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tom@stortz.com

About Tom Stortz

Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.

Twitter News Trends

I saw 2 “almost” interesting news stories.

Eminem Trump Diss Track #DonaldsABitch

I know it’s YouTube but I read about it because of this tweet

Original Tweet

Britt McHenry’s Reply

I follow Britt McHenry and Tomi Lahren on Twitter because they are hot smart. Britt either worked or works for ESPN doing sideline nonsense and Tomi got hired by Fox News because she’s opinionated towards Republicans. This tweet by Britt is like watching her head explode. It’s like “I like Eminem, but he’s not supporting the President, what am I supposed to do?” I’m not sure when our society decided that these women are were aren’t our best source of information, and I truly don’t mean that in a demeaning way, but

Pardon My Take Going To ESPN

PMT is #20 if you feel like clicking to view the top Podcasts.

Here’s Matthew Berry giving implication that ESPN is going to buy Pardon My Take. I have not once listened to Pardon My Take. I honestly have no clue when people listen to Podcasts, but it ranks near the highest in popularity on ITunes. If it’s true, just another piece of Barstool being subjected to the masses. Once the censorship starts taking place, it falls into all the other shit out there. The collapse of good shit continues (although you could make the argument I don’t know if it’s good, which is true, and I personally think it’s probably not good, but the point wouldn’t be as strong).

By |2017-10-11T14:31:54-04:00October 11th, 2017|My Brain|2 Comments

Stop the Fight!

This was one of the rougher few weeks that I’ve occurred, but as I told the Shee, shooter’s shoot. With regard to losing though, I’m winning at losing. Where to begin. Where to begin.

Let’s start with bowling in an absolute meltdown from our team. I haven’t been under 500 pins for a series since 1/25/16. We’re talking a streak broken of 20+ months last night. I have no explanation either as I felt fine and thought I was rolling a good ball, but those goddamn straight plastic bowlers were killing my shit.  I didn’t adjust right like I needed to which is on me. I have made a fairly drastic change to my shot which is still getting the kinks straightened out but when I can hit 16 mph, I have to stick with it. Evan put on an epic performance as well. I’m actually ecstatic we went 1-3.

Gambling was a mess as I rode the hot streak into the ground. I went 1 for 4 on Saturday and then turned that into a 1 for 3 performance on Sunday for a major dent to my bankroll. I’ll update  later in another post, but it’s not pretty. DK was a total whiff as well with guys like Evan Engram putting up a 0 spot as one of my key plays. Now combine all that for an 0-4 week in fantasy and I’m having a bad run. Fortunately, I don’t get discouraged even though it’s easy to. Life goes on. Another week, another set of circumstances to deal with.

By |2017-10-10T10:02:44-04:00October 10th, 2017|Sports|0 Comments

Strike While It’s Hot

I haven’t checked in to the blog in a few days so I’ll revert to some old, boring, post material. All has been well but I’ve been busy with other projects and this website has been taking a back seat. I hate when other people say “they are so busy” because you can be busy doing laundry. Everyone can be busy.

Last week I devoted nearly 0 time to football and had a fine run. This week I’ve been spending too much time looking at it and will probably crap out but you never now I’ve been running hot so take that for what it’s worth. I’ve taken Northwestern +14 and Georgia -18 for my noon action. I’m not good with NCAAF as a fair warning.

Picks

Jags @ Steelers – 10 Units on Jags +8 – You should know that I rarely make decisions by myself. I pool as much info as I can find and if it sticks out to me as trustworthy, then I’ll gauge how much action I want to have exposed to it. Evan Silva wrote “And I believe Jacksonville’s defense is good enough to keep this game closer than the spread suggests” With Ramsey and Bouye back there, I agree. Yes, I think Le’Veon is going to run all over this team. Yes, I think that the Jags offense sucks. Because I think this strongly about those last two points, it points me towards knowing I don’t know anything and taking the Jags. FWIW, Adam does not like this pick.

Cardinals @ Eagles – 10 Units on Cardinals +6.5 – I’m from Philly so you’d think it’s criminal to bet against the home team. When I see a money opportunity, I don’t let allegiance get in the way. I don’t believe this should make me a bad person. The bottom line here is that the Eagles are not a team that capitalizes on mistakes and blows teams out of the water. They beat the Redskins by 13, lost to the Chiefs by 7, needed a 61 yarder to win by 3, and narrowly beat the 0-4 Chargers by 2 in a home “away” game. Jalen Mills has a 44.1 grade in PFF and ranks 86 out of 100+.  Rasul Douglas has a 54.6 grade ranking 68. Rodney McLeod has a 37.1 grade at safety. Carson Palmer isn’t as bad as people say and all he’s going to do is throw. Who is going to stop these targets? No one. I’m not rooting for the Eagles to lose but they aren’t covering 6.5 points. PS. I think Jaron Brown has a big day.

 

DraftKings

By |2017-10-07T10:46:17-04:00October 7th, 2017|Fantasy|2 Comments

The McGrath – Patel Wedding

Let’s remember that even though I’m writing this post, it’s all about Steve and Arpita (just from my perspective). And who better to give a summary then the person who drank the most and remembers the least. If you’re asking why the feature image is so grainy, it’s because I had to crop that cutout from another photo, so we’re low res as it is.

The Rehearsal Dinner

This was actually from the wedding day but I don’t have any pictures from the rehearsal dinner.

I started my journey picking up Gerald in the middle of Center City…during rush hour…much to my dismay, but I’m a nice guy so what can I do. We battled the traffic and I checked into the hotel. I showered under an extremely high water pressure head and met up at the rehearsal dinner. We went through some pre-wedding motions, had some dinner, and shot the shit while people arrived for the wedding. Mr McGrath was telling us about his feud with the neighbors and how he now knows it was Sam Stortz who put a flaming bag of shit on his doorstep (that he didn’t step on or even find until it went out).  The highlight of the evening was when Ron Pearlman of Sons of Anarchy came in and took a seat at the bar. Here is Sam getting a picture with him. He took another picture with one of our friend’s GF’s and Clay was smiling head to toe. Not so much in this one. Also you’ll see Steve and Arpita with the Irish dude.

 

Wedding Day

I woke up the next morning feeling well and we all gathered for some pictures at Valley Forge National Park in our Indian garb. I’m sure the pictures will posterize later, but I don’t have access to them. Never forget that you don’t unsheath another man’s sword and Gerald is the center. Next there was a somewhat different Indian wedding custom where Steve, Ian, and Ed got into a Cadillac while the rest of the party followed a van blasting Jay-Z and DMX. This cultural custom was a bit confusion while the DMX line “and all you other B****** can suck my d****” was blasting. I’ll note the groomsman had little dancing skills and following a van for 15 minutes asking us to dance while 150 people looked on was not the most pleasant experience. After that we did the Indian portion of the ceremony which was a fair amount of chanting, toe touching, and flower throwing. After the ceremony was some lunch and I had a few beers while watching college football. I changed into the tux to get ready for the traditional ceremony.

To boost my confidence, Lauren told me that I looked like Pee Wee Herman in the tux. From that point on, every time I looked in the mirror I thought I was Pee Wee. What do you think?

My thoughts exactly. The terminology used for the next portion of the ceremony was “American”, which I feel like should have been called “another ceremony”. Apparently us Americans aren’t big for tradition as this portion was over and done with in appropriate time. Always looking to steal the thunder, Ian walked down the aisle with his fly down. He was telling us how book smart he was earlier and that it didn’t matter that he wasn’t street smart. This was one of those times.

There was some drinking and then the reception begun. We had practiced a flash mob dance during the wedding entrance which was a bit scattered if I must say. Some people were doing the dance, but most people were just waving their arms. Good idea in theory, poor execution. We all sat down for dinner after that and the Maid of Honor and Best Man speeches began. The girls did a good job while weeping and telling how much they meant to each other. Ian killed the crowd with his fart story, which I told him was always a hit. His broccoli story was a bit odd. Ed ran a 15 minute monologue through Steve’s life and was entertaining throughout (specifically with Steve’s hand me downs and snake bite story). Well done to both McGrath’s. The reception went off like a typical McGrath party should as people drank through the night. A nice part of the night was 11 out of 12 current members of our Fantasy Football League were all in one spot for this great picture. I’ll photoshop Gerald out later.

I was sort of back and forth on whether I was going to write this post only because I hate rehashing what already happened, but I’m happy I did it. I can always go back to these days and remember exactly what I was thinking days after it instead of years. If there are any parts I missed, feel free to leave a comment.

I wish Steve and Arpita the best and I’m happy to be their friend. They are first class people all the way.

 

By |2017-10-03T21:48:40-04:00October 3rd, 2017|My Brain|0 Comments

Keep Me Out Of The Sheep Laboratory

Today at 8:10 am I got a from the CEO of Fantasy Labs, Jonathan Bales, about Fantasy Labs being acquired by the Chernin Group.

We are very excited to announce that FantasyLabs has been acquired by The Chernin Group. As part of the deal, The Chernin Group has also purchased sportsbetting analytics companies Sports Insights and SportsAction, as well as hired legend Chad Millman (formerly of ESPN) as Head of Content.

This disappointed me. Why you ask? What has happened with Barstool will take place with Fantasy Labs. If what happens with Barstool happens with labs, dilution will occur. There may be more material, but it won’t be the same because as more people start getting involved, the original team’s ideas start to dissipate and the loyalty that got them there, will spread.

The Chernin Group acquired Barstool and has helped promote them to a more mainstream audience. Prior to Chernin with Barstool, I liked the personal touch of the bloggers from each individual city. It was cool to think that you were a part of your city. I used to feel like I could relate to Smitty. Now he’s just another blogger part of a mainstream sports site with millions of people paying attention to whatever “content” they feel is worth creating. I’m not interested in the weak content that their under qualified staff has to offer on pretty much every topic. I like their Instagram page with people getting hurt and doing dumb stunts, but I won’t click on any Barstool posts on the site unless I’m bored. I’m worried this will occur with Labs.

You pay for these models.

I’ve been a Labs subscriber for about 3 months and feel like I’m a part of the in crowd of DFS. I pay $60 a month for information that the sheep aren’t aware of. Now that the Chernin Group is a part of Labs, more people will subscribe. Chernin isn’t a dumb group. They will blow up a brand using whatever formula that their smart people come up with. This will introduce Labs to millions of meatheads who will pay $60 for the same info I have access to. Does this make me selfish? Of course it does. But that doesn’t mean that what I’m feeling isn’t universal with the current Labs subscriber base.

Evan Silva – Being mainstream and not selling out.

Smart people will go elsewhere. This is the one part of this acquisition that may be overlooked, or perhaps is thought about and weighed as not crucial. Smart people know that they can’t be part of the crowd. Being part of what the crowd does is a sure fire way to forever exist in the crowd. Most people don’t realize they are part of the crowd. It’s not like someone says, “it’s time to go elsewhere.” However, when I see this type of acquisition take place, I know that what may have been on the on-skirts of “the crowd”, has now become “the crowd”. For that I’m disappointed, but can’t fault anyone because selling out is a part of life that is hard to avoid because it’s what you work to get to.

I haven’t made any money using Fantasy Labs. Their models are helpful but they won’t guarantee you success. There is a lot that goes behind making lineups and the main one is having the bankroll to see it through. I’m a rec player and don’t even care about the money won or loss. However, depending on how this acquisition starts to feel, there’s a good chance I’ll take my money elsewhere and see what other “insiders” have to offer. I’m sure I’m part of a minority, but that’s where you want to play from.

By |2017-10-03T13:34:00-04:00October 3rd, 2017|Fantasy|0 Comments

Worst. Loss. Ever.

Starting this post with a guaranteed “like” by Rob Kelley on Twitter.

I bet sports all the time so I know to expect the unexpected. It is almost reasonable to say that you should be chasing the unexpected. Monday Football brought the unexpected and I’m writing about it. Here’s the reaction to the game.

 

Here’s the current betting log and where I stand for the season. It’s done by units and units are 10 dollars. Don’t ask me why but Adam and I think it’s funny.

It stands to say that the Redskins game last night would have been nice to have. Instead I’m coming off a momentum swing that has my head spinning. After the Skins gave up the long play to an Alex Smith at the end of the game to put them in field goal range, I was pretty happy. Overtime was worst case scenario and the FG nails the win. They hit the FG and I turned off the TV and put on my radio because I need 1.5 points from Reed and wanted to hear if he got the last play. When I heard what unraveled, I couldn’t believe my ears. I knew it was a possibility, but after leading for 99.9% of the game, it hurts to lose that one. Redskins were the play and people who took the Chiefs are getting the spoils. In regard to the Jordan Reed point, I’m watching Vernon Davis run wild…WHILE REED ISN’T EVEN HURT. The fuck is that.

 

By |2017-10-03T08:09:50-04:00October 3rd, 2017|Sports|0 Comments

Re-Visiting College

College is a shelter. You don’t realize it while you’re in it, but once you leave for 12 years and gain real life experience, you recognize it for what it is.

These next few days I’m at Cornell University for a slate conference. I had a few minutes to explore and I’m a minority as a 33 year old white male. If you’re a white student here, you’re the minority. I looked at the acceptance rate of Cornell and it was 14%. Combine that with the fact that the school has a 5 billion dollar endowment and you have an elite Ivy league university.

What I see being a decade removed from college is a lot of young people being told that getting their education will help them succeed. I call bullshit. Being a poindexter doesn’t equate to real life success. Being able to talk to another human about their life experiences has far more creedence than learning how to design a program to shoot a rocket into space. Coming back to a college feels like I’m living in a bubble.

I imagine that’s mostly my viewpoint as I hardly use any skills I learned in college. I also think it comes from learning more out of books that I read that out of school that have had far more value in my life. Knowing the equilibrium point of the supply and demand curve has 0 use to me. Knowing how to calm someone down and solving their problem as a consumer isn’t taught at school. It’s learned from real world experience. My perception as I walk around this campus is a lot of young people going through the motion of education. I’m sure they’ll be well off at the end of their lives with 4 years of this studious program. However, recognize that I’m walking around one of the most prestigious universities in our country. What about the other 95% of university students who compete with these nerds?

I can’t offer a solution here. On one hand, teaching humans more than they most likely need to know is helpful. These students have the opportunity of a lifetime with all the resources at their fingertips. There just seems to me to be a disconnect between what is learned in school and what applies in real life. The world doesn’t care that you have a degree from Cornell and earned straight A’s. It cares how resourceful and quick thinking you are in whatever situation you are in. For some reason, being on this campus isn’t making me that these kids are coming out with all the right skills.

By |2017-09-28T09:58:03-04:00September 28th, 2017|My Brain|2 Comments

This Will Make Laura Cry

For some reason I remembered when Howard Stern asked Jerry Seinfeld if he was afraid to die and Jerry was like “no”. That’s probably the best mentality to take when aging because death is inevitable. I look at people know who I’m older than and think, “when did that happen?” Do I wish I was young again? The answer is no. I’m a part of this life exactly like you are part of this life and we all go through it our own way. The shared image above definitely strikes a chord with me though. It’s essentially answering this paragraph.

By |2017-09-26T19:55:54-04:00September 26th, 2017|My Brain|1 Comment

A Profitable Weekend

Aside from going 5-10 in a Pick Em’, not against the spread, I had a pretty good weekend. I played some 1-2 at Sugarhouse on Friday and ended up winning about $500. I was in for $700, so walking out with $1,200 felt pretty good. The next night I broke even in Pai Gow, lost $150 in Blackjack, and then bought into 1-2 again. In similar fashion, I was in for about $500 and walked out about with $1,000. For the amount of money I tip to servers and dealers, I should probably have another $200 in my wallet. Either way it was profitable. Without elaborating much on the session, people look at me as a drunk, loose cannon who is capable of showing up with any 2. This tends to throw them off their games whereas this literally is my game. I get killed in games where people are coming over the top of my loose opens and it causes me to tighten up and essentially be a losing player. In these smaller games, people just let me rule the roost and I win the most pots and show down well when I get my money in.

I also managed to post a win in Draftkings for the first time this year. Sure it was only $30 but at least it was a winning week. I will be going 3-1 in fantasy and a shot at 4-0 if Witten drops less than 4. Combine that with a 3-0 NFL week for 20 units to make up for some goon texting me Eastern Micigan on Saturday and the account is juicing. Going to make a play tonight for at least 10 units and I’m leaning towards the Cards if anyone cares.

I’ll be heading away for a large part of this week so there’s a chance this is the last post until next Monday. We’ll see.

By |2017-09-25T13:30:12-04:00September 25th, 2017|Fantasy|0 Comments
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