Sleep Time

Isn’t it so weird how your body falls asleep. One second you are awake thinking about going to sleep and then some magical thing in your body clicks and you enter into dream world. I’m sure all of you have had these nights where you just lie there and it’s impossible to get yourself to go to sleep. Sometimes I try counting forwards and backwards. Sometimes I envision these sheep jumping over a fence. This is really bizarre but I’ve even closed my eyes and pictured Kristen Bell’s face whizzing towards me. I don’t know why I picked her but she’s the lucky lady. Most of the time when I enter this predicament I just get up and do something because sleeping isn’t happening. I find this happens the most when I take a nap at a weird time or something. I’ve gone through phases of my life where certain requirements are needed for me to go to sleep.

– When I was younger I would always have to have the door open. This changed as I got older and now I can sleep door open or closed. I would feel trapped if the door was closed.

– As a kid I shared bunk beds and always had to be on the top. The lower part of a bunk bed seems like a dungeon and I never found that too accommodating.

– I can sleep in a cold room as long as I have a warm blanket but sleeping in the cold, like shivering cold, can be the pits. Sleeping when it’s hot isn’t nearly as bad but usually not enjoyable.

– I sometimes like sports radio on as I fall asleep. I listen to the conversations, contemplate calling in and then just wimp out. Late night you can get through to the host if you really wanted.

-I also can fall asleep to the TV too which doesn’t bother me much. I also don’t need complete darkness which I’ve noticed some people prefer. I could honestly sleep in the light if I was tired enough.

– I find reading really helps put me to sleep too. If I’m ready to go to sleep but would just lay there, I pick up a book and that will expedite the process.

– I also feel like I’m wasting my time sleeping. Sure it’s enjoyable when your tired but you are only given so many hours on this Earth, why waste them sleeping? My one professor in college said that sleeping is for the weak. I personally just feel better after resting but I have a feeling as I get older I will sleep less and less and become more and more irritated.

– I can only sleep on my back. Stomach sleeping doesn’t happen and I feel awkward on my side. This gets really annoying because when I can’t sleep and I just lay there on my back, I have no place to put my hands. So then I might rest them on my chest and they start feeling my heart beating and that starts freaking me out.

– I really only use 1 pillow. This isn’t like Reuben from Along came Polly. I only need one and probably don’t even need one at all.

– I usually only use the comforter to sleep under because if I sleep under the other sheet on my bed, well then I have to make that part in the morning too. If I just use the comforter, I don’t have to worry about messing up the sheet I’m sleeping on.

– I’ve also read some people need a fan or white noise to go to sleep. I don’t have any need for either of those.

– I’ve been told I snore pretty bad. I think it’s a funny thing because you never know you snore and you just go based on what people say. It’s nothing you can control but I have a feeling it happens to me more so when I’m drinking heavily then on a daily basis, but then again, I have no idea.

– The worst thing about morning wood is that when you are laying on your back, it never goes away. Seriously it can last for what seems like eternity. Once you stand up and then, I assume, gravity starts to take the blood out of your Johnson and it goes away. You can wake up with this huge hard on, which is usually accompanied by some great dream, and then you enter reality and just wish you could go back to dream land. I personally have only had a couple of wet dream experiences in my life and they date way back to my teen years. I just remember them being so embarrassing because you have this goo in your boxers which starts clinging to your legs and then you have to check the bed to see the extent of what just happened. The whole experience is a nightmare (not a great dream) and I think it happens because you don’t bust a nut often enough. The body keeps producing the goo and if you don’t get it out, it does it for you. I was never a bed wetter either which I think help boost my confidence as a lad.

For something that you spend approx 30% of your life doing, I think its a pretty important subject. I wake up more throughout the night now then I used to but I think that just comes with age. I’m sure people out there have wacky things they do before they go to sleep as well so enjoy my personal wackiness.