Quick bball paragraph because I can’t go into too much detail. We walk in the lobby and there are 8 black guys sitting on the bench and my first thought is “shit.” The one guy was 6-5 and we don’t have any size so we thought we could be in trouble. As it turns out these guys must have missed all their practices as youths. They were pretty awful and we weren’t much better and still beat them by 15+. We literally missed, I’d guess 20 easy layups and another 20 shots. We could have had 100 points if we were any good. Ck4 said he was 2-11 and I was probably 2-12 and I don’t think I took a shot outside the paint. Bud was our saving grace as I think his shooting % was above 50. I know we are playing bad when I come to the bench and say “wow I suck,” and get consoled by Jess Baker saying “you’re not that bad.” Anytime a girl has to tell you you aren’t bad and she’s just saying it to be nice, you know you must be playing pretty bad. I may be exaggerating a tad, but seriously it’s only a tad. I air-balled a foul shot to give you an idea of how bad it was. If we played anyone decent, this would not have been such a lopsided victory.
On a tangent, I was thinking the other day that I seem to lack the fundamental emotions like being sad because something bad happened or getting excited because something should be fun. What I mean is that I try to stay pretty even keeled and not let emotions get in the way of what I’m feeling. Some examples, and these aren’t the best, but I was listening to sports radio and a caller was saying how “pissed off” he was that the Eagles lost. Uhh, who cares and how does this affect you? People are getting nuts over the Phillies and their playoff games. Why am I getting thrilled about a baseball game? Do these things actually make people happy when their sports teams win? I contribute nothing to the outcome so it’s the same result whether I see it or not and I just don’t have any emotion whatsoever towards sports. Consider something like our bball game, if we lost I would care more about that but that would literally be for a minute after the game and then I’m moving on because I’m not going to get worked up over recreation sports.
This sort brings me to people looking for other people and the emotional attachment that comes with it. Throughout my life I’ve had a lot of people I can call my friends. I always thought I was pretty nice to people so people tended to be nice to me and that in turn develops friendships. Now that relating to my lack of emotional scale, throughout my life I probably don’t talk to the majority of the friends I’ve developed over my lifetime. It’s not like I stopped liking the person, I just probably didn’t see any reason to continue the friendship whether it be to geography or just because. I feel like people have this “I’m going to go out of my way to maintain this friendship” and I just think I don’t. It’s never anything personal either I just sort of always feel like I should make it on my own and didn’t really need anyone to help. As you get older you sort of regret the time that you could have spent because as time moves, people grow apart. I just think of areas I could improve on and this for whatever reason comes to mind.