5 Movie Assholes
A few of my favorite movies contain characters who are complete assholes. It’s much more fun watching assholes than being one. This list comprises 5 of my favorite assholes.
Guy Trilby from Bad Words
Aside from Arrested Development, it’s safe to say this is Jason Bateman’s most likable role. Guy Trilby is a dick. He sets out to accomplish one task and says fuck you to anyone else along the way. He befriends a young boy (a theme in this post) and they have a hot and cold relationship. I’d hardly say the movie was 4 stars but it’s one that you could pick up anywhere and find a few laughs. One of my favorite scenes below.
Chaitainya Chopra: What was the word you spelt to win your regional to get here?
Guy Trilby: I don’t fucking remember. Do you see my eyes closed?
Chaitainya Chopra: Mine was inteligencia.
Guy Trilby: Awesome.
Chaitainya Chopra: Come on, try. How could you forget? It such a special word.
Guy Trilby: It was autofellatio. Okay?
Chaitainya Chopra: Yeah.
Chaitainya Chopra: I’ve never heard of that word. What’s its origin?
Guy Trilby: Loneliness. If you don’t point that curry-hole that way and sit your fucking ass down on that seat, I’m gonna tell the Captain that your bag’s ticking.
Willie Stokes from Bad Santa
An obvious pick on this list and Billy Bob’s finest role. A thieving alcoholic stows away with Thurman Murman for a wild ride that ends with a pink elephant. Willie was big on fornicating with heavy set women in the Big and Tall but that barely nicks the surface of his character. Let’s not forget this dime.
Kid: What are their names?
Willie: Who?
Kid: The Elves.
Willie: Shit, I can’t remember, I think one of them is Sneezy and there’s a Dopey…
Kid: That’s the seven dwarfs!
Willie: You’re shittin’ me? I thought… I was thinking there was a… I don’t know! Fuck, kid; I just call them you know Bub, I call them… I say hey Bub or Chief or whatever the fuck, I tell them to make the god dammed toys.
Willie: What the FUCK is wrong with you? I can’t remember this shit. Does everything with you have to be a fucking test?
Kid: How old are they?
Sack Lodge from Wedding Crashers
Bradley Cooper’s name is actually Sack Lodge in this movie. Although not a huge role in this, he made the most of what he was given. Another movie where Vince Vaughn is referred to as a “big tree”.
“I hunt quail, Jeremy. They’re overpopulated in this region and they’re decimating the grubworm population. You got a fucking problem with that? “
Army Ranger Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade from Scent of a Woman
Hoo-AH!!! Al Pacino plays a blind ex-ranger who befriends a high school boy to take him on a “last” trip. His abrasive attitude gave off an asshole vibe but he shines through in the end. Who lets a blind man drive a Ferrari!
I’m guessing you only posted four to get people to comment?
People are more apt to read a piece if it has a number in it. I’m arbitrarily picking numbers from now on. In all honesty, I had Verbal Kint in the post and deleted him because he didn’t fit the character enough. Unfortunately, I didn’t make another. Derek from Step Brothers is #5.
“Okay, I’m gonna save it with this solo. I’m Derek.
And I can sing high like this
And I can sing high
Jesus!
I also am unsure on the apostrophe for this post. There are multiple characters mentioned but each one is singled out.