The Graders.

The Graders.

When I see that a movie has 4 stars, I’m more apt to watch it than one that got 1 star. I imagine you’re the same way. Unfortunately, the Comcast cable rating system (produced by Rovi, who bought TIVO) has been over run by money. Obviously the studios know that a viewer feels the same way as us, so they pay Rovi to give their movie 4 stars (total guess here). This is a bit misleading and it’s worth looking what movies are getting 4 stars. I’ve viewed these in the past month or so and although I wouldn’t call them bad, they are far more entertaining than quality oriented.


Star Wars: The Force Awakens

8.2 IMDB, 92% Rotten Tomatoes

The 7th movie in the series is the 3rd highest grossing film of all-time and is directed by JJ Abrams. Unfortunately this is not reason to be voted a 4 star movie.

I watched this movie and can’t understand how people loved it so much. Here are the reasons why:

  • Did not fight like a badass.

    Did not fight like a badass.

    It was a mere 100 minutes. If they had a lot of good material, it would have been longer.

  • Han and Leia’s son, Kylo Ren, was such a pussy and the actor who played Kylo starred in a movie called Gayby previously.
  • Princess Leia didn’t age that well and was a shitty General.
  • When the Rebellion was attacking the ridiculously named “StarKiller”, some guy said “we’ve lost half our fleet.” They had about 8 ships left so that means they lost 4 planes. I swear there were hundreds of TIE fighters zooming around.
  • You barely knew how to use a blaster.

    You barely knew how to use a blaster.

    How did the guy Fin get so good at using a light saber to fight Kylo Ren in the final scene? He wasn’t even a Jedi?

  • They blew up the StarKiller the same exact way they blew up the Deathstar which had to be an inside joke.
  • It was nice to see Harrison Ford back as Han Solo but that reason is hardly enough for 4 stars.



8.1 IMBD, 84% Rotten Tomatoes

We have another winner with the audience and most likely why it got 4 stars. I must be getting old but here are the reasons why I wouldn’t have it be a 4 star movie.

  • 01-ryan-reynolds-deadpooljpg-0d7f98_765wThe storyline, which is the  main reason a movie should be rated 4 stars, was average at best. Guy falls in love, gets terminal cancer (what?), meets a rando in the bar, gets pain treatment, turns into a mutant, shoots the bad guy in the head and gets the girl. That’s really the entire story. Think Schnindler’s List or the Godfather for a 4 star storyline.
  • Deadpool Fuck Scene

    Ryan Reynolds may work out

    The hot fuck scenes don’t make the movie worth watching. Morena Baccarin is sexy as hell and I loved her in Homeland.

  • The fights were flat out bizarre. What’s the point of fighting if no one ever gets hurt? Colossus and the girl with the boob out at the end were only wasting time.
  • How did Deadpool kill the guy at the end? There were probably thousands of bullets flying around that scene at the end
  • TJ Miller was pretty good comedic relief for what that’s worth. It was actually a funny movie with the dialogue but once again, the story makes the movie. I enjoyed how Deadpool talked directly to the audience. The taxi driver side plot was weird.


Mad Max: Fury Road

8.1 IMDB, 98% Rotten Tomatoes

4 stars seems a little absurd for this movie unless there is a hidden underlying theme that I’m completely missing. Even still, I love watching the movie at various junctures.

  • mad-max2-800x533The dude playing guitar on the rig is sweet every time I see it.
  • I always found it kind of weird that the war rig rarely gets damaged.
  • Tom Hardy as Max is bad ass because he never has much to say and pretty much steals the show.
  • I’m not a huge Charlize Theron fan but I she didn’t annoy me.
  • I like the movie because I can pick it up at any scene and know I never missed anything. Kind of like Blue Streak. Alas for this reason, it probably wasn’t a stellar movie story wise.


The Revenant

8.1 on IMBD. 82% on Rotten Tomatoes

If you would have just died, you would have saved me 2 hours.

If you would have just died, you would have saved me 2 hours.

You’ll have to forgive me for this review as I haven’t even finished the movie. It’s that boring though that it’s taken me 5 tries watching 10 minutes with each go. Leonardo gets hurt and then gets hunted. Or starts to hunt. Who cares? It’s cool to visualize life back then, but boy is this movie slow and stupid. Maybe I’ll update it when I finish it.


Final Thoughts

4 stars is flat out misleading. My opinion of a 4 star movie is one that’s in the top 3% of all movies ever produced. The Departed was also 4 stars on Comcast and this is a movie I agree with. It makes you think because it’s deceptive. It’s perfectly acted by at least a dozen characters. It catches you by surprise with the ending and makes you come away thinking, “holy shit”. None of these movies did that for me.

If you want to make movies 5 stars, that would make more sense. Don’t give out a 5 star review unles sit deserves it. Maybe 4 stars aren’t enough because if you look at all of the scores of these movies, they all fall in line with 75% or greater which should be a 4 star movie. Unfortunately this is not the way I believe the rating system should work, and hasn’t worked in the past. Too much manipulation. What do you think?