When I’m around someone for a lengthened period of time, I tend to pick up on things that the person likes to say. Whether it be a phrase or a saying, people tend to get mind stuck in using the same word all the time. I had a period of time where everything was horrible. Something horrible happened, the food was horrible, my last shit reeked horribly. Things weren’t awful or terrible or horrendous, everything was horrible. Once I caught myself getting my brain stuck on this word I had to go to a thesaurus and start making myself use different words. Another example was when I was in college and this girl ended half her sentences with “do you know what I mean.” When she finished a sentence it was like her brain pulled a trigger and she chose this phrase because she probably had low self esteem and thought no one would know what the fuck she was talking about. She’d say something like “My English teacher is such a dick, he is giving me a c+ instead of b-, do you what I mean.” I’d say “honestly I have no clue because the only thing I listen for when you talk is for you to say ‘do you know what I mean’ so I can laugh at how retarded you are.”

I bring this up because my roommate keeps using the word “the thing.” Hand me the thing, the thing said, turn the thing off. At first I thought it was funny because everything could just be the thing. And he’d keep saying it and I’d keep picking up on it. After a few days of hearing this, I started calling everything the thing. If you pay attention to the way people talk you can see if they keep using the same words or if they are wile enough to switch it up. I wish I had more interaction with people in my work life because I feel like I could write about this topic forever if I had more examples.

To bring this full circle, I tend to think people who keep using the same phrases have pretty much put their brains on cruise control. When I heard my roommate call everything the thing, a cop out for calling something it’s real name, and I read this article in the bathroom book, things started falling into place.

Info-mania takes a noticeable toll on productivity. “An avg worker’s functioning IQ falls 10 points when distracted by ringing telephones and incoming e-mails…more than double the 4 point drop seen in studies on the impact of smoking marijuana,” the scientists concluded. A 10 point drop is the equivalent of trying to put in a full day of work after missing an entire night of sleep.

Now if you know my roommate, things started to make sense why everything was the thing. And while I’m on it, buy a new laptop. You make a fine enough salary to afford a new laptop which you spend half you waking hours on. Your POS computer now is an insult to technology. To give you an idea of how sad this computer is. It was bought in 05′ for 500 bucks. The computer sounds like it wants to take off every time I’m around it. He told me last night that Norton 06′ was protecting him.

And to clear one final thing up. Even if his IQ dropped 10 points, it would still be far and above mine. Chad, don’t take it personal that I used you as my blog subject. Your the most honest person I know (tied with Bud Schmidt) and I only make fun of you because I know, you know, I don’t do it with any malicious intent.

A fun tidbit of info. We scored 91 points in our bball game, and lost by 40. Talk about an embarrassment and a low blow to the self esteem. I could go into details but rehashing this almost brings me to tears from the whooping.