McDonald’s You Dirty Dog!

What Changes to Expect at McDonald’s

  • McDonald's Logo

    I’m Lovin It

    Change the way it sears its beef so that its burger patties are juicer

  • Warm its burger buns because warm buns = more delicious
  • Build more side by side drive through lanes to speed up service
  • Train employees to increase the accuracy of orders
    • Order takers now must repeat the entire order to customers and ask if it’s correct. Cashiers are then to repeat the first food item in the order and verify its accuracy. “Do this by asking, ‘Hi, does your order include a Big Mac no cheese?’” states a 31-page instruction manual on the new procedures
  • This McDonalds kid gets it

    What Europe thinks America looks like

    Launch a mobile app

  • Expect higher quality food but don’t stray too far from Big Macs and Nuggets which make up 40% of revenue
    • Milk in happy meals will be free of artificial growth hormones
    • Stop selling chicken in the US made from birds raised with antibiotics

 

McDonald’s Quandries

McDonalds is a $93 billion dollar company and its stock is trading near it’s all time high.  With around $27 billion in revenue the last 3 years the company only netted $4.7 BILLION last year vs $5.5 the 2 years before.  This is a cause for concern, due to lack of growth, for the 14,000 stores spread out across the US.  Lets analyze where they are going wrong.

  • Food is unhealthy – Our society has taken a turn towards healthier alternatives and McDonald’s reputation is the Big Mac and nuggets as stated above.  They’ve tried to add healthier options but lets face it, healthy people don’t eat at McDonald’s regardless.  It’s like being a fitness model and walking into Jenny Craig.
  • Reviews like these – I must add that these are not the best areas in Phillymcdonaldsphilly
  • Service like this –  I found this picture on Yelp (there are dozens more) at a McDonalds on Market St (you know, Philly’s central street in Center City) that had this comment:  “This is their definition of a large fries! Ordered 3 large fries and each were not fully filled as promised! Disappointing!”Large Fry at Mcdonalds
  • 1424466706337It’s McDonalds – Since 1940 McDonald’s has been a staple of American culture.  Trying to change it’s image is like steering a thousand foot ship.  It’s known for unhealthy burgers, fattening fries, and huge tooth decaying drinks.  The customers who enjoy McDonalds are the sloth of society.  Sure their breakfast is delicious but people out there are making efforts to steer away from McDonalds.

 

What Should McDonald’s do?

  • Super Size MeThe general stigma is McDonald’s makes you fat.  The food has horrible ingredients and documentaries like Super Size Me have exposed this.  What McDonald’s should do is make a reverse documentary showing how someone can live off McDonald’s and with proper exercise and balance, they can become a contributing member of society.
  • Another obvious place to start is improving the employee morale.  Yes they make minimum wage but after reading those Google reviews, they obviously don’t give a fuck.  This is a huge area to improve although I’m aware that some McDonald’s in nicer areas are probably clean and tidy.
  • New CEO

    New CEO

    It’s time to 180.  Bring back Ronald McDonald as the spokesperson and have him do serious speeches as a clown.  Embace the Big Mac and turn it into the Big Heart Attack.  Offer Chicken Nuggets that ARE ACTUALLY HEALTHY.  Make the drive thru’s have games to play where customer win free food with positive results.  Everyone knows how popular that shitty Monopoly game is where no one ever gets Boardwalk.  Concede to all day breakfast, obviously.

It’s all in the image.  Smarter people than me are working on this issue.  I  personally have no problem with McDonald’s but it would be quite the American tragedy if it were to crumble in bankruptcy (which is certainly not the case).