Celebrity Jason’s are No Talent AssClowns

I’m not sure why but the first name of Jason has produced some actors who seem to be overly popular for no good reason. These guys fall in my shit list of actors for various reasons that I’m happy to explain.

Jason Segal

Let’s start with Jason Segal being only 31. He’s only 4 years older then me and has accomplished more than I ever will. This is my first reason for resentment. Next, he’s not even very good looking. It’s difficult for me to judge this but he just seems so ordinary and goofy. He was decent in Freaks and Geeks and had some minor roles most notably in Knocked Up, then came his big break in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Here’s my biggest complaint, he wrote the script to the movie and then cast himself the lead where he got to make out with my favorite actress on the planet Kristen Bell. Let’s not forget his other love interest of Mila Kunis wasn’t so bad. His role in the movie just bothered me because she was supposed to be famous and how on Earth would she fall for such a klutz like him unless he wrote himself into the goddamn part. I actually didn’t think he did that bad of a job in that movie because he sort of played himself and didn’t over do it. Which brings me to my next problem with him in I Love You Man. He was cast as a suave, investment banker of sorts. I just thought this was so far from reality that he started to bother me. I still think he can be moderately funny but when I watch movies and the actor bothers me to the point that I can’t focus on the movie because I can’t stop thinking about how much he bothers me, that’s a problem. Now he has this new movie with Cameron Diaz where he is once again the lead. Where did this fame come from? I sincerely hope the movie tanks. Jason Segal, if you ever read this, I don’t dislike you personally and you do absolutely nothing wrong, but your writing of average scripts (Sarah Marshall wasn’t bad) and casting yourself to bang the lead females makes me despise you.

Jason Bateman

First off, look how smug he looks in that picture. Apparently he achieved prominence in the early 2000’s because of Arrested Development. I personally have never seen the show but I hear it has a cult following and I’d assume he was decent in it. However, I’ll review what I’ve seen. I watched the Kingdom and he didn’t get on my nerves at all, I actually thought he was good. In Dodgeball, he was the announcer with Gary Cole and he tried too hard. I know the character was supposed to be trying too hard but I didn’t like it. I watched the movie Extract which was a Mike Judge (Office Space) flick and he can’t carry a lead. He just isn’t that funny. I feel like he’s whining all the time. Next he was in Couples Retreat which sadly to say I saw. Once again this Jason found a way to lay his hands all over my girl Kristen Bell and that immediately puts him on my shitlist. He has Horrible Bosses now which is apparently pretty good but him getting leads just bothers me because he’s a no talent ass clown. Don’t forget that.

Jason Lee

You’ll start to see a trend here. This numnut was romantically linked to Jennifer Love Hewitt in Heartbreakers which was totally not OK. Pictures below to see why Jennifer Love Hewitt in Heartbreakers was the absolute prime of her (physical) career. I’ve always had a problem with Jason Lee though. He was Brody in Mallrats and was ok. He got run over in Enemy of the State. I thought he was really good in Almost Famous. I was happy Stealing Harvard failed. It looks like he got a huge payday from Alvin and the Chipmunks which was probably god awful. Jason Lee doesn’t bother me as much as the other two Jason’s but I don’t really see a huge list of accomplishments. My name is Earl? Somehow I doubt this show is that great as I notice it’s ratings got progressively lower with each year. Sorry Jason, you just happen to be the third Jason I could think of because I certainly wasn’t using Jason Alexander (or Jason Kidd for that matter).

Jennifer Love was my number one for a while back in the early 2000’s. I do like Kristen Bell now but if I gave it some thought I could probably top her if I wanted. I still don’t have much that are better than JLH in her prime years.