This is my first post in more than a week so I’ll fill the people who read this on what I’ve been doing lately. I was in Tampa from Mon of last week till Thursday. I went there for a sheet metal roofing show. I went there by myself and stayed with a guy who was exhibiting at the show. On Mon, there was a company who was hosting a deep sea fishing trip and we were invited. It was the first time I ever had a chance to really catch something and wound up catching 3 fish including a grouper (when I use the terminology ((wrong spelling?)) it makes it seem like I know what I’m talking about). It was actually pretty easy you just hook the bait, drop the line, and wait til the idiot fish catches itself. I had a couple of beers and then we went to a part of Tampa called Eybor. It was pretty dead on a Monday but they had a lot of cigar bars and a mix of crowd from homeless, to grunge, to trance, to fag. I drank a Cuban coffee and smoked a Cuban cigar while there. It was not really my kind of area but I could see how getting wasted and bar hopping would be fun.
Tuesday, the show started so I did that deal for the day. Then we went to an open bar hosted by a magazine afterwards. I pounded 4 Boston lagers in 15 minutes and then we met 3 random bros who ran a multi-million dollar company and spur of the moment decided to go to a first class steak house. These guys we met were real herb-rednecks with engineering backgrounds. Just to give you an idea, they were from Oregon and the one guy owned 50 guns, not to mention he shot a squirrel and then cooked and ate it. The steakhouse we went to was called Bern’s and it really was awesome. The meal was around 75 bucks but that included the steak and some sides so it wasn’t too bad. We got a tour of the kitchen and the wine cellar, which was claimed as the largest privately owned collection. Then we had dessert in this upstairs section with waitresses that were all dimes. After that we had some drinks at the hotel and called it a night.
Wednesday was another day of the show. I woke up at 8:30 and went for a run around Tampa. I honestly love the weather. Waking up early and it being 80 degrees and perfect is my type of weather. After the run I went to the Marriott’s pool and swam for a while. I was all sweaty and it says to shower before going in the pool but I never understood that because I thought that’s what chlorine is for. After that I did the show and we went to another open bar hosted by another company. I think I drank like 10 lagers and then when it closed at 10 switched to straight crown. With a pretty good buzz going I decided that this was my last night and someone told me I should visit Mons Venus. When I’ve had a lot to drink I tend to wander off by myself. So I took a cab to 2001 (which is across the street) and let the party begin. Literally within 30 seconds some fine ass broad convinces me into the backroom. I’m a huge sucker in strip clubs and I think the girls can smell it. Anyway it’s 5 bucks to get in the back and then 25 for a dance that last 2-3 minutes. They are fully topless and bottomless (so they can’t serve alcohol at the bar) and all 8’s or better. This girl is trying to sell me on a 200 buck spaceship ride or 400 for a blastoff where your guess is as good as mine. I figure I’ve only been there 5 minutes and should at least get some bang for my buck. I humor 3 or 4 other girls and get lap dances. One girl, my true love, had the prettiest face and slamming body and if she wasn’t a stripper I think I’d make her my wife Borat style. She told me that there was absolutely no sex in the club no matter what the girls will say. Unfortunately my true love gave the worst lap dance ever but it was OK. I know after reading this I should have some great ending to the story but all I really did was leave and go back to the hotel.
Thursday went quick. I went to the airport. Drank 4 tall beers of Bass and had 2 shots of Johnnie Walker Black at Chile’s and then boarded the plane. I think I snore after I drink a lot so I hope I didn’t while I passed out on the plane. I forgot to write that Jamie Moyer was on my flight going to Tampa. On the way back I was stuck between a dyke and a fatso so I was better off zonked out.
That was the Tampa Trip. Here I am on Tuesday, sitting at work at 5:26 surrounded by lots of work. My dad has a pinched nerve in his spine and is having surgery on Nov 4th. This puts me in the captains chair at work for a while which is going to be stressful. I’ve learned alot since I’ve started and will get good experiencing running the show.
I’ve spent the last few days getting bombed and gambling on sports. I ended up losing whatever roll I had this weekend so that would mean I’m down 250 on the football season. This equates to 50 bucks a week which may sound like a lot, but it does hold it’s entertainment value. I hit a dinger in softball on Saturday because I hit it over this hermaphrodites head in right center. I went to Club Risque on Saturday to blow some more cash and now I’m sitting sober for the next couple days recovering from my 7 day bender. I drank each day for the past 7 days and made multiple poor decisions including a power hour on Saturday at 4pm. Good thing is though that I made it through and am ready for what next week has to offer. A final point, if your life is as entertaining as mind and isn’t costing you a fortune, let me know, because I’ll be living on the streets in no time at this rate.
FYI for your music noobs, the title of this post is from a Who song that everyone should listen too. (The real me)