What now?

I’ve got a feeling. Not that tonight is gonna be a good night. But that the wheels have been set in motion. I have no idea what’s going to happen but events that have happened in the past few weeks or months will set off the future. I’m not even saying this “thing” will happen to me but things seem to be happening. Business has been pretty slow lately. When you are self employed, it’s up to you to make money. You are the deciding factor on how big your pay check is. The thing is, money isn’t my driving factor. I would rather do something I like doing, make less money, but enjoy life, rather than spend hour after hour doing something that just spends time. I was put into the position of figuring out how to sell hand tools. Hand tools aren’t my interest. I treat them as the product and the goal is to sell as much of the product as possible. Maybe I’d rather spend my time studying financial strategies like covered calls and naked puts. It would beat working if you could figure out how to make money in the market. Maybe I could learn how to buy and sell real estate and make profits understanding the foreclosure system or distressed properties. Maybe I could devote my time to online poker and try to beat what is really just a game. Making a living playing a game beats selling a roofing tool to a contractor trying to make 25%. I’m in no way saying I’m leaving Stortz tools but I regress to, “something is going to happen.”

I can’t really figure out what I’m missing. I feel like Peter Gibbons in Office Space. You go to work everyday to survive. Most people don’t like their job. I’m not sure if they is true or not but I see where it comes from. I’ve been doing this for 4+ years now. To think that I will do this for another 35 is scary at this point. It becomes a routine. I see people on weekdays at 11 am just doing nothing. Walking the streets without a care in the world. Sometimes I think I would like to be that person. I want to be like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty. Give me a job with the least responsibility possible. I want to live as stress free and I want to enjoy myself rather than being a slave to the money and then dying. (verve reference I know) People get families and then the family consumes their life. I think I’m feeling the point where I’ve done the education, I’ve done the next phase of work, and now it’s like “what now”?

*I’m not Nostradamus and I really may have no clue what I’m talking about. Entourage was a 19 minutes joke of an episode. True Blood is good as usual. Weed’s is avg but no where near as good as it was.