Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath – When a body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, IT WILL!!!
Law of Bio-Mechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of Seats at the Theater & Hockey Arena – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or before the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, usually have long gangly legs and stay to the bitter end of the performance.
The Coffee Law – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
The Airplane Coffee Law – As soon as flight attendants start serving coffee during your flight, the plane enters turbulent airspace. Therefore, logically, serving coffee on planes causes turbulence.
Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible IF you don’t know what you are talking about.
Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – In a store if the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. But if you don’t make an appointment, you’ll stay sick.