Lord I Was Born a Gambling Man

Which type of gambler are you?

The Chalk Man

Floyd Mayweather Money

The Money Man will win without getting touched.

You chose Kentucky to win the National Championship.  You know Floyd Mayweather (-210) is going to beat Pacquiao.  The Cavs are going to win it all (21/10) even though Golden State is actually the favorite (9/5).  Either way, you stay with the grain and follow the sharp’s lines because speaking of probability, that’s what is most likely to happen.  This method is by far the safest measure of gambling but most likely won’t yield the highest returns.  You’re essentially fighting the juice and I tip my cap if you can make money this way.

The Long Shot

retarded-horse

“I swear he’s fast.”

You just put $10 dollars on the 5 horse to win at 50-1.  The Sixers are going to win the title in ’16, you can just feel it.  When you have a strong instinctual feeling on an event, you want to get paid in a big way.  Of course this rarely happens but when it does it’s glorious.  You also tend to see more in individuals or teams than what really appears.  It’s a feeling of accomplishment when you predict an occurrence that is unlikely to happen.

The Opposite of the Public

You're taking the Clippers

You’re taking the Clippers

It doesn’t matter what the event is, you want to be on the opposite side against the public.  This tends to happen more often than you think when a line opens and the public pounds one side because it looks to good to be true.  You know what they say, if it’s too good to be true, it probably is.  It’s like when the Pats are playing the Jaguar’s and you see a 10 point line and your eyes jump out of your head.  10 points!!!  The Pats are going to win by 50!  Everyone else believes this and high fiving commences at how easy this money will be.  When the game gets played the Jags inevitably play over their heads and lose by 9 and the public wails in defeat.

The Casino Junkie

Slot WinYou’re down $600 but you know that it’s all about to turn.  If that dealer didn’t hit a 6 card 21 when you doubled down on a 10 to get 20, everything would be peaches.  It’s just a matter of time before your luck turns.   Casino games are just about 50/50 you just have to play the odds.  This person has experienced the worst feeling in the world when you go to the ATM and get rejected because you’ve overdrawn your limit.  Day after casino losses are some of the worst days on Earth.  If you are shaking your head yes, this is you.  A final requisite is that you’ve seen Passenger 57 and you know you always bet on black.

The Best Bettor of Them All

You don’t.

 

By |2015-04-23T10:49:02-04:00April 23rd, 2015|Sports|0 Comments

10/20

I watched the Goonies because I thought it was a movie that I should just know about. There are all kinds of these movies that people talk about and if you’ve never seen them you just feel like a dope. I put the Goonies in this mix just because you hear about it from time to time. Basically this movie is horrendous. What a waste of an hour of a half. The bad guys weren’t. The kids were annoying and the plot was retarded. The fat kid Chunk loves Sloth? How does the Mom give birth to Sloth? Chunk you just met Sloth how can you possibly love him. The whole thing was dumb but most likely because I’m about 10 years older than the target age group.

Californication is nearly the best series on television. Hank acts like a dick and all the girls swoon. He’s got a 23 year old stripper, a beat looking TA and a 40 something milf. Runkle is owning the show and I’m just really entertained with each episode. If you don’t watch this show you really are missing out.

Evan and I bet the over in the Phils game last night which was set at 8.5. I know it’s really sad but I could care less about the Phillies and if I have money on the line I’m rooting for the bet. Rollins saved the bet and got the Phils a W so that was good all around. The thing about the Phillies is that I’m not going to be a bandwagon fa(n)g. I didn’t root for them during the season and I’m certainly not going to start going crazy because they are probably going to the World Series. I’ll enjoy watching the games but I have no rooting interest. People who jump on the Band Wagon are what Holden Caulfield would call phonies. These are the worst types of people and cannot be trusted. If you are behind your team when they blow, then this is your time to cherish. I personally don’t get emotionally attached to sports teams, but that’s just me. I actually find it hard to get emotionally attached to anything because the rollarcoaster to me is not worth it. Flat and boring for me.

By |2016-10-27T22:28:55-04:00October 20th, 2009|Tv|0 Comments

Can you see the real me DR?

This is my first post in more than a week so I’ll fill the people who read this on what I’ve been doing lately. I was in Tampa from Mon of last week till Thursday. I went there for a sheet metal roofing show. I went there by myself and stayed with a guy who was exhibiting at the show. On Mon, there was a company who was hosting a deep sea fishing trip and we were invited. It was the first time I ever had a chance to really catch something and wound up catching 3 fish including a grouper (when I use the terminology ((wrong spelling?)) it makes it seem like I know what I’m talking about). It was actually pretty easy you just hook the bait, drop the line, and wait til the idiot fish catches itself. I had a couple of beers and then we went to a part of Tampa called Eybor. It was pretty dead on a Monday but they had a lot of cigar bars and a mix of crowd from homeless, to grunge, to trance, to fag. I drank a Cuban coffee and smoked a Cuban cigar while there. It was not really my kind of area but I could see how getting wasted and bar hopping would be fun.

Tuesday, the show started so I did that deal for the day. Then we went to an open bar hosted by a magazine afterwards. I pounded 4 Boston lagers in 15 minutes and then we met 3 random bros who ran a multi-million dollar company and spur of the moment decided to go to a first class steak house. These guys we met were real herb-rednecks with engineering backgrounds. Just to give you an idea, they were from Oregon and the one guy owned 50 guns, not to mention he shot a squirrel and then cooked and ate it. The steakhouse we went to was called Bern’s and it really was awesome. The meal was around 75 bucks but that included the steak and some sides so it wasn’t too bad. We got a tour of the kitchen and the wine cellar, which was claimed as the largest privately owned collection. Then we had dessert in this upstairs section with waitresses that were all dimes. After that we had some drinks at the hotel and called it a night.

Wednesday was another day of the show. I woke up at 8:30 and went for a run around Tampa. I honestly love the weather. Waking up early and it being 80 degrees and perfect is my type of weather. After the run I went to the Marriott’s pool and swam for a while. I was all sweaty and it says to shower before going in the pool but I never understood that because I thought that’s what chlorine is for. After that I did the show and we went to another open bar hosted by another company. I think I drank like 10 lagers and then when it closed at 10 switched to straight crown. With a pretty good buzz going I decided that this was my last night and someone told me I should visit Mons Venus. When I’ve had a lot to drink I tend to wander off by myself. So I took a cab to 2001 (which is across the street) and let the party begin. Literally within 30 seconds some fine ass broad convinces me into the backroom. I’m a huge sucker in strip clubs and I think the girls can smell it. Anyway it’s 5 bucks to get in the back and then 25 for a dance that last 2-3 minutes. They are fully topless and bottomless (so they can’t serve alcohol at the bar) and all 8’s or better. This girl is trying to sell me on a 200 buck spaceship ride or 400 for a blastoff where your guess is as good as mine. I figure I’ve only been there 5 minutes and should at least get some bang for my buck. I humor 3 or 4 other girls and get lap dances. One girl, my true love, had the prettiest face and slamming body and if she wasn’t a stripper I think I’d make her my wife Borat style. She told me that there was absolutely no sex in the club no matter what the girls will say. Unfortunately my true love gave the worst lap dance ever but it was OK. I know after reading this I should have some great ending to the story but all I really did was leave and go back to the hotel.

Thursday went quick. I went to the airport. Drank 4 tall beers of Bass and had 2 shots of Johnnie Walker Black at Chile’s and then boarded the plane. I think I snore after I drink a lot so I hope I didn’t while I passed out on the plane. I forgot to write that Jamie Moyer was on my flight going to Tampa. On the way back I was stuck between a dyke and a fatso so I was better off zonked out.

That was the Tampa Trip. Here I am on Tuesday, sitting at work at 5:26 surrounded by lots of work. My dad has a pinched nerve in his spine and is having surgery on Nov 4th. This puts me in the captains chair at work for a while which is going to be stressful. I’ve learned alot since I’ve started and will get good experiencing running the show.

I’ve spent the last few days getting bombed and gambling on sports. I ended up losing whatever roll I had this weekend so that would mean I’m down 250 on the football season. This equates to 50 bucks a week which may sound like a lot, but it does hold it’s entertainment value. I hit a dinger in softball on Saturday because I hit it over this hermaphrodites head in right center. I went to Club Risque on Saturday to blow some more cash and now I’m sitting sober for the next couple days recovering from my 7 day bender. I drank each day for the past 7 days and made multiple poor decisions including a power hour on Saturday at 4pm. Good thing is though that I made it through and am ready for what next week has to offer. A final point, if your life is as entertaining as mind and isn’t costing you a fortune, let me know, because I’ll be living on the streets in no time at this rate.

FYI for your music noobs, the title of this post is from a Who song that everyone should listen too. (The real me)

By |2010-07-08T00:57:36-04:00October 13th, 2009|My Life|0 Comments

Friday 9/11

This will be a good place to keep track of my sports bets to display to myself and anyone else who cares how much of degen I am.
1 bet -$20

I really hate the Steelers. Everything about their fans bothers me. They are on top of the world today because they won a game against a team with a pathetic offense. If I didn’t hex my fantasy kicker Bironas by drafting him, the Titans win that game. Not to mention Hines Ward screwed me over by fumbling at the 5 to cost me the parlay I made. I should have put my betting strategy into play where I reverse pick whoever I think is going to win. I was so sure the Shitty Steelers were going to win by more than 6 that I overruled myself. I only put 100 in my bodog account so I will try to be a little more subdued than usual. However if I wake up drunk on a weekend the possibilities are endless. If anyone ever wants to shoot me some locks, go for it.

On another note, I only drank like 10 beers last night and woke up feeling a bit dehydrated but not that bad. How I drank last night is how I should drink on weekends. I don’t do anything stupid. I can still enjoy myself and it doesn’t cost me 10 bucks per double. I don’t think I would be having as much fun but at least I remember what happened.

I literally have nothing going on right now so don’t expect much from this blog for a while. I should be getting some long runs in because the distance run is Sundays but I did about 8 miles yesterday and felt fine so I think I should be in good shape after a week of not really running hard. Sorry this is boring but my brain is on cruise control.

By |2010-01-27T19:18:52-05:00September 11th, 2009|Sports|0 Comments

Weekend

Pretty tame weekend. Went to Horsham Valley to golf on Friday. I hit the ball reasonably well but my short game still needs some work. I was 93 or 94 which isn’t very good on a par 66 but I did 5 putt a green and give away stroke after stroke. I also played on Sunday at Limeklin. The course is in really good shape and for 30 some dollars after 3:30 was a pretty good deal. We played blue-red and I was able to get off the tee pretty well but had the same issues putting and inside 75 yards. I was 52 on blue and 45 on red for a 97. I decided to drink a 6 pack on the back nine after butchering the blue course. It obviously helped as I was able to string some decent holes together.

I went to the shore on Saturday and then to Ac later in the day. The weather was nice but not quite as warm as I would call ideal. I got some sun though. I dropped a couple hundred in AC playing blackjack. It was one of those sessions where you just can’t get anything going. I don’t think I won 3 hands in a row one time throughout maybe 6 shoes. So it goes.

If you are familiar with the last line of my last paragraph you would guess that I just finished the book slaughterhouse 5 by Kurt Vonnegut. I found the book to be interesting throughout although I bit unusual writing style with all the short, choppy paragraphs. I’m not sure how much I can really write about it because although it kept my interest I didn’t follow the time traveling and the themes behind it. I’ll read the wikipedia page on it but I’m sure I’m a dolt who didn’t get the real messages behind the book.

Other than that I went running both sat and sun for short distances. 4 on Saturday and 6 on Sunday. I literally died on Sunday with 2 miles to go. I don’t know if it was the heat or what but I wasn’t pushing myself that hard but I just lost all strength and stamina at the later part of the run. I’m not too worried though as I will be in shape come May 10th.

By |2011-05-18T22:09:53-04:00April 27th, 2009|My Life|0 Comments

Top Posts

Categories