I went to. I generally try to write with the reader in mind, but this will be more for my mental memory of the trip when I think back to it. So if you don’t like it, get the fuck out.

1/16/17

Martin Luther King Day was my unintended day to travel. I had packed the night before and was only putting on the finishing touches in the morning. A few tips I learned from previous trips:

  • You need this.

    Bring band aids (I walk around a ton and a sore on an ankle can be devastating as I’ll write about)

  • Bring an extra contact case & toothbrush (The cleaning service lost both my toothbrush and contact case last time and made it challenging to replace when traveling)
  • Remember the European charger adapter

Things I forgot to bring:

  • Shampoo
  • Mouthwash
  • Enough deodorant

I know these sound stupid but these minor steps in preparation can solve major issues. I went to work for a few hours where I made the intelligent decision to book a few tours through the Trip Advisor sister site, Viator. I chose a tour of a mountain in Switzerland and a Hofbrauhaus beer tour in Munich. I left there and came back to my place to take a shit. I immediately regretted it because then I had to shower after. I wasn’t going to spend 8+ hours traveling without feeling like a fully clean human being.

Red rocks near Vegas

Jeff and I drove to the airport. I checked in my sole bag and went through security with ease. I had two of the bigger Hop Devils and one of the worst wraps ever prepared at Chickie & Pete’s. I boarded the plane to JFK and was sat next to an older gentleman. I can’t remember how we got to talking but it turned out he was a botanist and a professor for a small school in Utah. I had re-read the 7 habits of Highly Effective People and Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, so I was happy to put these practices to the test. We talked for the entire 30 minute ride about the places he’s visited and how different wildlife grows in various areas. Not my specialty, but he said I could call him anytime and he’d show me around Red Rocks of the Vegas area. The sickos probably envision this as a queer meetup but it was purely being friendly.

I got off the short connection to JFK and went to Buffalo Wild Wings where I had a few wings and 2 more beers. I boarded the plane to Zurich, Switzerland and was off on my trip. Not too many people were on the flight which is nice. I got to watch Neighbors 2 (not very good) and was unsuccessful getting any sleep as I was to arrive at 8am to Zurich, which is when I would normally be going to sleep. People do this.

Didn’t move for 8 hours. Probably still there.

By |2017-01-25T04:41:26-05:00January 25th, 2017|My Life|4 Comments

Auf Weidersen USA

Tomorrow I’ll be headed to Zurich, Switzerland to begin a European adventure. I feel the same type of anxiety as I have on previous trips which shows the feeling never goes away completely. It stems from the idea of going to a place where you don’t speak the language and having to navigate all by your lonesome. Trains in different languages. Ordering food like an idiot. Looking at people like they are from Mars when they talk to you. Fortunately you get used to it to a certain extent and there are English speaking people along the way.

I’m feeling pretty good which is important. I took 4 shits today and my system is clean as a whistle. I ate a salad and some fruit for nourishment which is a bit different than usual. My brain is working and I still have to pack but it should be too long. I also cleaned my entire house which I like to do before I go away so I come back and it’s like a full reset. The blog will be updated on 1/25/17. Until then you don’t have to come to this site because it won’t be updated but if you want to follow me on Snapchat, I’ll be snapping. Rnningfool is the name.

I’m too late to make a football post but I’ll be taking the Packers +4 and most likely the Chiefs. It really depends on how the first game goes and if I like my reads or if I have to pivot off of what I think. Sorry for the Seahawks pick last night.

I’ll be missing some important bowling weeks (and Winter Jam today) but I have full confidence in the squad to pick up my slack. I’m probably the only one who is over-achieving anyway so we might even be better. Viel Gluck.

By |2017-01-15T16:24:56-05:00January 15th, 2017|My Life|0 Comments

200 to 2k Update

I’m currently sitting at exactly even after the first round of the playoffs after a 50 dollar loss on the under of the Alabama – Clemson game. To make matters worse, I was sitting in first place in the College Bowl Mania Pick Em, had the last game for the most points, knew the two people behind me were going to take Clemson, and I failed to make the switch and lost 150 because of it. Bad management.

Falcons / Seahawks

Remember the name Paul Richardson for next year.

Already kicking myself for waiting too long to jump on this line. When I first looked I saw the Falcons were giving 4. This struck me as a fairly large number but if you’ve read my previous posts, you’d know that I believe the Falcons are a Super Bowl contender this year. The line has since moved to 6 and I don’t see this as an obvious choice. Everyone knows the Seahawks are better at home and only 3-4-1 this year on the road. In the meeting this year at Seattle, they edged the Falcons 26-24 with Matty Ice throwing 3 TD’s to 0 INT’s. Julio had a big game as the Seahawks stopped the run completely. I expect more of the same from the Falcons in this meeting at the Georgia Dome. SOOOOO, where does that leave me?

I think the Falcons win the game and the Seahawks cover. 6 points is too many points to lay to the dangerous Seahawks. I know their defense is banged up but they have emerging offensive talents with Rawls, Baldwin, and the came out of left field Paul Richardson. I think their D is still solid enough but I could certainly be wrong if they get beaten early like the Steelers did to the Dolphins. Read that last line again. Do you really think this will happen to the Seahawks? I do not.

Patriots / Texans

  • The person who saved this picture titled it “biggaytom”

  • Get the likes ready Rob.
  • There have only been 3 games in the past 30 years that have had a higher point spread than 16.
  • The Patriots were 13-3 this year ATS.
  • The Texans were 2-6 on the road this year.
  • The Patriots have not given up a rushing TD since week 8.
  • If you bet the Belichick Patriots from the moment he was hired, you’d be 170-125-8 against the spread (about 57.6 percent)
  • “The historic 16-point opener was quickly bet down (by professionals),” Scott Cooley, BookMaker’s odds consultant, told SportsLine.com. “The public has had no qualms laying the chalk with New England.”
  • I read one tweet a few days ago that gave the statistics on how the Patriots fared against double digit spreads and can’t find it. I remember it was favorable but I know that means little.

Let’s get one thing straight, there is nothing worse than betting on a huge dog, rooting for them, and watching them get punished. This happened in week 3 when the Pats sent out rookie Jacoby Brissett to manage the game against the “rising star” Brock Osweiler. I bet the Texans this game for the exact reasoning that a rookie QB has to suck and Brock will be better than when he was on Denver. What happened was that it didn’t matter if they sent out Rob Kelley as the QB that game. The Texans couldn’t move the ball and it was a sad state of affairs to be a Texans fan in Foxboro that night. Is there any reason to think it will change? The answer is no. Lay the 16 and count your money at the end of the night.

By |2017-01-14T12:12:54-05:00January 14th, 2017|Sports|0 Comments

10, 9, 8, 76ers

Can someone clue me into the reason behind the HHH entrance?

I’m not jumping on the Process bandwagon but last night was the first 3 game winning streak the Sixers have had in 3 years. It’s true that the combined record of the team’s they beat were 45-70, but I have to acknowledge that they won 3 games in a row. I get the feeling that this team is genuinely having fun and buying into what Brett Brown is teaching. The players are starting to have more defined roles and don’t seem to mind being role players to the one genuine star, Joel Embiid. Let’s also give full nod to Embiid for showing hustle and speed of a 7-2 player that hasn’t been seen since young Shaq. He is a bonafide stud as long as he stays healthy.

There are still major concerns and this team is very, very far off from being a contender. You can look at Nerlens stat line last night and see a -14 next to his name and 2 rebounds in 19 minutes (he was -8 against the Knicks, and -1 against the Nets). Jahlil sitting the last 3 games, and them winning them all, should also be a major concern along with this comment, “Obviously, it’s a funky situation. Funky for all of us. Right now, I’m the person who’s sitting out.”. You still have Nik Stauskas, Robert Covington, and TJ McConnell in your starting line up which won’t fly against playoff teams.

No longer.

Winning brings out fans and the Sixers are finally, finally, finally, doing some winning. This is what the process trusters like to see. I don’t think you can say the flip is switched but if they start beating the worse teams in the league, they will start moving towards being a .500 team. Once they get there, you can start the next chirping of playoff bound. What I can’t wait to see happen is when the band wagon fans start saying how big of Sixers fans they are, and then the reaction they get from the “process trusters”. Should be a fascinating social experiment.

By |2017-01-14T11:36:11-05:00January 14th, 2017|Sports|1 Comment

Twin Peaks on Showtime

Dale Cooper and his love for coffee.

A new series of Twin Peaks is being aired on May 21st, 2017 on Showtime. They wisely got the rights to air the show’s only 2 seasons while they lead up to the new release. I noticed the first episode being played 12 minutes ago and decided to write this post as I have 5 more to write and wanted to get started simply.

Twin Peaks is originally a series created in 1990 by Mark Frost and David Lynch. I watched it 5 years ago on Netflix and enjoyed the first season immensely. The 2nd season is not that great. This show is more of a cult classic than must watch TV. Wanted to write this post to mention that Benjamin Horne is a highly underrated character.

By |2017-01-14T11:15:08-05:00January 14th, 2017|Tv|0 Comments

Let’s Talk Uber Drivers

Who doesn’t have an Uber story that they want to share? Uber is the collaboration of a billion dollar app and the common man who is looking to make a buck. The experience of getting into a car with someone you’ve never met before is both exhilarating and terrifying.

For people who read this blog who have never used Uber, it’s a service where regular Joe’s drive you from point A to point B. It’s about 50% cheaper than a taxi. Amazingly every Uber driver I talk to says how easy it is to make money and I’m not sure they consider wear and tear on their vehicle, gas, and taxes for the revenue they are bringing in. Here is an actual example:

For 12 minutes this driver made $6.69. To get an hourly rate we’ll multiply by 5 and we’ll see that Adrian is making upwards of $30 dollars an hour. That’s about 60k a year. He’s going to be rich!

Of course this is not the case as Uber take 25% of the fare. So now our $30 dollars an hour is down to $22.5. There is also a $1.65 rider fee which goes to Uber. Now we’re closer to $20 an hour before expenses. Gas and mileage probably reduce this number a bit further but it appears the typical UBER driver can make around 20 dollars and hour BEFORE taxes. Here’s a good website if you’re curious for more details.

How much Uber drivers make was not the main part of my post but I got caught up in it because I was curious myself. What inspired me to write this post is that, from my experience, Uber drivers are flat out bad drivers. This one white woman was telling me how good of a driver she was as she proceeded to make a right turn on red, WHILE AN ONCOMING CAR WAS GOING THROUGH THE GREEN LIGHT. My guy last night almost clipped his mirror by an inch as he tried to sneak in this tiny lane to make a turn. I have to say that cab drivers are flat our better drivers.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Uber. That same 6.69 fare was $15 in a cab when the driver didn’t have change for my $20. I’ll also say you’ll get a range of drivers who take being an Uber driver seriously (clean car would be my main thought to taking it seriously) and guys who have a jalopy just trying to make a buck. Here’s a quick pro con list:

Pro

  • Cheaper
  • GPS App that picks you up where you want
  • The driver rating system seems to work well

Con

  • Ordering the Uber and watching the driver drive to you in the worst way possible
  • Moronic people who shouldn’t be drivers
  • Some drivers flat out aren’t professional and will talk on their Bluetooth, through the speakers, to their friends (this has happened to me multiple times) using absurd language
  • No one has any idea if tipping is appropriate

What’s everyone’s experience?

 

By |2017-01-12T13:35:39-05:00January 12th, 2017|My Brain|5 Comments
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