Is Jennifer Lawrence Happy?

I’m out of my world on this post so just stay with me.

Mockingjay 2 comes out this Friday to much fanfare.  I am not one of them.  This series has been a huge draw in the last 3 years looking to bring in about 1.5 billion dollars.  See for yourself.

hungergamesboxoffice

This post wonders how much Jennifer Lawrence cares about Mockingjay Part 2.

Fact: She Doesn’t

Running Man was ahead of its time in 1989.   Nice idea steal Suzanne Collins

Running Man was ahead of its time in 1989. Nice idea steal Suzanne Collins

How do I know this?  I’ve read the books and know that Mockingjay sucks.  The plot was so bad that I couldn’t even finish it.  The first Hunger Games was a quality book with a modern day Running Man feel to it.  I then read the 2nd which was an exact replica of the first book but with different characters.  The 3rd book is where shit got stupid and Katniss and her makeshift army attacked the capital.  Halfway through the book I realized I didn’t care any longer and put the book down forever.

Totally not shopped

Totally not shopped

I haven’t watched one Hunger Games movie so I shouldn’t be writing this post but I feel like it will still be relevant.  There is no possible way that Part 2 of Mockingjay will be any good because the producers are stretching 1 shitty book into 2 shitty movies which can never be a good idea.  You can see the box office for Mockingjay Part 1 was nearly 100 million dollars less than the first 2 and I’m predicting part 2 will do even worse.  Where does Jennifer Lawrence come in?

Imagine the last 3+ years of her life.  She was probably so pumped to partake in a huge book like the Hunger Games as the lead role, Katniss Everdeen.  Every teenage girl looked up to her and she would be a solid role model for teenagers all over.  The first movie is a smash hit.  The sequel does even better than the first and the stage is set for the finale.  Except one problem, the allure of the series has worn off and they are breaking it down into 2 movies instead of what should be 1.  Now she’s starring in some washed out movie that I imagine no one wants to see.  Do you think she understood the ramifications of signing on to this series?  Does she care?

Solid Photoshop

Solid Photoshop by professionals

Maybe she does.  Maybe the money makes all ok.  I know if it were me I’d be pissed off that I had to work on a shitty movie not just once, but twice.  I suppose the only reason I’m writing this post is because I know how horrible a book Mockingjay was.  To see it be cut up into two parts and released in order to maximize box office revenue and to capitalize on the series success makes me sick.  Jennifer Lawrence is just a bystander who must do as they say.  I feel bad for her.  I probably shouldn’t.

By |2015-11-17T22:34:38-05:00November 17th, 2015|Celeb|0 Comments

Jennifer Lawrence Kisses Natalie Dormer

It moved.

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I like this situation because Natalie Dormer actually moves towards the on the lips kiss. Here it is full speed.

Now tell me that this isn’t a lesbian option that would put ratings through the roof – Sansa and Margaery.

This link is NSFW. It’s the character in GoT who was easily the hottest in Season 5. You can thank me later.

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By |2016-10-28T15:28:38-04:00November 6th, 2015|Celeb|0 Comments

Top 10 Searches of 2014

MRW when seeing a slideshow

MRW when seeing a slideshow

I was immediately disappointed when I clicked on this “Top 10 Searches of 2014” link because it threw a slideshow in my face.  I can’t stand slideshows.  I’m a scroller, not a clicker.  Either way I was intrigued enough to carry on and these are the results.

 

Top 10 Searches of 2014

10. Jennifer Aniston
9. IPhone 6
8. Miley Cyrus
7. Frozen
6. Kim K
5. Kaley Cuoco
4. Jennifer Lawrence
3. Ariana Grande
2. Minecraft
1. Ebola

A quick breakdown shows 6 females, 1 mobile device, 1 movie, 1 game, and 1 disease.

Females

Hot celebs on the beach

Ariana didn’t get the memo and Kaley needs her head examined.

Men and women alike search for females whereas women only search for men.  Men search to ogle sexy celebs and women search to see what they’re wearing and who they’re dating.  Jennifer Aniston has found the fountain of youth.  Miley is a trainwreck that people can’t stop looking at.  Kim K has developed her brand over years of tireless hardwork and effort (of her crew).  Kaley is a question mark for me but I guess a lot of people want to Big Bang her.  Nobody can stop talking about Jennifer Lawrence and her nude pics and the Hunger Games.  Ariana Grande is the hottest thing since sliced bread and wears leotards that ride up her ass all day everyday.  It’s funny how pretty people are more important to the average folk than politics and global affairs.

Mobile Device

iphone6-plus-box-silver-2014IPhone 6 coming in at the #9 spot is impressive because it even makes the list.  With hundreds, if not thousands, of other devices on the market, the wave of information is endless.  Apple has proven it is the leader in terms of brand recognition and quality of device.  It proves the culture of mobile users continues to grow.  In a hard fought market, Apple is leading the way.

Movie

movieindustryrevenueLet’s face it, movies are not getting worse but the draw to see it at a theater is waning.  With only 10 billion in revenue for each of the last 6 years, it is not a growing market.  People are sitting home watching Netflix and purchasing movies on cable.  There is so much entertainment available that the newest movie will be out in 6 months and people are waiting.  I’ve never seen Frozen but I have to think that most of these searches are being done by a younger generation which opens up a huge market for advertisers.

Video Games

minecraftI haven’t played video games like I used to in 10 years.  However I understand the models and to see Minecraft as the #2 search this year is worth dissecting.  Minecraft started out as a free game where users explore a world and gather resources in order to do something that isn’t nearly as awesome as the person playing it thinks.  My roommate in college spent countless hours clicking his mouse over a piece of wood.  The free version has now moved to consoles and converting free users to paying customers proved widely successful.  I have to imagine other video games are only a tad further down on the list but players living in a fantasy world is a concept the population will never tire of.

Disease

ebolaMost searched because it can affect every single person on the planet.  The curiosity of a disease that can kill you once infected is the single most searched term which shouldn’t come as a surprise.  Death is the #1 concern for a human being.  No if, ands, or buts.  Once your dead, you don’t have to worry about anything else.  Causing mass hysteria comes from death.  If a virus hits the internet and shuts it down completely, people may feel like it’s the biggest deal in the world but I promise you the possibility of death brings a whole other dimension.

By |2014-12-03T09:23:01-05:00December 3rd, 2014|My Brain|4 Comments

Jennifer Lawrence Goes to Shop

Hair, waist, boobs, fingers needed work.

Hair, waist, boobs, fingers needed work.

[pullquote align=”center” background=”on”]In Hollywood, I’m obese.  I’m considered a fat actress.  I eat like a caveman.  I’ll be the only actress that doesn’t have anorexia rumors!  I’m never going to starve myself for a part.  I’m invincible.  I don’t want little girls to be like, “Oh, I want to look like Katniss, so I’m going to skip dinner. – Jennifer Lawrence[/pullquote]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After ranking Jennifer Lawrence at #5 on my overrated list, I feel both happy and sad for this display of destruction. On one hand I applaud my assholeness for this Photoshopping work confirming she isn’t a 10 out of 10 which many believe. On the other hand, I completely agree that this society and its journey for perfection is detrimental to all human beings. Like I wrote in the post, Jennifer Lawrence is the hottest girl in your class or workplace, not the hottest in the world and we can’t be shopping the top 1% of females without the other 99% feeling some sort of insecurity.

This photo was taken in 2011 and is resurfacing, I assume, because someone was wise enough to put them into gif format. I’m pretty split on how I feel about shopping good looking people to make them better looking. Be aware that the people who are doing the re-touching are doing it strictly for business purposes. They don’t care about the security level of millions of people, they care about selling magazines, movies, or whatever else they are paid to do. People want to see the best and expect the best. The best rises and the average sinks. If it were the other way and they were putting nasty looking normal people on their cover do you think people would be interested? Obviously not as much. People need to lighten up and be aware that re-touching photos is not going to go away and to not take everything so seriously.

The majority of people are not Hollywood and I think they know it. It’s when people start spazzing out about these types of issues that people even start pondering it. I watched a Charles Manson interview with Geraldo and he said about drug use, “if the Gov’t tells you to not take the red pill, and you weren’t even aware the red pill existed, now you are more apt to take the red pill.” The concept broadly works here. Jennifer Lawrence is hot, they made her hotter to sell more issues, period. I would have no idea that this cover was shopped and I would expect them to shop it. Why not?

Here are some other celeb shop jobs.

Keira Knightley

Boobs sell.

Boobs sell.

Julia Stiles

Hair add and trim.

Hair add and trim.

Madonna

She really scares me.

She really scares me.

George Clooney

Aging is unavoidable.

Aging is unavoidable.

Britney Spears

Tighten up that ass.

Tighten up that ass.

Nic Cage

Now this is proper shopping.

Now this is proper shopping.

By |2013-12-16T20:14:40-05:00December 16th, 2013|Celeb|0 Comments

5 Overrated Female Celebs of 2013

After ranking the #5 hottest female celebs, I wanted to rate the top 5 overrated female celebs. Essentially, they think they are hot, the critics say they are hot, but they aren’t that hot. They aren’t upper echelon attractive when compared to the best. Without further ado, my top 5 overrated female celebs. I’m obviously not picking their best pictures on purpose.

5. Jennifer Lawrence
She has the cute thing going for her but I don’t think she’s sexy. I don’t think her eyes open enough. She’s a pretty girl, but she’s not top 10 hottest girls. She’d be the hottest girl in your class, not in the world.

4. Rihanna
I constantly hear how hot Rihanna is and it most be a race thing. Her face is really wide and her nose is huge. Her hair is always goofy and she looks foreign to me. Not foreign like from another country, but foreign from another planet.

3. Cameron Diaz
Other than the Mask, Cameron has never done it for me. Her short hair in Something About Mary was unsightly. She somehow ascended the ranks of super stardom tricking everyone that she’s good looking. I think what bothers me the most is that she portrays the super hot when it’s obvious to me she isn’t. She’s like a solid 7 pretending in all her films to be a 10.

2. Gisele Bundchen
Tom Brady is better looking than Gisele. She has nice hair but that doesn’t save her from being overrated. I certainly wouldn’t classify Gisele as ugly, she just isn’t as hot as people say. I think it’s that her eyes are too squinty and her nose is big. Tom Brady could have done better.

1. Miley Cyrus
She was rated #1 this year in Maxim’s Top 100 and I can’t see the appeal of the short haired punk chick. She just looks weird and it’s like her body is rail thin and that of a 12 year old boy. The short hair and strange tongue poses is completely unflattering. She can look good, just not usually. 1st ranking deserves the 1st overrated.

Honorable Mention – Katherine Webb, Kate Upton, Emma Stone, Emma Watson

By |2016-10-28T15:26:14-04:00December 10th, 2013|Celeb|1 Comment

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