My Brain – Page 26 – We Don't Walk Slow

Let Africa Expand Your Mind

Did you know there are over 173 million people in Nigeria? It’s the 8th most populous nation in the world! Africa as a whole has 1.033 billion people. This is how big Africa is.

My brain knows about 3 facts about the world’s population.

The United States has over 300 million people in it
There are over a billion people in India (1.2) and China (1.3)
There are 750 million people in Europe

Common knowledge is that there are over 7 billion people in the world. Based on my knowledge and this new Africa knowledge, I’ve accounted for about 4.5 billion. This number is difficult to wrap your mind around and I’ll explain why I have a hard time doing it.

People love lists.

1. You’re one person. You think your world is important. It’s not as important as you think.

2. You’re in one area. You think what you’re doing in Philadelphia is important. It’s not important to someone in Japan.

3. When you realize that 7 billion people are all thinking but not coming up with the actual realization of how insignificant they are, you start to understand what’s important and what’s not. I see this thought as more a passing thought and not a life altering thought.

It’s wearing off now, but when I saw that fat man keel over and die, Michael, I realized that we don’t have a lot of time on this earth. We weren’t meant to spend it this way. Human beings weren’t meant to sit in little cubicles, starring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements.

By Tom Stortz|2015-05-12T09:44:39-04:00May 12th, 2015|My Brain|0 Comments

Why I’m Glad To Be Alive in 2015

You can fall. Period.

I’ve learned through Facebook Ads that titles have to appeal to everyone. If this link gets published on my Twitter and Facebook feeds and reads, “Why I think Perfect Dark was better than Goldeneye”, my list of potential readers is Sam, Evan and Alex. If I title it, why I like living, now 100% of people could potentially have an interest.

It’s not fair to make a catchy title and then go off topic so I’m actually going to create a list of reasons why I’m happy to be alive during 2015. This post was inspired after hearing JC tell me that he’s going to take the next year and become a “technology whiz”. This got me thinking that it’s mere chance that you are born in a particular time frame and some are better than others.

Here are my reasons for being in my prime during 2015:

This device I’m talking into is bigger than my head.

Your phone can take picture and video of anything, anytime. I have the ability to share my experiences with anyone who has interest instantly. Only 20 years ago this capability wasn’t available and you’d have to take a picture, get the film developed, then mail it to a friend. Now it takes literally less than a minute to share digital images and video. Sharing information leads to the discovery of more cool shit.
Let me grab the book, it’ll only take a mi…hour.

Information is at your fingertips. If I wanted to get information in 1980 I’d have to visit my library, use the Dewey Decimal System / Card Catalog and them leaf through a book finding the information. Now there is Google. I can’t think of a more powerful means of access than to information. Google makes people smarter. Smarter people lead to the discovery of more cool shit.
Derails aren’t a big deal because the train just takes flight.

Transportation is insane. Are you aware that Elon Musk wants to build a high speed transport that goes 700 mph called the hyperloop? A train that goes 700mph?!?! Cars are just as crazy. Do you realize how relaxed you are to be sitting in a vehicle traveling 80mph, switching the radio, and tweeting at the same time? You’re just sitting in a seat while the world flies by you. It’s head spinning. Let’s not even start on airplanes. The ability of cheap transport is universally appealing because travel allows more people to interact. The more people sharing different ideas leads to the discovery or more cool shit.

This guy gets it.

I don’t think I need paragraphs on Wawa Coffee, Banshee (yes Weens I did like this show but would have actually put Silicon Valley if I was being current), fantasy sports, and more craft beers than you can count. Life is good. I know there are poor people out there who have a tough time in life and it probably sucks not to be privileged. However, one purpose of my life is to give back if I can ever make it myself. For that to happen I need rnningfool.com to start wielding some influence. Oh well. Maybe next life.

By Tom Stortz|2015-05-08T09:41:47-04:00May 8th, 2015|My Brain|3 Comments

What Gives Me Fulfillment

A group of lions is called a pride for a reason. I’m purely guessing it’s this.

It’s written that posts should be aimed at the reader but I’m going to spin this around and write about myself because I can. It’s my blog. Your just on this ride. So sit tight. Buckle up. Enjoy the ride.

What is being fulfilled? It’s satisfaction or happiness as a result of fully developing one’s abilities or character. I’ve recently encountered this 2 times within the last 12 hours which I’ll write about.

Real Life Part 1

I say, “this is how much money you’ll make.”

About a month ago I walked into a paint store in Baltimore and asked to speak to the store manager. I was told to talk to Chris and introduced myself as Tom Stortz. I said, “I have a line of paint scrapers that I think would sell well in your area.” I showed him our sell sheet, a sample, and discussed pricing within the first 2 minutes.

After listening to me, he pulled out a Stortz 150-A (not a paint scraper) and said, “I was cleaning out my attic and came across this tool.” This was a relic from our line that we are actually still producing. He told me he’d give me a shot and purchased a few dozen scrapers. I was happy.

The story doesn’t end there though. Today he re-ordered. Within one month he purchased 3 dozen more scrapers and a smile came over my face. Everyone involved in the transaction is happy. I’m happy because I’m selling a quality product at a profit. He’s happy because he’s making a profit and his customer is equally happy because he is buying a quality tool at a good price. Trifecta.

Real Life Part 2

My second instance came when Mark Gapinski commented on my blog. I’d recently went through a incompatibility issue that messed up some blog settings. I spent a few hours researching and then came back improved over where I was at. I installed a JetPack widget that enabled the Twitter widget again and a few more settings to auto post my entries on Twitter and Facebook.

I wrote a post today, it appeared on Twitter, Mark clicked the link and then commented on the post. I’ve probably met Mark 12 times in my life and we know each other through Sam. My point is that we’re not best friends and he went out of his way to comment on a post. Believe it or not that actually means a lot to me. It essentially takes Mark from one of Sam’s friends to a person who if he was ever in dire need, I’d help him out if he needed help. I know it’s silly but getting interaction through my posts fulfills me.

This has nothing to do with this post, I just felt like sharing.

Everyone feels fulfilled from different activities at different points of their life. Sometimes it feels like I can go weeks without feeling these types of feelings but they do come if you work hard at them. I believe these two tales are tales of hard work and seeing it paid off. That is feeling fulfilled.

By Tom Stortz|2015-05-07T09:49:47-04:00May 6th, 2015|My Brain|1 Comment

I Have Questions, Who Has Answers?

Is Shaq broke?

As of today, Shaq is the joint owner of 155 Five Guys Burgers restaurants, 17 Auntie Annie’s Pretzels restaurants, 150 car washes, 40 24-hour fitness centers, a shopping center, a movie theater, and several Las Vegas nightclubs.

In addition to his business holdings, O’neal still earns $22 million per year (roughly $423,000 per week) from his endorsement deals with Arizona Creme soda, Icy Hot, Gold Bond, Buick, Zales, and at least a half dozen additional corporate sponsors. He is also a studio analyst for TNT.

I’ve questioned this many times as I see that Gold Bond commercial and his analyst role on TNT.

Why do people take 25 napkins from a napkin dispenser?

I was born with the idea that you only take what you need. I’ve seen people take dozens of napkins and stuff them in their pockets. It’s like they are taking them home to share with their entire family which must be huge. This is why the bathrooms have those automatic motion sensors which slowly dispense one towel at a time. No one wants to wave their hand in front of their head 25 times.

Is it important to run in place when stuck at a traffic light on a run?

Only if you want to look like a hobby jogger. I really don’t know what people are thinking when they run in place at a traffic light. There is a 30 second maximum that you’ll be standing still. Do you honestly believe that running in place is going to keep you any fresher than if you just stood there? I have to imagine I’m in the minority on this one but I feel it’s stupid.

Why does our society love horrible sequels?

Jaime Kennedy’s Mask

How have there been 7 Fast and the Furious mades? 3 Takens? 6 Rocky’s (and a 7th being produced)? Fast and the Furious has made a billion dollars. Hangover 2 was the same exact movie as Hangover 1 except in a different location. If people didn’t shell out the money to see them, they wouldn’t exist. I should note that this is coming from someone who saw Dumb and Dumberer in the theaters.

Why do we compare ourselves to our neighbors?

A constant way to feel bad about yourself is finding someone who is “supposedly” better off and comparing yourself to them. Living your life without paying attention to what is happening around you is almost impossible. I see Gourlay following his dream of becoming a ball boy for a soccer team and I’m jealous. How does he get to work so hard and get paid so little? Just kidding, Gourlay. Even so, I still stop a minute and think, “hell, this guy just packed up and is doing something he wants to do while I work day in and out on the same thing I’ve been doing the last 10 years.” I haven’t even seen Asia let alone Africa. I gotta get out of here. To finish this thought it’s also universally acceptable to compare yourself to someone who makes more money than you and hate them for being successful.

By Tom Stortz|2015-05-06T08:58:33-04:00May 6th, 2015|My Brain|3 Comments

MRW #3

When someone grabs your phone and starts scrolling

Sam playing anyone in Guitar Hero

Ian and Steve McGrath saying they’ll beat Sam and I in 2v2 Bball

When people say they don’t read my blog

When I check my bank account after a night at Deliah’s

Philadelphia sports teams

By Tom Stortz|2015-04-28T22:09:43-04:00April 28th, 2015|My Brain|0 Comments

The Verizon Phone Crisis

What Happens When Your Phone Breaks

Not the first time this has happened.

Phones have always been a bit of a problem for me. I’ve cracked screens while drunk, cracked screens while sober, dropped them off my car, ran them through the washer….you name it I’ve gone through it. Considering Verizon only gives an “upgrade” every 2 years, I find myself in a bit of a pickle every so often. I never pay for insurance either because the monthly payment combined with the $100 co-pay doesn’t seem like a good deal. The process begins.

My very first problem is that I really like Verizon. People complain all the time about these big companies but the service is excellent and my bill is under $60 a month for unlimited call and text and 1gb of data. Previously I’d use the “I can go to another provider” in negotiations but the fact of the matter is I can’t get this deal elsewhere (I tried with AT&T and a similar plan was $100 per month). I called Verizon at least 4 times trying to get them to sell me a phone at an upgrade price and had no luck. I tried pretty hard too but I never got to yelling and screaming. I should note I’ve been using Samsung Galaxy S4.

After Breaking Your Phone

I broke my screen while trying to remove it from the charger, fumbled it, and it fell face down cracking the screen. I went to a mall kiosk to get the screen replaced for $110, they used shittier glass and I broke that screen within 1 week by putting too much pressure against it without even realizing it. I got a free replacement of that screen with the intention of turning it in to the Edge program with Verizon which isn’t the greatest deal but I was limited in options. As luck has it, I broke that 2nd screen within another week or so the same way I broke the first one.

Not willing to pay full retail for the same phone I had, the Galaxy S4, or even more for the S5 ($599 retail) or S6 ($699 retail), I went to the black market. Verizon was willing to sell me a refurbished S5 for $419+tax. I did some searching online and came up with an S5 for $279 through a highly rated dealer through Ebay. I was unsure of how the process of buying an “unlocked” phone was but I was assured it was just swapping the SIM card. Out of options, I purchased the refurbished model.

The Galaxy S5

I received the refurbished model yesterday. There were hardly any scratches and it looks like new. It shipped in a white, unmarked box and only contained a charger with it and no instructions. I backed up all my contacts to the cloud on my S4 and removed the sim card. I installed the SIM card to the S5 and powered it up. After some brief installations instructions, I had a brand new phone (to me) that appeared to be working in order.

In less than 10 minutes I had my phone configured to where I was previously. I connected to the WI-FI, handled all the email settings, then started downloading apps. Here are the list of applications I use:

Twitter, Facebook, Spotify, Instagram, Fantasy Baseball & Football, Paypal, Venmo, PNC Mobile, Comcast, HBOGo, Uber, Shazam and SiriusXM

I called Sam and sent him a test to make sure it was connecting and there were no issues. Overall I don’t think the process could have been any easier and I’m incredibly surprised that the SIM card is the key to your entire phone.

People say, “why don’t you get an IPhone?” I’ve read Jobs. Aside from actually using the IPhone, I disagree with the fundamental approach from Apple. They design their products with the need for total control. Google / Andoid is an open source platform. Now IOS may have changed and allows more of an interactive approach from it’s developers but I side more with Google than Apple on this. I fundamentally don’t like Apple. Not saying it’s right or wrong, but I’m entitled to my own opinion on the biggest company in the world.

By Tom Stortz|2015-04-28T09:36:42-04:00April 28th, 2015|My Brain|3 Comments

Fashion, What’s That?

This post came to me while I was choosing a t-shirt to wear yesterday. Normally I don’t think too much about what I’m wearing but then it struck me that if you’re famous, people will actually base their opinions on you by what you wear. You have the power to be a trend setter. My main goal of my fashion is for no one to think about my fashion. Fortunately no one does. This post is dedicated to those people who understand (or don’t) fashion.

Fashion is not a big deal…

The 1600’s cloak was pretty legit.

The 1700’s were pretty formal by my standards.

1900’s Men were getting it together

The 1970’s brought into play the hip.

And the unhip. Is that a bag?

The 80’s not so much.

Lil Kim will forever be remembered for this outfit in 1999. Is that Birdman?

Gaga’s Princess is, uh, nice.

Nicki Minaj’s Little Red Riding Hood

This horse knew he was going to be photographed this day.

Less is more

It’s called Fashion

By Tom Stortz|2015-04-26T18:25:59-04:00April 26th, 2015|My Brain|0 Comments

MRW #2

Waking up after a black out night and remembering the last thing I can.

The girl I’m talking to at the bar mentions her boyfriend.

A restaurant is giving bottomless mimosas and bloody mary’s for $20

I spend two hours on a post that I thought was brilliant and has 0 comments.

What I think I look like when I’ve hit “the zone” of alcohol consumption.

What I actually look like.

By Tom Stortz|2015-04-23T20:40:06-04:00April 23rd, 2015|My Brain|1 Comment

My Reaction When

I know people don’t read Reddit so I’ll use them as my backbone and produce my own MRW’s:

When Amber asks Jkash if he thinks a girl is pretty.

When porn freezes on screen.

When Sam and Gourlay have a combined 16 posts this month.

When the family I’m eating with is about the say Grace.

When the category in trivia is 80’s New Wave Bands.

To the person who Facebook invited all of my friends to an event and not me.

When someone says that Gourlay’s blog is better than Sam’s.

***When Nikkii says she likes my post.***

By Tom Stortz|2015-04-23T16:23:10-04:00April 23rd, 2015|My Brain|4 Comments

A Letter From a Dunkin Customer

Dear Dunkin Donuts (I’ve posted this on their Google Reviews Page),

The line can get very long on mornings and I understand that this causes a rush scenario. It doesn’t help that employee turnover at your location is high and this creates a list of people who have no idea what they’re doing. I have one major gripe though that cannot go unnoticed any longer: My bagel does not get toasted.

The precise amount of toasting.

When you ask me what I want and I say a TOASTED sesame seed bagel with cream cheese my expectations of toasted are seeing some noticeable color change on the bagel. I personally have no problem if the bagel gets toasted up until the point of “burnt”. I’d even accept a hint of brown as being toasted. However, you seem to think that “toasted” means “taken for a ride on a conveyor”. As much as the bagel appreciates going for a ride on a machine before it enters my stomach, this is not doing the job.

Considering I’ve been to other Dunkin establishments, I know this problem is not universal. I actually think other Dunkin bagels that get toasted are delicious. In an effort to speed up the line, this franchise has an unacceptable toasting protocol. This can be rectified by purchasing a new toaster which I believe may be an issue because the dial is actually turned to high. I’ve probably eaten hundreds of bagels from your establishment over the years so this isn’t a fly by night critique. If your coffee wasn’t so addicting I probably would never eat there at all.

Your 2.2 rating with 12 reviews on Google is an indication that you are doing a poor job and this is because of the lack of attention to detail. I personally think you are a solid 3 with room to move to a 4 if you start toasting my bagel. As a shareholder of the company, I hope this comes with peace and love and not me being an asshole.

Written with subjective criticism,

Thomas Stortz

By Tom Stortz|2015-04-22T08:33:28-04:00April 22nd, 2015|My Brain|4 Comments