Eating & Shitting

Eating is something that everyone has to do everyday. Whether you are learning or working in an environment, you will have to get into some sort of an eating routine. This means you will find the places that you like the most and fit them into your schedule. There is something called variety that I completely ignore. I literally eat at 3 places during my work week. A sandwich shop, a pizza place, and JRP. (John’s Roast Pork for the noobs). I only order 2 types of sandwiches, it used to be 3. It’s either a turkey club on white toast and mayo or a jewish hoagie (this spell check is telling me I spelled hoagie wrong) without the kraut. At the pizza place I usually order a chicken bacon ranch pizza or a cheese burger. That’s it. There’s no switching it up because I like what I like. When I was at Pitt I either ate Veracruz quesadillas or Arby’s or Primanti’s. I’d do some variety sometimes but that’s how it’s been throughout my life. Anyone else only pick the same places and then pick the same things day after day? For what it’s worth I like Wendy’s over any other fast food place.

This brings me to shitting. This is a “gross” topic but everyone does it and I want to give my opinion on it. Also everyone knows girls don’t fart or poop so there’s no need to be embarrassed by my crude lingo. Everyone can take a dump but its after that there should be a revolutionized standard. First things first, some people like to put the toilet paper on the roll. No. I feel like such a jackass sitting on the hopper spinning a roll of toilet paper on a roll. I keep the roll on top of the dispenser and unravel manually. Then the next step is folding or crumpling. If you fold, I’m guessing you may have some homosexual tendencies. There is obviously neatness when it comes to rocking a deuce but folding the paper is going over the top. You unravel, crumple and wipe. This next step is where controversy brews. Some people can wipe their ass sitting down. Honestly I have no idea how this happens. Everyone knows, (they actually don’t) that you have to wipe from front to back. If you wipe from back to front you are putting your ball sac into play. This leaves me saying that you have to at least stand up a little bit to wipe properly. Wiping isn’t complete until there is nothing on the toilet paper. My brother said he wipes an extraordinary amount of times and everyone laughed, but at least it gets the job done. I’m going to throw out that average wiping is 5 times but can easily swing higher. That is my opinion on how to successfully take a shit.

Some people might think this is a disgusting topic but I purchased this domain name to write what I think so if you don’t like it then don’t read it.

Completely off topic. I don’t watch the show Lost but it seems completely retarded. I was at the gym watching the show on the treadmill and I assume it was a later episode and all the members are on a plane going back to the island?!?! If you got off the island why the fuck are you going back? I really have no interest in ever watching the show although I know people love it.