MARIAH CAREY HAD TWINS!!!! I’m not sure what the big deal is with this Osama guy but Mariah should be the real news story. It sort of feels like any story other then Osama doesn’t really have any significant meaning. I will however ramble on (nice Led Zeppelin reference used appropriately) with my own shenanigans in this post.

This happens to me so frequently that I had to express my frustration. When I get out of the car, I turn the keys off with my right hand. Now most of the time I have my phone in my right pocket and I’ve learned that you can’t have your phone and keys in the same pocket because the key can potentially go through the screen. I learned this the hard way when I put a golf tee through the screen of my Blackberry. Now I have a Droid with an even bigger screen which poses a greater problem so I’m consciously aware of this dilemma. Anyway, now my keys are in my left pocket and let’s just say I go to wawa and buy some coffee and a sandwich. If I leave the store and hold the coffee and bag with my left hand, it forces me to reach into my left pocket with my right hand and the jean pockets are always really small, tight, and angled (just like cwands) and makes it almost impossible to get out (just like cwands). I know this sounds retarded but it happens to me on a daily basis and it bothers me almost every day.

To the nitwit who can’t put on a coffee lid, you have the ability to ruin my day. I know it’s difficult to tell if the lid is on properly but this is your profession. This should be your #1 priority if this is your job. The fate of an entire day lies in your hands and with great power comes great responsibility. I strongly believed that there should be a screening process for this job and it’s not as simple as people think. The ensuing events of not having a coffee lid on properly can be devastating.

To cap off this post I will give an example of something that happened during golf yesterday. It was me, Bake and Ck4 and we were playing with a guy from Tennessee who was a decent golfer. On hole 11 he took a piss in the woods and came out by saying that he hates it when he takes a leak and dribbles piss all over his pants when he’s finishing up. I look at his crotch and he indeed had a spot of piss. Considering this has happened to me before I certainly wasn’t judging but I like the way he handled it. By pointing out the situation he made certain that everyone was aware of what happened and how we wouldn’t secretly notice and think he was a tard for not knowing how to piss. Zipping up too early is indeed a tough part about being a guy. The dribbling process can take a few moments and the impatient type are going to get piss on their pants more often then not. Just another word from the wise.