If you’ve read Bill Watterson’s books about Calvin and Hobbes, you’ll know Christmas was a huge theme throughout. Calvin constantly trying to stay out of trouble in order to get presents was many strips. In the end he always finds Hobbes and his family as the real gifts. By far the best portrayal of Christmas I can think of. The last one almost makes me cry.
Here’s a link to the dude map if you want to investigate where “bro”, “buddy”, “fella”, and “pal” are said.
They gathered tweets from white males and broke them down by geography and how often they are said.
Some thoughts:
On Saturday afternoon, 12/21, I was introduced to the first episode of a podcast called Serial. The series concluded just 6 days ago and involves investigating the murder of an 18 year old girl, 15 years later. I binge listened to the series in a matter of 2 days (its about 9 hours of listening) and this method of listening could alter an opinion when compared to listening week by week.
I’m going to write this post like you’ve heard the podcast. There will be spoilers. If this is going to ruin your future plans, stop reading.
Adnan Syed
Jay from Serial
Why did Jay had have Adnan’s car and cell phone? Easy. Adnan had planned this out so that when the time came to investigate who killed Hae, he was off the map. Which worked shockingly well aside from the Nisha call.
Adnan is guilty. With all of the phone records, conversations with key people, and wisdom gained from dissecting a case 15 years later, his inability to disprove where he was that day is cut and dry. Jay’s story is too close to the truth to be fabricated.
Sarah Koenig
Jay’s story is inconsistent. Remember this, “Jay’s testimony is inconsistent because he is an accomplice and he is trying to frame the events in a way that doesn’t implicate himself.
Asia’s note to Adnan was absurd. “I’m not sure if you remember talking to me.” How about, “I remember talking to you.”Realize I’m not Sarah Koenig and being listened to by 5 million people. She couldn’t possibly take a position against Adnan with all of the uncertainty this case provides and the amount of people listening. I made up my mind based on what the simplest answer is and the most important details provided.
I also had no idea what Hae Min Lee looked like.
This headline:
Made me watch the video. Why? Because my brain says, “21 punches in 10 seconds”, that doesn’t add up. A headline that makes me think that it’s not possible gets my interest. When my mind has to translate words into a scenario that I can’t visualize, I wants to see.
Another funny headline that Jeff and I look at are a certain amount of reasons why something….
Most of the time you only need 1.
Now you combine the two methods and put numbers into an idea and you get the headline I posted.
A note about the video:
Not to diminish the fact that Ali was almost inhumanly talented, but this was an exhibition match for fun. Michael Dokes (19 at the time) was legitimately trying to hit him, but he was WAYYYYYYYYyyyyyyy outclassed.
You don’t know the 90’s if you’ve never seen this station wagon.
The 90’s were a simpler time. Internet access only existed in Al Gore’s basement, social media was over a decade away, and kids were still going outside. Here are childhood memories that I want to make sure I remember when I’m 75 years old and look back at this post and shake my head up and down like old people do when they remember the “better days”.
Writing in Cursive
Reasons not to use cursive:
Pencil Sharpener
Do kid’s still know what this is? Back in the day your #2 Ticonderoga would get dull and need to be sharpened. Sticking a tiny pencil into the hole was always awesome to see how small the pencil could get and still be able to be used. Answer, very small.
Sierra Video Games
You buy Leisure Suit Larry 6 and it would ship with 14 1.44mb discs to install. The anticipation builds!
Sierra made 3 series that come to mind that I spent countless hours playing – Kings Quest, Police Quest, and Leisure Suit Larry. I can sum up the games quickly: you pick up items and try to use them on any and everything until they work. Plus Larry almost saw BOOBS!
The game below is Kings Quest 6 and my memories of watching Bill struggle through the game opens up after I watch it.
Number Munchers
Prime Numbers! FUCK!!!!!
I don’t even remember the level below. This was the pinnacle of using a MAC.
Definitely never got this far and I still wouldn’t beat this today.
AOL & You’ve got mail
This dial up followed by the You Got Mail was done thousands of times. AOL would send out free hours and as a kid I totally didn’t understand what free meant. I would peruse the chat rooms looking to cyber by typing ASL to anyone who would respond. Then get on GIF mailing lists where they’d send pictures in large quantites to huge mailing lists. Also raising hell with HellRazer was awesome with punters and chat spams. The glory days.
Swings
Swings may still be universal but I haven’t been to a playground in a decade. When I was a kid the swings were constantly being used. I’d jet once recess was called to make sure I would get one. The obvious activity to do on a swing was to jump off. Get as much speed as possible and vault off at the last second. Dangerous by today’s standard and why I have a feeling swings are not viewed as a recreation activity. Many bumps and bruises.
I’ve always found it a bit odd when a fictional movie references another fictional movie. It’s such a common occurrence that it mainly goes unnoticed but it’s very peculiar.
Sam linked to a scene in Reservoir Dogs about tipping and Mr. Pink plays the world’s smallest violin.
The movie Dinner for Schmucks also uses this exact same idea.
This reference has even gone as far as Spongebob Squarepants.
It’s quite apparent that Quentin Tarentino probably didn’t invent this bit but was the first to bring it to the big screen. This could be completely wrong but go with it. The way I see it, there are two ways to play the world’s smallest violin in 2014. You either reference the movie Reservoir Dogs or you do it how Dinner for Schmucks did by not saying anything. To reference it, the proper way in my opinion, why would the fictional world created in Dinner for Schmucks know what Reservoir Dogs is? Does Paul Rudd immediately know that’s from Reservoir Dogs? Are Steve Carrell and Paul Rudd characters a part of our universe or are they movie characters who live in a movie world? Why would their movie world be our real world?
An odd concept I know but I always find it weird when movies reference real life.
MRW when seeing a slideshow
I was immediately disappointed when I clicked on this “Top 10 Searches of 2014” link because it threw a slideshow in my face. I can’t stand slideshows. I’m a scroller, not a clicker. Either way I was intrigued enough to carry on and these are the results.
10. Jennifer Aniston
9. IPhone 6
8. Miley Cyrus
7. Frozen
6. Kim K
5. Kaley Cuoco
4. Jennifer Lawrence
3. Ariana Grande
2. Minecraft
1. Ebola
A quick breakdown shows 6 females, 1 mobile device, 1 movie, 1 game, and 1 disease.
Females
Ariana didn’t get the memo and Kaley needs her head examined.
Men and women alike search for females whereas women only search for men. Men search to ogle sexy celebs and women search to see what they’re wearing and who they’re dating. Jennifer Aniston has found the fountain of youth. Miley is a trainwreck that people can’t stop looking at. Kim K has developed her brand over years of tireless hardwork and effort (of her crew). Kaley is a question mark for me but I guess a lot of people want to Big Bang her. Nobody can stop talking about Jennifer Lawrence and her nude pics and the Hunger Games. Ariana Grande is the hottest thing since sliced bread and wears leotards that ride up her ass all day everyday. It’s funny how pretty people are more important to the average folk than politics and global affairs.
Mobile Device
IPhone 6 coming in at the #9 spot is impressive because it even makes the list. With hundreds, if not thousands, of other devices on the market, the wave of information is endless. Apple has proven it is the leader in terms of brand recognition and quality of device. It proves the culture of mobile users continues to grow. In a hard fought market, Apple is leading the way.
Movie
Let’s face it, movies are not getting worse but the draw to see it at a theater is waning. With only 10 billion in revenue for each of the last 6 years, it is not a growing market. People are sitting home watching Netflix and purchasing movies on cable. There is so much entertainment available that the newest movie will be out in 6 months and people are waiting. I’ve never seen Frozen but I have to think that most of these searches are being done by a younger generation which opens up a huge market for advertisers.
Video Games
I haven’t played video games like I used to in 10 years. However I understand the models and to see Minecraft as the #2 search this year is worth dissecting. Minecraft started out as a free game where users explore a world and gather resources in order to do something that isn’t nearly as awesome as the person playing it thinks. My roommate in college spent countless hours clicking his mouse over a piece of wood. The free version has now moved to consoles and converting free users to paying customers proved widely successful. I have to imagine other video games are only a tad further down on the list but players living in a fantasy world is a concept the population will never tire of.
Disease
Most searched because it can affect every single person on the planet. The curiosity of a disease that can kill you once infected is the single most searched term which shouldn’t come as a surprise. Death is the #1 concern for a human being. No if, ands, or buts. Once your dead, you don’t have to worry about anything else. Causing mass hysteria comes from death. If a virus hits the internet and shuts it down completely, people may feel like it’s the biggest deal in the world but I promise you the possibility of death brings a whole other dimension.
Just revisiting a classic clip. If you don’t laugh at 1:43 there is something wrong with you.
“you have a bull on your shirt. you look like a furt from a cartoon. a coon. and ruins like prunes. you live with racoons. animal boon. you live in kalamazoo you foo.”
You have a bull on your shirt
This is a double entendre. The artist(Raindrop) is sarcastically referencing a “bull” on Mike Glambin’s shirt, playing up the irony of this tiny kid fronting a symbol of masculinity. The second meaning is that the “bull” is bullshit, because he doesn’t live up to that symbol.
You look like a fert from a cartoon; A coon.
Raindrop is taking poetic license with the word fert to rhyme with shirt. “fert” here means fart, and is tied up with “shirt” to evoke imagery of farts and shits in association with Mike Glambin. The poetic license is accentuated and cemented with the “cartoon” conclusion. This confirms Raindrops intention to caricaturize Glambin, and further undermines Glambin’s worth as a real man. A coon is a “raccoon” in this context, which will be expanded upon later.
And it runes like prunes
Raindrop continues with the narrative on Glambin fronting his masculinity here. “Rune” in this context is referring to Glambins bull. Raindrop is asserting that Glambins statement of masculinity is a misguided aphorism. The bull’s symbolic, mystical image of power is without substance because of the person equipping it. The icon of manliness shrivels on Glambins body like a prune. This is first a double entendre – where the “rune” is “ruined” like a solid plum to a shrivelled prune. Raindrop is also exercising a triple entendre where Glambin’s nuts are emasculated and withering to prunes.
You live with raccoons.
This is the nail in the coffin, so to speak. The narrative on Glambin’s false manhood has been established in regards to his physique. Now Raindrop emphasizes Glambin’s lack of social decorum and mental sanity by stating he lives with raccoons, which are considered more pest than pet. This also implies that Glambin cannot find a woman to live with, and has settled for living with raccoons.
New segment being introduced. 3 questions that my relationship with a person would entail me to ask that you normally wouldn’t.
Her face at :28 & :49 is priceless.
1Q) In this interview, I counted a total of <5 seconds of eye contact from you and Dana Feigenbaum was staring at you the whole time. She’s obviously attractive. Would you say your lack of eye contact was due to your inexperience with interviews or because she’s a babe?
1A) I didn’t look at her because I was pissed off. This was the second or third take of this interview, and I thought the questions were stupid (not her fault, but they were). It was also after practice, and everyone was going to dinner, so I wanted to leave. I’d never spoken to her before, and to your point, never again after, so needless to say I didn’t make a great impression.
2Q) I know the name Banshee was your first bike but the domain name bansheemann7 is unusual. If you could change the name to something more appropriate for your current situation, what would it be?
2A) I’m genuinely embarrassed to share that URL with people who have never seen the blog before. I want to change it, but have no idea what to change it to. What’s appropriate to my current situation? I work a 40 hour week, I drink a lot, I like sports, I’m young and single, I maintain a shitty blog, and I run a lot. How can I combine those into a URL? I welcome in any suggestions. You already stole the “rnning” theme.
3Q) You suffer from binge drinking which leads to black outs like myself. This is a risky way to go through life and it will catch up to you. Do you think this is because of an uncomfortableness in social situations sober or having no control over the situation when you start bombing shots? Does the first lead to the second?
3A) It depends. First off, I never try to black out. At bars, I generally feel I should always drink more because the looser I am, the better chance I have of picking up a girl. In the comfort of my own home or a friend’s home, I drink a lot because I like drinking games and encouraging others to drink (if you talk the talk you have to walk the walk), with the chance of a hook-up being secondary. I also think making bets that involve drinking is always fun, “Loser of this game of FIFA has to shotgun”, etc. so that leads to binge drinking.
If I had a real incentive to not drink so much, I would. I could go into the night and say alright, because of reason X I’m taking it easy. But I haven’t come across reason X yet. Sacrificing a fun night to compensate a bad hangover isn’t worth it to me, at least not yet. On a final note – shots ALWAYS lead to blackouts for me, so I try to avoid them.
I’m going to reward you with an idea and I want you to reward me by proving how good of an idea it is. Here goes:
People prefer comments over the post. This is partly why Reddit is as popular as it is. Reddit works off the magic of user contributed information. Readers then grade the information with upvotes which determine what info gets on the front page. Get on the front page, get more views, get more comments. A show of comments is a good indicator of how successful the material is. The comments also get upvoted and they are the 2nd best part of Reddit. Certain commenters are golden like the above example.
I want to make a blog off of the idea that people WANT TO communicate back and forth in the comments. More people would interact with the comments and the post would become secondary. I’d have to give tremendous thought on what posts would spur this collective effort but it could be massive with a huge snowball effect. It’s essentially a forum with key participation from dependable, and insightful, people who want to contribute.
Unfortunately, as I wrote this idea I’m thinking more and more that all I described was a forum. I still believe though there is a key difference between a website with comments and a forum.
What do you think? I’m seriously asking what you think. I mean it. Actually comment on this post to prove the strength of this idea. If you are sitting behind your computer and reading this sentence, this last sentence, you have just read 300 words and I’m requesting your opinion. Don’t feel weird. No one cares that you are making a comment on a blog. Everyone only cares about themselves and after they read your comment and think how stupid it is, they’ll forget about in the next 15 seconds and never think about it again. The process is simple and you need a name and email address.
All I want to know is do you look forward to reading the comments and do you find them more amusing than the actual blog? I’d also like to know the main reason why you don’t comment?
