Simile is a funny sounding word. That aside, I wanted to go over a few descriptions that use profanity to express something. I’m sure you’ve heard them all before but the worst similes are the ones that don’t make any sense. For example, if it’s a cold day, you’ll hear the phrase, “it’s cold as fuck.” If you are are a person guilty of this type of phrase, you need to put some more thought into what your describing. The idea behind being clever and using a simile is that you are picking something that jives with what you are defining. Some more examples.

Bad – He is old as shit.
Good – He is old as dirt.

Bad – He’s stupid as hell
Good – He’s stupid as Billy Bob in Sling Blade.

Bad – She’s fine as fuck
Good – She’s fine as Gisele Bundchen on her Wedding day.

The simplicity and flow of the poorly represented phrase is probably why it’s used so often. It’s also doesn’t require any thinking when everything can be defined by a curse word. This is however what separates intelligent thought from letting your brain go on cruise control. I’m guilty of doing this pretty often as well because it’s just so much easier to not to be witty. I suppose there is also the idea of trying too hard which would also be bad. I think a happy medium between stupid and clever is ideal for these types of situations. I think I’ve driven the point across and it’s time to end this post. That was boring as shit. Is what I’m referring to even a simile?