The USA is Fan-Fucking-Tastic

Women’s Gymnastics

Simone winning Gold

Simone winning Gold

Aly Raisman and Simone Biles are en fuego. I knew that Biles won gold in the all-around and Raisman got silver as I was watching last night which is another reason why watching replay sucks. After seeing Aly Raisman’s floor routine I thought to myself “how could anyone do better than that?? Then I saw Biles and was blown away. She is so powerful, gets so much air, and sticks every landing. I see why she’s the best gymnast in the world. First watch a clip of Raisman’s first pass for reference. Now here is Biles routine. And if you have a crush on Aly Raisman, here is further hotness from Aly (NSFW) in the ESPN Body Issue.

 

Michael Phelps

160809172558-michael-phelps-cupping-large-169Jaw dropping and awe inspiring. I know virtually nothing about swimming so I can’t tell if the competition is weak or he is that much better with regard to world times, but what he has done throughout his career might not be matched for a long time. 22 golds! He will win 23 tonight as he’s going off at -300. What an absolute monster in the pool. His parents are dolphins!

Young Phelps

 

Olympic Golf

Bubba Watson and Greg Louganis

Bubba Watson and Greg Louganis

I wrote that the John Deere is such a snoozer because of these Olympics and it’s playing out that way. Draftkings has 47k entries to the Olympic golf tournament. The PGA championship had 83k to give you an idea of it’s relevance to the gambling community. I’d guess the John Deere has 3k.

It’s the early goings but you have Stenson and Rose chasing guys like Marcus Fraser and Thomas Pieters. The USA team is struggling with Kuchar leading the way in 11th currently, Bubba in the middle of the pack, and Reed and Fowler lagging behind. Fortunately there are no cuts.

 

American Dominance

The medal count looks like this:

medalcount

Proud-to-be-an-american-flagObviously the Americans are dominating swimming and gymnastics. I have a hard time believing they’ll win in events like archery, ping pong, hand ball, and water polo. What it really shows though is the dedication to sports and the ability to train and fight through obstacles. People like Phelps, Ledecky, Biles, and Raisman are created by a devotion to being the best. They have god given abilities that are crafted through a lifetime of work. What you are watching is the result of talent and hard work and America is proving it knows how to create the best athletes on the planet. It’s incredible to watch the ass-kicking they are putting on the rest of the world.

 

McKayla Maroney

Never leaving the limelight is McKayla and her firm ass.

McKayla’s Amazing Ass

 

 

By |2016-08-12T20:57:33-04:00August 12th, 2016|My Brain|0 Comments

And the Next Celebrity Meltdown Goes To…

Ariel Winter from Modern Family. Before I fully detail this prediction (which is going off at 1-1 right now), it’s important to scour the past for hints of insanity from other meltdowns.

 

McKayla Maroney’s Downward Spiral

Hard to categorize this as a complete meltdown as there haven’t been any internal, or external, reports of it. I also have exactly 0 inside information on the aforementioned meltdown. However, I’m sensing her state of mind through her Twitter and Instagram posts since she rose to Olympic fame. Let’s watch the 4 year cycle:

Picture from the summer of 2012 when she was still training
McKayla After Olympics

Still Olympic Fame with the not impressed face
Hot Young McKayla

The Pinnacle of McKayla taken on 9/4/13
McKayla Maroney Dodger Fan

Still Keeping it Together – 4th of July in 2014 
McKayla's 4th of July

Concert Scene Takes Over and Madness Begins (still brown hair) – April 13, 2015
McKayla at Coachella

Post Boob Job – October, 2015
McKayla Boobs

Drugs Are Bad, MmmmKay – Shortly After the Last Pic
McKayla on Molly

Falling Off the Wagon – March 8th, 2016
Black Hair McKayla

Black Hair Begins – March 20th, 2016
McKayla Bikini

Who Knows What’s Next – June 7th, 2016

Black Hair McKayla Maroney

 

 

Britney Spears Goes Full Cycle (Thankfully)

The most notorious collapse from the queen of pop. She got into all sorts of wild antics like shaving her head, getting hitched in Vegas and then divorced shortly after, marrying her backup dancer Kevin Federline, and stories involving drugs and bizarre parenting. Britney has since returned to prime time with spots on American Idol and making a full revitalization of her life which is wonderful to witness that you can turn it around.

The Hottest Britney in Hit Me Baby One More Time – ’98

Britney Hit Me

Whoops I Did It Again Video – ’00
Britney in Whoops I Did It Again

Still Looking Hot but the Beginning of the Meltdown – ’04
Jan '04 Britney Spears

Britney Shaves Head and Attacks Car With Umbrella – ’07
britneyumbrella

Who Knows What She’s On – ’10
britney-spears2010

Making a Comeback – ’12
Britney Spears at Clive Davis Pre-GRAMMY Gala

Back to Healthy After Much Time (I’d guess) – ’15
britney-spears-mtv-video-music-awards

 

Amanda Bynes Jumps Off Deep End and Lands On Cement

Completely disappearing from the limelight in today’s era, Amanda Bynes had a few weeks of epic proportions that captured the American audience by storm. A beautiful young woman who got her start from All That and grew into a leading lady in films. She started taking crazy pills and never fully recovered.

Looking Hot – 2009
Bynes 2009

Maxim – 2010
Amanda Bynes 2010

Drake Please Murder My Vagina – 2013
Bynes - Drake Please Murder My Vagina

Post Boob Job – 2014
Amanda-Bynes-boob-job

Rough Times – 2014
amanda 2014

Mug Shot – 2014
Amanda Bynes Mugshot 2014

Bynes Doing Better but I Don’t Know If That’s Saying Much – Late 2015
bynes2015

 

Lindsey Lohan Fell the Furthest

Lindsay Lohan was on top of the world after Mean Girls (and even sort of with Herbie even though the movie sucked but she looked good doing it). She went from childhood cutie (remember Parent Trap), to goddess like proportion’s in Mean Girls, to cocaine addicted and DUI getting maniac, to skipping court and serving jail time. She never got back to full health which is sad and shows the dangers of being a childhood star.

The Plastics from Mean Girls -2004
lindsaylohan

Vanity Fair Shoot (Be Hotter, You Can’t)- 2004
june2004

Celebrity Status Takes It’s Toll Quickly – 2005
0337

One of At Least 2 Mugshots – 2007
1363883551_lindsay-lohan-mugshot-2

Riddled in Drugs and Alcohol – 2009
wenn2653215

Wigging It – 2012
lohan2012

Tough To Tell If Things Are Looking Up – 2015
Lindsay-Lohan-2015

 

 

Ariel Winter is My Prediction For Next Complete Meltdown

Better known as Alex Dunphy from Modern Family, Ariel got press for having big boobs and getting them reduced. You’ll notice that most of these meltdowns stem from having big boobs combined with drugs and alcohol. My prediction of her demise begins with the notice of her provocative Instagram pics and Coachella destination (ala McKayla) for partying.  That graduation pic at the end is the cherry on top because who the hell would wear that to graduation? I’m guessing by the time she turns 21, she’ll have at least one DUI. Mark my words.

Talks of Breast Reduction Begin – Jan, 2014
20th Annual SAG Awards - Red Carpet

Modern Family – No Idea Time Frame
9lvmCVW

Bikini Selfies – March ’16
March 2016

Coachella – April ’16
gTasbZY

Beach Time – April ’16
JrscbRe

Her Graduation Picture – July ’16
arielwintergraduation

When it happens, remember this post.

By |2016-10-27T22:35:33-04:00June 22nd, 2016|Celeb|4 Comments

McKayla Maroney Blowing Up the Net

I feel like I’m not doing my job right if I’m not posting this even though it’s about 15 hours after originally posted.

Like…what do I even write? That she most certainly got a boob job? That’s she’s 19 and acting like she’s posting this accidentally? That her dad is ok with his daughter parading herself like a sex icon at 19? Speechless.

69Y3I1w

By |2016-10-28T15:28:32-04:00October 26th, 2015|Celeb|0 Comments

McKayla Needs to be Questioned

If this isn’t the definition of “sex sells” than I must be from a different planet.  Plus where the hell did those boobs come from?

Here’s the kick, she isn’t selling anything! She’s just a hot 19 year old who has this sick body and tortures the internet with tempting pictures. What is her goal here?

  • To stay relevant because she has no talent after gymnastics.
  • Setting herself up for her sex tape.
  • Being a naive 19 year old who doesn’t think men are cranking it to her.

Is she the mastermind behind this or is someone telling her what to do?  I just can’t imagine a 19 year old, silver medal vaulter, saying, “hmmm, I’m going to tease the internet with a picture where I’m bent over showing as much cleavage as possible. (insert cute, diabolical laugh)”  I just can’t put the pieces together.  She’s also always tweeting about church and her righteous morals, so, yeah…

Seriously, though, what a babe.

mckayla-maroney

By |2016-10-28T15:27:48-04:00September 24th, 2015|Celeb|0 Comments

Evolution of the Vault

Difficult to say if I’m posting this because of the fascination with the vault or my fascination with McKayla Maroney.  Either way, isn’t the obvious question why the hell is the woman in 1958 landing sideways?  Put a little effort into it.  I can only imagine what the other contenders looked like.

McKayla Maroney vs 1956 Vault

By |2014-11-30T10:15:44-05:00November 30th, 2014|Sports|0 Comments

McKayla Maroney Working Twitter

Who takes these pics of her? A few months ago there was a big disagreement between Pres and Big Cat from Barstool about whether she knew what she was doing when she was posting all her provocative pictures. Pres thought she absolutely was posting pictures to raise the penis and Big Cat said she was just an immature girl. After this last tweet, Big Cat finally gave in.

The one thing to point out about McKalya is that she won silver in vault at the Olympics. This isn’t some bimbo like Kim Kardashian doing this for the attention. This can however be debated. For me it’s half and half. She’s only 18 and is pretty green to the world so I don’t think she knows exactly what she’s doing. On the other hand, she must love the attention because “she keeps throwing haymakers.” Judge for yourself.

mckaylamaroney

A bit low cut

 

mckaylaatcoachells

That is a sultry look.

mckaylaonabike

Going with the immature side here.

mckaylabikinishot

This is just unfair.

mckaylatights

Makes me think she knows what she’s doing.

mckayla4thofjuly

Haymaker city here.

mckaylalowtop

Why show this much?

 

mckaylapaddleboard

Case closed. She knows.

By |2016-10-28T15:25:26-04:00August 1st, 2014|Boobs|0 Comments

6 “So Hot Right Now” Female Celebs

The female celeb game is constantly changing.  Relevancy is a huge part of whether a celeb is hot right now and it’s almost impossible to always stay popular.  That’s why I’ve scoured the net to find the 6 celebrities who has Mugatu astutely puts it is, “so hot right now.”  You can click on the gallery pics for an enhanced view.

6. Christina Hendricks – I know that a woman is hot when I don’t watch, or have even seen, the show and I’m aware of her existence. Her breasts are amazing. They could be the 2 best boobs on the planet (I’d actually vote for Lucy Pinder). Either way, her red hair makes her unique and the fact that her boobs are as big as her head just inflate her ranking.

Christina Hendricks getting laid

 

5 . Emma Watson – I’m always torn on Emma Watson. In some pictures she looks so bland that I’m not sure what people see in her. Then I see her in some of these pictures and she is kind of hypnotizing. She was pretty good in This is the End and I see how she steals the show on the big screen (I’ve never watched a Harry Potter). She wins the entire nerd class and is their queen.  She will be huge for years to come.

Emma Watson Hot Gif

 

4. Selena Gomez – I’m not a huge Selena fan but she’s a natural beauty. With the Disney background and attachment to Bieber, she is held up on a pedestal for being hot and mediocre. I see her looks fading over time but in the present day, she would probably win in terms of best looking overall.  That face / body combo is just killer.

 

 

3. Mckayla Maroney – Just turned 18 and is a dual threat with a gold medal in the vault and the All-American beauty look. She’s still a child and acts pretty much like a child from what I can tell from her social media. The fact that she is constantly blowing up her instagrams with haymakers (give Pres the credit) on a regular basis makes me wonder how she puts up with the comments these pictures generate.  To be the best in the world at something and have these looks, it isn’t fair.

 

2. Kaley Cuoco – She is on one of the top shows and all eyes are on her. Big Bang added a few hot chicks to try to steal the spotlight and Kaley still shines through. She’s branched off into commercials and I’m sure we’ll see her in more movies in the near future. Her look is beautiful and her body is slamming. It’s a shame she recently got married.

 

 

Incredible Gif

Incredible Gif

 

1. Katy Perry – My number 1 and the web’s clear #1. She is the total package. Her music is consistently topping the charts, she is selling out concerts, she does charitable work, and is idolized by millions of kids. Her 2 weapons are always armed and she utilizes them perfectly. She is on top right now and a clear cut winner. It’s lonely at the top.

 

katyperrymic
katyperryjiggle
katyunderwear
katyroaring

By |2016-10-28T15:26:36-04:00May 6th, 2014|Celeb|0 Comments

5 Scorching Female Celebs of 2013

I’ve comprised a list of who I think are the hottest females on the planet right now. I have a few naughty links within that are NSFW so click at your own accord. These are my top 5.

5. McKayla Maroney
She just turned 18 and I’m using her to springboard this post. It’s not a sick, “what I would do to her now that she’s legal”, it’s more she’s a national treasure and also the hottest girl America has to offer. I follow her on Twitter and she’s constantly posting family garbage but I suppose that makes sense considering she’s 18. A girl whose life is pretty much set. I can’t see her Lindsay Lohan-ing on everyone.

4. Kaley Cuoca
I’ve only watched a few episodes of the Big Bang and she’s the only reason I’d ever watch that show. She’s got the girl next door look, the blonde hair, and cute face steal the show. A kick ass body brings it full circle. The world is her oyster.



3. Erin Andrews
At 35 she looks phenomenal. Her body is what sets her apart from other women but that’s not saying her face isn’t beautiful. She has a smile that lights up the room and the greatest hair on the planet. Not to mention she lives and breathes sports and has a peephole video!


2. Stacy Kiebler
Stacy Keibler has the longest, sexiest legs on the planet. After wowing me on the WWE and an incredible Stuff magazine shoot, she is unforgettable. I think her face could be the #1 of all time. Plus she dates George Clooney and owned Dancing With the Stars. What more do you want?

1. Lucy Pinder
If the rest of the hottest people alive are 10’s, Lucy Pinder is a 12. She is the full package of a female. Not only is she drop dead gorgeous but she takes her clothes off for money. She is the absolute female among females when considering beauty. She is currently the highest paid glamor model which should say something about my claim to how hot she is. There is no more need for ranking, let the pictures do the talking. The best pictures are found NSFW here.

You won’t make it through this video.


Honorable Mention:
Katy Perry, Emily Ratajkowski, Jennifer Love Hewitt

By |2016-10-28T15:23:04-04:00December 9th, 2013|Celeb|2 Comments

McKayla Maroney Should Represent All That’s Right In America

McKaylaHot

My jaw dropped when I saw this picture of McKayla Maroney. I tried to embed the tweet but it wouldn’t let me so I took a screen shot it and posted it which I’m sure is completely illegal. I know this girl is only 17 (4 months to go) but what a fine fox. You’re telling me that not only is she this damn attractive but she’s also THE 2ND BEST VAULTER IN THE WORLD! Looks and talent oozing out of her. She was a god send to this obese and pathetic society of Americans. She should represent our country in every single international matter. We are bombing Syria? Let McKayla inform them. I’d listen to anything she said intently. She is owning Twitter, Instagram, and Keek (like I watch her videos…) right now. I’m well aware this is probably creep status but at this point I don’t even care. This post has my best chance of getting views because this girl is on another level. Barstool refers to her as “bitchface” and I’ve considered boycotting the site because it’s so offensive to something so awesome. If she ran for office, I’d vote for her even if her policies were to exterminate all human beings. Mr & Mrs. Maroney, please have more children.

By |2013-09-05T13:34:24-04:00September 5th, 2013|Sports|0 Comments

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