I come across a load of email signatures in my day to day activities and I usually just overlook them because they are usually pretty generic. Every so often though I catch some that are just plain stupid. Personally, I don’t have any closing like sincerely or best regards because when I finish my emails, that’s it, their done and I close on my last sentence. However the majority of the business world does not agree with this sentiment and I will go over a few of my personal favorites.

Cheers – are we having a beer together? We aren’t drinking buddies and I don’t usually lump business clients and friends together. There are no cheers over emails.

Thanks – I don’t think this should be a closing but rather at the end of the last sentence. I actually don’t really have a problem with this one but I found it running through my emails and figured I’d note it. This doesn’t really bother me.

Warmest Regards – This came from a female so I understand the emotional effort but this is over doing it in a business environment. I’ve seen some regards and best regards and both come across as kind of cheesy to me. Warmest regards makes me think we are looking to get involved romantically. Hilariously enough this companies slogan is “the eager beaver gets the box.” I’d laugh to hard to tell them my thoughts on their slogan.

Take Care – Just completely stands by itself. It’s like a false goodbye that you don’t really mean, so just remove it. I don’t need to be belittled by your falseness of telling me to take care. If you knew me at all you’d know that I don’t know how to take care.

Cordially – How pleasant. Cordially saying goodbye. You are such a nice, well mannered person and I can tell all this from your signature. Baloney.

Ending things abruptly is the way to go in all forms of conversation whether it be email, phone, texts. I use this all the time and it never gets me anywhere. Sometimes I like to think like it creates this sense of mystery but I think most people just think you are a douche bag. Like if I get some random number at the bar and I text them the next day I’ll write something like “last night was a good time but what I’m doing tonight will blow you away.” So they probably read that and think what the fuck is this lunatic talking about. I believe in the keep them on the line waiting for something better but it seems like they wriggle off before I even start reeling. Good analogy, I know.