We Don't Walk Slow

The USA is Fan-Fucking-Tastic

Women’s Gymnastics

Simone winning Gold

Aly Raisman and Simone Biles are en fuego. I knew that Biles won gold in the all-around and Raisman got silver as I was watching last night which is another reason why watching replay sucks. After seeing Aly Raisman’s floor routine I thought to myself “how could anyone do better than that?? Then I saw Biles and was blown away. She is so powerful, gets so much air, and sticks every landing. I see why she’s the best gymnast in the world. First watch a clip of Raisman’s first pass for reference. Now here is Biles routine. And if you have a crush on Aly Raisman, here is further hotness from Aly (NSFW) in the ESPN Body Issue.

Michael Phelps

Jaw dropping and awe inspiring. I know virtually nothing about swimming so I can’t tell if the competition is weak or he is that much better with regard to world times, but what he has done throughout his career might not be matched for a long time. 22 golds! He will win 23 tonight as he’s going off at -300. What an absolute monster in the pool. His parents are dolphins!

Young Phelps

Olympic Golf

Bubba Watson and Greg Louganis

I wrote that the John Deere is such a snoozer because of these Olympics and it’s playing out that way. Draftkings has 47k entries to the Olympic golf tournament. The PGA championship had 83k to give you an idea of it’s relevance to the gambling community. I’d guess the John Deere has 3k.

It’s the early goings but you have Stenson and Rose chasing guys like Marcus Fraser and Thomas Pieters. The USA team is struggling with Kuchar leading the way in 11th currently, Bubba in the middle of the pack, and Reed and Fowler lagging behind. Fortunately there are no cuts.

American Dominance

The medal count looks like this:

Obviously the Americans are dominating swimming and gymnastics. I have a hard time believing they’ll win in events like archery, ping pong, hand ball, and water polo. What it really shows though is the dedication to sports and the ability to train and fight through obstacles. People like Phelps, Ledecky, Biles, and Raisman are created by a devotion to being the best. They have god given abilities that are crafted through a lifetime of work. What you are watching is the result of talent and hard work and America is proving it knows how to create the best athletes on the planet. It’s incredible to watch the ass-kicking they are putting on the rest of the world.

McKayla Maroney

Never leaving the limelight is McKayla and her firm ass.

McKayla’s Amazing Ass

Jordyn “Cry Baby” Wieber

Jordyn Wieber is not crying because she didn’t move on to the finals for all around medal. She’s crying because her hair is pulled so freaking tight that her brain is ready to explode. Plus look at her coach, she doesn’t give a qua. She’s like, yeah you got a 4th place score and for some insane reason each country is only allowed to send 2 gymnasts even though you are obviously more skilled than every other country. For that reason, perhaps it is cry worthy. However, this is the Olympics. You’ve spent 4 years preparing for this and I think it has to be understood that you might not win 8 gold medals like 99% of the athletes there. How about we be happy for our teammate, our captain. I like individual awards as much as the next person but I don’t see it.

A congratulations to Aly Raisman who I watched for all but 3 seconds. She is a non nonsense, get nail that shit and move on type of woman. Her demeanor was seriously bad ass. Plus her parents are completely ape shit. Watching them is a show on its own. It’s funny because you watch these teenage girls and after they start flipping around for a while and you see how strong they are, you think, “hey they look pretty decent.”