I hope this post isn’t coming across as preachy but I find the info on point so I wanted to share.
How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
There is one all-important law of human conduct. If we obey that law, we shall almost never get into trouble. In fact, that law, if obeyed, will bring us countless friends an constant happiness. But the very instant we break the law, we shall get into endless trouble. The law is this: Always make the other person feel important. John Dewey, as we have already noted, said that the desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature; and William James said: “The deepest principal in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”
You want the approval of those with whom you come in contact. You want recognition of your true worth. You want a feeling that you are important in your little world. You don’t want to listen to cheap, insincere flattery, but you do crave sincere appreciation.
The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely.
Reviews – “Win Friends”…was published in 1937
“The most successful self-help book of all time… Carnegie has never seemed more relevant” – The Times
“It’s helped me immeasurably in life. I think everyone should read it” Jenny Colgan, Independent on Sunday
“a no-nonsense guide to being a better person…an easy-to-read, practical guide” Spirit and Destiny
Where I Am
I’m not even half finished the book but I learn a new thought with every chapter. It’s not the first self help book I’ve read but it’s easy to read and contains powerful ideas. There are times when you can sense the book’s thoughts working. Let me illustrate (the book uses this frequently):
- I had a conversation with the WB Mason driver who delivers our water. Within 2 minutes of talking, he was telling me about his route and how he came from Marlton and how he knows the out skirts of the city and stays away from Center City.
- The bartender at Fox and Hound gave Shee and I a bill for $42 dollars when it easily should have been $75. It started when I told her it was impressive you could carry 6 steins at a time.
- I talked with a contractor in California about his copper gutters. I sent him a soldering iron that had a leak. He was an engineer in the Navy and ended up writing an email on the make up of the tool and how he fixed it. It was more impressive than what the manufacturer probably has.
- The post I wrote about the stock option and all the fantasy football posts I write fit clearly in the italicized text above. It’s a realization of this is why I write those posts. It’s like, “trust me, you should listen to me. I’M A PEOPLE PERSON.”
A Final Thought
I only wrote a snippet about the book and left out some of the most important aspects. The basic principal is to engage the other person by talking about their interests. This gets dicey. There is a difference between honestly engaging and then engaging because you know how to engage. I’ve walked the line a few times when I’m involved in a conversation and I know I’m taking it too far for the circumstance. It’s a powerful tool to wield. It’s also another reason why I hate sharing info in blogs because people know what I know as I know it.