Names That Fit A Profession

A name can say a lot about a person. It can describe your nationality, your location, your upbringing, and most notably your profession. A guy named Tex is probably growing up a bit differently than a guy named Ashley. Would Kobe still be Kobe if his name was Ted? Could Erik Everhard be anything other than a pornstar? When a name fits a profession though, you stand a better chance of achieving success. Here are a few professional names that I find particularly fitting.

Chris Moneymaker
His last name is actually Moneymaker. His ancestors made coins from gold and silver and adopted the name. He became an accountant. Who wouldn’t want their accountant having a name like Moneymaker? His name makes you think of profits, cheesy or not. He is differentiating himself with a name this direct and wild. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he happened to win the WSOP in 2003 with a name like that.

Dr. Jeffry Life
The owner of cenegenics
Dr. Jeffry Life is 73 and his body looks like that of a 20 year old. His mission is to sell you a program that promotes a healthy “life”. Makes sense that this would be his last name. A hidden gem about him that I noticed while watching CNN just a few days ago was that Dr. Life is a user of HGH. No wonder this guy is jacked up like no other 70 year old. It’s hard for me to say much about his program knowing so little about it but at least his name gives off the perception of living. If I was 70 and some guy was telling me I could look like this and extend my life, I’d absolutely be interested. Cha-ching for Dr. Life and a great target market. Everyone knows old people have all the money. Everyone also knows Shaq made all his money in college too.

Tiger Woods
Are we really surprised that a guy with the last name Woods is mighty at handling his wood? Makes perfect sense in every facet. The wood is a fundamental club in golf and Tiger just happens to be a master. I’m aware this one is a bit of a stretch but I still think it has to be included. You don’t get too many professionals whose last names jive with the sport equipment they are using. Bat? Ball?

Amy Winehouse
amy winehouse
Is it really a surprise she died of alcohol poisoning? If my last name was Beerroom I’m pretty sure I’d be dead by now as well. She lived up to the expectations of her last name. I’m sure if she’d been names Amy Sweetsound she’d still be around singing today.

Usain Bolt
Bolt of Lightning
He’s fast. He’s fast as lightning. He’s a bolt of lightning. Sometimes you have to save the best for last and he takes the cake. He’s the fastest man who has ever lived and his last name just happens to be something that’s electric fast. You think he’d be able to attain this title with a name like turtle? No offense to Lisa but I don’t think she had what it took for track. Usain Bolt, you hold the best name in sports.

By |2013-03-15T02:58:41-04:00February 8th, 2013|Celeb, My Brain|3 Comments

Current Events

I don’t usually comment on news but there are a few stories I find interesting.

The whole Tiger Woods sex-rehab clinic business. When I brought up that I think the whole idea behind this was for the positive publicity, my friends laughed and thought I was an idiot. Let me just start by saying that everything that Tiger does at this point is being watched so carefully by high priced lawyers and advisers that he isn’t going to make a wrong move. I actually read from TMZ that there was a man who was a Tiger lookalike who was the one staying at the rehab center. I heard that he had something like 14 mistresses during the 5 year marriage to Elin. I also want to point out that I was called crazy when I bet the Sheee a C note that her and Tiger would be together after 5 more years. She vows to stay together even if they weren’t going to live together because she wants her kids to have a father figure. Personally, I don’t understand why she isn’t Elin Woods. I don’t necessarily think the female has to take the guys name but to hyphenate it at least seems more reasonable. The fact that she didn’t, should stand out that she has some underlying issues herself.

The Conan – Jay Leno hoopla is such a joke. Who even watches these guys? Late night TV is so far past it’s prime, I just don’t get it. I am well aware that millions of people tune in but I don’t understand why. I don’t really find these shows funny at all. Shows that try to make jokes out of topical situations for some reason never struck me as amusing. This goes for all late night, the colbert report, the daily show… all of them just seemed really lame to me. I think I don’t like the idea of the show focusing on one main star. It gives the guy a big ego and makes me not like them because they think they are hot shit. To go to all this mess over these clowns is such a fuck up by NBC. They just paid Conan 30+ million to leave and now they want to pay him again to start a new sitcom called Conaco. These guys must have mad MONEY TO BLOW.

I want to add that Mad River should pay me to be a promoter of their Thursday nights. The last two weeks I went it was off the hook. I was recruiting for it on Saturday night and I really think I could get people to go. I’ll see how tomorrow turns out. I asked a few randoms to go last weekend, lord knows I won’t remember them but maybe they’ll remember me. If it turns out to be another hit, I’m going to apply for the position. Another interesting note about Thursday nights is that it was just me and one other Kashub the last two weeks. It’s like a two man wolf pack. I found the ability to approach girls was pretty easy because there is only two of you and not a huge group. There is more mobility and less creepiness. There are downsides however. When one goes to take a piss than the other is left standing by themselves like the lonely loner. Also if I were to get too wasted and leave impromptu, then that leaves the other guy hanging with no clue what’s going on. Plus it’s easier for 2 guys to talk to 3 girls than vice versa. All good things to think about.

Bball game tonight. This is a rare, 2 post in one day, day.

By |2016-11-03T15:22:40-04:00January 27th, 2010|My Life|0 Comments

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