I want to party with celeb alcoholics!

With this whole Charlie Sheen spectacle ongoing, I think a good topic is which celebs would you like to hang and get wasted with. As someone who likes to party I think I might be able to spot a few party animals.

Mel Gibson

I’m well aware he’s an anti-semite and I’ve heard the phone calls to Oksana-Grigorieva, the guy is a maniac. He’s made statements about battling alcoholism and I just get the feeling this guy loves to get bombed and do crazy shit. He was banned from driving in Ontario after rear ending someone while drunk. He would drink 5 pints of beer for breakfast while he was shooting a movie. In 2006 he was arrested for a DUI and made the following statement “Fucking Jews…the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.” I have no problem with Jews as most my friends are so I don’t support these statements, but I just think this guy would be a blast to hang out with at the bar. He probably has millions of awesome stories from being in the biz and banging tons of broads. I know he has turned off so many people with his drunken outrages but I feel like he’s probably not a bad person but just says stupid shit when he’s drunk, which I can relate to. Plus he’s William Wallace and you know he’s an awesome talent.

John Daly

This picture says it all because it should make you say wtf. His nickname is “Long John” to which is also hilarious (because of his driving distance off the tee). He came out of the blue in 1991 to win the PGA championship and won the British open in 1995. His personal addictions have gotten in the way and his golf success has been non-existent of late. He claimed he would drink a fifth a day of Jack when he was 23. He also has a drink named after him which is sweet tea-flavored vodka and lemonade. His gambling stories are even better which say he lost 60 million dollars in a 15 year span and 1.5 million in one night playing 5,000 dollar slot machines. I just get the feeling he is an overall likable guy. Just hanging out with him, watching him chain smoke and getting bombed seems like we’d have a lot of fun together. I just feel like his attitude is “I don’t give a fuck, I’ll do what I want.” I bet he’s great in bar fights because after looking at that picture it’s either that or he got in a fight with a cat.

Tara Reid

I bet she is just a sloppy, sloppy drunk. I also don’t think she looks like this anymore but I’d like to hang with the hot Tara and not the plastic surgery gone horribly wrong Tara. I just think she’s really sexy even though I’m probably living in her glory days of American Pie and The Big Lebowski, she can’t look that bad nowadays (she does). She obviously loves to party and I bet she’s banged plenty of celebrities like Sergei Federov and Carson Daly. My feeling is she’d probably get a few drinks in her, talk your head off but she’s guaranteed to put out so it’d be OK. Not bad in my book.

David Hasselhoff

Seriously this guy is fucking awesome. He’s a raging alcoholic and asked his daughter to film him the next time he got out of hand. Apparently (I’ve never seen it) she has footage of him on the floor, shirtless, slurring his words, and eating a cheeseburger. In 2009 he was rushed to the hospital with a BAC of .39! In 2010 he was rushed to the hospital again after a 3 day drinking binge. I don’t know how these celebs go on these multiple day drinking binges because I can never seem to hang past 12+ hours of straight drinking. They must all have been injected with tiger blood. This guy must have such awesome stories about his days on Baywatch and I’ve read he’s huge in Germany that people envy his lifestlye. I think the Hoff would be awesome to sit down at the bar with and have a drink, and another drink, and another drink until we’d both be so shitfaced we wouldn’t remember anything but have the time of our lives. I think guys who can drink as much as these guys do and be as successful as they are is impressive any way you look at it. One of a kind.