So I have this issue where I really have no clue how to make a good smile. The way my face goes with my teeth, which goes with my lip, all concoct into one goofy ass smile. Anytime someone whips out a camera all I can think about is how to not look as retarded as possible. In this post I will display my issues. I know I’m no adonis but I should be able to look half decent in a simple picture. Click on the picture to enlarge to get the full effect.

Me looking as normal as possible, not attempting to smile.

Here’s one of a relatively normal smile.

Now I start to smile too much and I have these massive K9’s that run into my gums which make me look like such a shmohawk.

This one could put me in a mental ward.

Hello Mr. Ed!

This is one where you get the full effect of how sharp and pointy my Dracula fangs are. Too large smiles lead to this.

Finally one where if I could do this every time I wouldn’t have to be self conscious about how I smile.

Basically if you want me in your picture you have to understand that there is a high chance that I ruin the picture. And believe me, I’m certainly not complaining because I lucked out with some intelligence and athleticism, so I can deal with the fact that my smile makes me look like a loon. The drunker I am the better chance of a goofball smile. I remember when they were taking my senior prom picture they took the first shot and looked at the proof and the kid next in line made this horrified face and I can only imagine it was because I gave one of these nut job smiles above. So the next time someone is taking a picture and you have a picture perfect smile, remember some of us aren’t so lucky.