We Don't Walk Slow

The Brazilians Are Horrible People

Taken from a Reddit Post:

Is this the face of someone who one Silver at the Olympics?

This is Renaud Lavillenie, a French pole jumper, at the the award ceremony for his Silver medal. Does he look happy? No, because the whole Brazilian audience is booing him. They boo at him because he was the favorite for the gold medal and concurrent of the Brazilian athlete. At all his attempts the audience booed, so that he fails and the Brazilian athletes wins. And in the end he lost to the Brazilian athlete, who won gold.

And when the national anthem of Brazil played he couldn’t stop his emotions anymore and cried. The Brazilian people are the worst audience and host of the Olympics. This shows only how bad the decision of the IOC was to chose Rio besides the open thefts and violence against tourists and athletes.

By Tom Stortz|2016-10-28T15:30:53-04:00August 17th, 2016|Sports|2 Comments

The Losers Of Olympic Golf

Justin Rose wins Gold

Huge congratulations to Justin Rose for out dueling Henrick Stenson for the Olympic gold in Rio. He played great golf the final round and sealed the deal with a 50 yard chip or so to about 2 ft which gave him a birdie and the win on 18. Stenson had a shot at birdie on 18 to tie but couldn’t get it done. Kuch shot a 63 in the final round to backdoor into the bronze medal.

Props to Kuchar (-13, 3rd place), Bubba (-8, T for 8th), Patrick Reed (-6, T 11), and Rickie Folwer (E, T for 37th) for doing a great job representing the USA. The tournament had a different feel to it because the players weren’t playing for money but for their country. Matt Kuchar said:

“I can assure you I’ve never been so excited to finish in the top three in my life,” he told Golf Channel’s Steve Sands. “I can’t explain to you the pride I feel just burning out of my chest. It’s something I haven’t felt before.”

Aside from the great golf being played and the enormous respect that is due to the players who participated, there should also be a large amount of shame placed on the top players of the world. Jordan Spieth, Rory McIlroy, Dustin Johnson, Jason Day, and Adam Scott, I’m looking in your direction. It should be pointing out that the Zika virus was to blame (lame excuse) and Rory straight came across as a dick.

The Losers Quotes

I hope she was worth it.

Dustin Johnson – “As an athlete, I can think of no greater honor than representing the United States in the Olympic Games,” Johnson said in a statement Friday night. “However, after much careful consideration and discussion with both my family and my team, I have made the decision to withdraw from the 2016 Olympic Games. This was not an easy decision for me, but my concerns about the Zika virus cannot be ignored. [Wife] Paulina and I plan to have more children in the near future, and I feel it would be irresponsible to put myself, her or our family at risk.

I hope you get eaten by a kangaroo.

Jason Day – “The reason for my decision is my concerns about the possible transmission of the Zika virus and the potential risks that it may present to my wife’s future pregnancies and to future members of our family,”

Major respect points deducted.

Jordan Spieth – “It’s the most exciting sporting event for me to watch on TV and to have a chance to be a part of it is something I definitely look forward to trying to do. This year I just had to try and weigh a risk that doesn’t present itself every year, and just at the time that I had to make the decision, I just felt this was the right move for me.

“Not everybody’s going to understand. Nobody’s going to understand what it’s like in my shoes . . . As you can see, a lot of golfers are trying to decide for themselves. Mine came down to just a very personal decision that, again, I don’t expect anybody to understand, but trust that I believe I’m making the right decision for myself, for my future and for those around me.”

You told the honest truth which was commendable but you’re a dick.

Rory McIlroy – I don’t feel like I’ve let the game down at all. I didn’t get into golf to try to grow the game. I tried to get into golf to win championships and major championships.

By Tom Stortz|2016-08-15T11:08:52-04:00August 14th, 2016|Sports|0 Comments

Golfers Made Big Mistake Not Golfing in the Olympics

If you haven’t been following Golf, which I’m sure you haven’t, the top players of the world decided not to participate in the Olympics because it hasn’t been played since 1904, and doesn’t carry the weight of the majors. They actually used the excuse of the Zika virus for why they weren’t playing. I’m looking at you Jordan Spieth, Jason Day, Rory McIlroy, Dustin Johnson, Brendan Grace, Louis Oosthuizen, and Adam Scott. I have a feeling they might be regretting this decision once the tournament starts.

In more interesting news, Paulina Gretzky put this on Instagram a few days ago and got into it with some trolls about DJ not playing in the Olympics.

I got 99 problems but you won’t be one @djohnsonpga

A photo posted by Paulina Gretzky (@paulinagretzky) on Aug 5, 2016 at 5:19pm PDT

Paulina has since deleted this comment in response:

Listen here you hating pieces of shit trolls. I’ll say it once, he didn’t work his ass off his entire life for a gold medal, he achieved his MAJOR, and let everyone else do what they need to do and leave my fanfuckingtastic man alone.

Some of the better comments on this picture:

how does it feel to be a dumb blonde trophy wife living off her dad and husband’s success? When’s ur porno coming out? Skank
He’s a bum with 0 personality who sounds like a simpleton when he speaks. The fact that you throw around profanity only adds to the fact that you’re a classless couple. Yes he has a major. Thank god Bc otherwise hes known as nothing more than a stiff, lame choke artist. Keep showing your ass for fame, skank.
Did you husband do Blow and screw other players wives/girlfriends?

Why Olympic Golf is Worth Watching

Lost respect for you.

2 Words – John Deere. If the Traveler’s was a below average tournament, the John Deere has about as much enthusiasm as a man on life support
They will be golfing in a location I have never seen a golf course in
Most of the worlds best players aren’t pussies and will be partcipating – Fowler, Bubba, Kuchar, Reed, Stenson, Rose, Garcia
It’s the Olympics and you can only brag about winning it every 4 years
Draftkings lineups are available
TEAM USA

Team dinner @Rio2016_en with @RickieFowler, @bubbawatson, @PReedGolf. Go @USAGolf and @TeamUSA. ???????????????????????????????? pic.twitter.com/yKiiE5SfQq

— USA GOLF (@USAGolf) August 9, 2016

By Tom Stortz|2016-08-09T09:24:47-04:00August 9th, 2016|Sports|1 Comment

Why Live TV is the Only Way to Watch the Olympics

I’ve been enjoying the Olympics the last few days and there is such a difference when you are watching a live event vs watching what NBC wants you to see. I don’t want to know…that other people already know. When the NBC producers are cutting up the events, I’m watching what someone wants me to watch. Even if it’s amazing footage, it doesn’t have the same appeal to me. Take last night, when China was playing the USA in beach volleyball, there was an off chance that China was going to win because I was watching it live. If it was on replay, I would rather watch highlights.

Lily King (gold) and Katie Meili (bronze)

Lily King’s win last night in the 100m breast stroke over Russia’s Yulia Efimova was compelling TV. The broadcast was hyping up the that Lily called out Yulia for doping and a rivalry was brewing. Watching it live was electric because you didn’t know who was going to win. Duh. If the event was on replay, and heaven forbid King lost, I have this odd suspicion that NBC would have framed the story differently. If it’s not live, I don’t care for it.

By Tom Stortz|2016-08-09T08:35:05-04:00August 9th, 2016|Sports|0 Comments

Doc & Darryl

I watched the 30 for 30 (directed by Judd Apatow and Michael Bifiglio) about Darryl Strawberry and Dwight Gooden and came away with an appreciation for the ups and downs superstars can face when drugs are involved. Both players should have made it to Cooperstown instead of being known for DUI’s, wife beating, cocaine and crack use, and going to jail.

Dwight “Doc” Gooden

1984-1986 – “The Glory Years for Dr. K”

Dwight’s 1985 season goes down as one as the best in history. The 1.52 ERA is lowest ERA in the modern era for an entire season. To give an idea of how astounding this mark is, it ranks #42nd of all time lowest ERA’s in a season. If you click on the link, the top 40 above him were all done before 1920. The only even comparable season was in 1968 when Bob Gibson put up a 1.123 mark. This is insane to think he put up this season at the age of 20 and it hasn’t been touched in 30 years.

In 1986 the Mets won the world season with the infamous ball through Buckner’s legs in game 6. After the Mets won game 7, Gooden hit up his drug dealer, partied too hard and ended up missing the parade the following day. After the 1986 season, Gooden had an incident where he fought with police during a traffic stop and troubles began for him. Rumors began swirling that one of the 2 “black superstars” on the team was using cocaine and Darryl said it wasn’t him.

He was still an above average pitcher after 1986 achieving records of 15-7, 18-9, 9-4, 19-7, 13-7 in the subsequent years before the drugs really took their toll. Dwight was never able to free himself from addiction and his career never recovered as the years passed. A notable story of his was in 1996 he signed with the New York Yankees and no-hit the Seattle Mariners the same day that his dad had a life-threatening surgery. He passed a few days later but it’s another spirit lifting story.

Dwight made the HoF ballot but was only selected by 17 of the 520 voters. His legal troubles continued through the 2000’s and he spent time in jail for traffic incidents, using drugs on probation, and hitting his girlfriend. As of 2015 he was jittery in the sit down with Darryl but “seemed” sober. He appeared on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew in 2011 and it’s great to see how worthless that time was.

Darryl Strawberry

1983-1990 – The League’s Best Hitter (on drugs)

At 6-6, Darryl had a silky smooth, powerful swing.

What a combination of power and speed and to think it was all while being high. In the documentary, Darryl recalled “playing naked” which is when you weren’t taking “greenies”, which are code name for amphetamines. As Darryl said, “the ball looks huge coming across the plate when you’re on “greenies”” Darryl’s lifestyle was greenies to get pumped for the game, party at night, sleep during the day, and repeat day after day. It’s amazing that he was as productive as was.

Darryl and Doc’s story were similar in that they both suffered from substance abuse but Darryl has finally found a clean life whereas I wouldn’t be so sure with Dwight. Darryl married a woman from his NA class and appears to be living a healthy lifestyle. He had been in jail numerous times throughout the years and battled colon cancer in 1998. He has stayed out of trouble since 2005. This story in 2002 pretty much sums up his problems:

On September 11, 2000, in Tampa, Strawberry tried to drive to see his probation officer after taking painkillers. While driving, he blacked out, rear-ended another car, and then tried to drive away. An off-duty police officer witnessed the episode and arrested him at gunpoint. The next day, Strawberry admitted to the charges and his probation was changed to two years of house arrest. On November 21, he was sentenced to a year of probation and community service. On October 25, 2000, Strawberry left a Tampa drug treatment center to use drugs with a female friend violating his house arrest and parole. On November 9, he was sentenced to 40 days in jail with credit for time served.On November 3, 2000, Strawberry told a judge in Tampa that he had lost his will to live and had stopped chemotherapy. On November 30, he was released from jail and sent back to rehab. On April 2, 2001, Strawberry was arrested for again disappearing from his house arrest drug treatment center in Tampa. On May 1, he was sentenced to more time at a drug treatment center.

By Tom Stortz|2016-08-02T23:40:15-04:00August 2nd, 2016|Sports|0 Comments

A Look At My Fantasy Baseball Season

I happened to make the playoffs in my Fantasy Baseball season this year. I finished with a 10-6 record in 5th place. I was the 5th highest scoring team and had the least amount of points scored against. With a year of experience under my belt, I was a much better manager with regard to who I was rostering on the batter side (only 2 bench spots) and making sure I got as many pitching points as possible with closers.

Rick Porcello – 14-2 with 111 k’s and a 1.11 WHIP

Brookes drafted my team and I wouldn’t have made the playoffs without some of his picks, specifically David Ortiz. I lost Dee Gordon for most of the season as well so the fact that he’s back right at playoff time is helpful. I had some tremendous pitching waiver wire pick ups with Rick Porcello (#15 out of all pitchers in total points), Marco Estrada (thanks Bud), and Rich Hill. On the batter end, I couldn’t have done it without dropping Russell Martin early for Wilson Ramos and grabbing Jean Segura.

I caught a bad break as the player I’m going against will have double starts for 5 of his pitchers this week which short changes me 9 starts to his 12. I have 4 moves to make, as does he, so we’ll see how it plays out. I enjoy fantasy football more than baseball but managing a team for months still provides some entertainment.

By Tom Stortz|2016-08-01T15:16:52-04:00August 1st, 2016|Sports|2 Comments

The Sadness of a Min DK Golf Cash

When you go from this (67th out of 86k for a 1k cash):

To finishing in 1,436 place and cashing for a measly $75, there is a bit of disappointment. I was pretty pumped watching Brandon Grace sink 3 birdies on the front and putting himself a shot off the lead at one point. He missed a close one on 16 and then put one in the water on 18 to sink any chance of winning he had. Stenson couldn’t close and Day’s eagle on 18 was awesome but Walker was too consistent. Obviously you had to own Day and Walker to make a splash in this big tournament so I’m not complaining as much as it may seem but it’s rare you pass 6 guys and then have them all play reasonably well. Walker was 1.6% owned for the tournament.

A tournament like this shows how difficult it is to predict golf. I don’t give a shit what all the models say who is going to win, they are only tools that make efforts at predicting the unpredictable. DJ was 43% owned which shows how smart the public is! I’m more sulking on how hard it is to actually win money in these major tournaments. I finished in the top 1.7% and won $41.00. I can’t lie that it was a lot of fun watching the tournament, but the idea of striking it rich or hearing people tell you they make money playing Draftkings is laughable.

By Tom Stortz|2016-08-01T10:11:03-04:00August 1st, 2016|Sports|1 Comment

Let’s Talk Odell vs Norman

[dropcap background=”yes”]”The reason he’s become so relevant is because of me.”[/dropcap]

Why Odell Will Come Out On Top

Preach Odell. The chance of Josh Norman shutting down OBJ (I’m not sure why I used to refer to him as ODB) this year without Carolina’s front 7 is a fucking joke. Carolina’s defense ranked 6th in yards allowed and 1st in takeaways. The Redskins ranked 28th in yards allowed and 8th in takeaways. This is going to be a bloodbath when the play.

Odell’s stat line for the game Norman body slammed him is deceiving as he had 6 catches for 76 yards and a score. Most fail to mention that he dropped a 60 yard pass where he blew by Norman that would have been an easy TD. Read all about that game in my post here.

RT for awareness: Odell Beckham, Jr prefers “OBJ” and not “ODB” as his nickname.

— Matt Miller (@nfldraftscout) November 10, 2014

My Current Fantasy Draft Order

If I get the 7th pick in the draft I’ll take Odell.

My order for the top 7 is:
1) AB
2) Le’veon Bell
3) AP
4) David Johnson
5) Gronk
6) Gurley
7) OBJ

I’m not sleeping on AP

I’m not drafting a QB early and love securing Gronk with a TE spot. I didn’t get a good RB last year in either of my leagues and managed fine with Muscle Hamster and the Ivory Tower, so I don’t think you have to go RB in the first round which is a common misconception. Drafting Mark Ingram or Shady that high this year is laughable. Give me ol’ reliable AP or Jamaal who is being drafted ridiculously late.

I’m seeing some mocks with OBJ going as the 2nd pick and even I can’t get on that train. I believe he’s next level talent but Antonio Brown is even freakier. The steadiness of David Johnson with his screen passes is not a trait to ignore. I’m saying right now that I’m taking the over yards in both of his matchups with Norman. Any takers?

AHHHHH. Football is almost back.

By Tom Stortz|2016-07-21T14:53:22-04:00July 21st, 2016|Sports|0 Comments

Any Given Wednesday w/ Bill Simmons

I recently, 5 minutes ago, watched an episode with Mark Cuban, Malcolm Gladwell, and Bill Simmons within HBO’s Any Given Wednesday with Bill Simmons series. The interview ended within 15 minutes and when Bill Simmons said, “goodbye”, I was disappointed.

I don’t get disappointed often but when Mark Cuban (a genius businessman and billionaire who understands the value of money better than anyone) and Malcolm Gladwell (a genius who finds keys to the way this world works frequently) are on a panel together, it’s smart to listen. The problem is that Bill is the host and although I wouldn’t call him bad, he isn’t a magnetic host. He roams the middle (which is fine for a host) but when you have extreme geniuses on your show, you aren’t delivering the questions that are edgier (“Cuban – what makes a good owner*?). I wanted more of the conversation between Gladwell and Cuban because Bill needs to be more opinionated.

Act like Cuban has no idea what he is doing.

I have only watched 1.5 episodes of Bill Simmons so I’m not passing judgement quickly but I think he lacks the enthusiasm, which I’m hoping comes because he is getting great guests. Nice alliteration by accident.

*Cuban says that the feeling of the town of Cleveland when they won the Championship is worth more than money. They go hand in hand. When you win, you spur the economy like hardly anything else on our planet can.

By Tom Stortz|2016-07-21T08:33:25-04:00July 20th, 2016|Sports|1 Comment

The Open Was Electric

The Clarett Jug

I didn’t watch much of the Open aside from the last 5 holes and it was riveting. 2 players who were far better than the field competing neck and neck. Phil’s up and down on 17 was unbelievable. Stenson was unflappable. These guys were sharing an attribute that no one else on the entire planet has. You have to think that there was a reason why Phil and Henrik were so much better then everyone else.

Competition – These two were in the final group for 2 days straight and they must have leveled each other up a few notches. Henrik made history that hasn’t been done in 43 years by shooting a 63 in the final round of a major.
Camaraderie – The one part of golf that most casual fans don’t get is that as much as it’s an individual game, you are affected by your surroundings. Henrik and Phil probably had some crazy “one up” each other vibe that lead them to these insane rounds. They probably both enjoyed each other’s company and excelled as part of the synergy.
Course – Links is a bit different and it’s possible Henrik has a lot of experience with these courses because he’s from Europe and Phil is just flat out old. Who has more experience than him on the tour? Ernie Els? Vijay Singh? Speith, Day, and DJ are all young guys who maybe don’t play these types of courses. Royal Troon set up nicely for them,

The bottom line is that I knew I was watching an epic event because I was literally smiling at the TV as Henrik sank the putt on 18 and watching people congratulate him. Tough, tough, tough break for Phil. Guy plays out of his mind and loses to a Hugo Boss model who hit almost every green in regulation and is more machine than man. I never really loved Phil’s demeanor but watching him today was tremendous. A new found respect. I’m sure most of you didn’t watch it and could care less but every so often an amazing occurrence…occurs and it’s worth sharing.

By Tom Stortz|2016-07-18T10:14:36-04:00July 17th, 2016|Sports|1 Comment