A Letter From a Dunkin Customer

Dear Dunkin Donuts (I’ve posted this on their Google Reviews Page),

The line can get very long on mornings and I understand that this causes a rush scenario.  It doesn’t help that employee turnover at your location is high and this creates a list of people who have no idea what they’re doing.  I have one major gripe though that cannot go unnoticed any longer:  My bagel does not get toasted.

The precise amount of toasting.

The precise amount of toasting.

When you ask me what I want and I say a TOASTED sesame seed bagel with cream cheese my expectations of toasted are seeing some noticeable color change on the bagel.  I personally have no problem if the bagel gets toasted up until the point of “burnt”.  I’d even accept a hint of brown as being toasted.  However, you seem to think that “toasted” means “taken for a ride on a conveyor”.  As much as the bagel appreciates going for a ride on a machine before it enters my stomach, this is not doing the job.

dunkin-donutsConsidering I’ve been to other Dunkin establishments, I know this problem is not universal.  I actually think other Dunkin bagels that get toasted are delicious.  In an effort to speed up the line, this franchise has an unacceptable toasting protocol.  This can be rectified by purchasing a new toaster which I believe may be an issue because the dial is actually turned to high.  I’ve probably eaten hundreds of bagels from your establishment over the years so this isn’t a fly by night critique.  If your coffee wasn’t so addicting I probably would never eat there at all.

Your 2.2 rating with 12 reviews on Google is an indication that you are doing a poor job and this is because of the lack of attention to detail.  I personally think you are a solid 3 with room to move to a 4 if you start toasting my bagel.  As a shareholder of the company, I hope this comes with peace and love and not me being an asshole.

Written with subjective criticism,

Thomas Stortz



By |2015-04-22T08:33:28-04:00April 22nd, 2015|My Brain|4 Comments


So I’m driving into work and I need to buy a case of water. I go to rite aid and next door (store) over is Dunkin Doughnuts. I was in the mood for a cream cheese sesame seed bagel so I went in. I order the combo and it comes with a coffee. I’m not a coffee drinker but what the hell, today is Friday and let me switch it up. So I drive to work eat my bagel and one glazed doughnut and then get to the coffee. I flip open the sophisticated top and tilt the coffee up and what do you know, the motherfucker is 1200 degrees. It burns the shit out of my tongue and I’m sitting there wondering how in the world do people drink this so hot. Nevertheless, I finish off the coffee with no more taste buds left. Next thing I know the caffeine starts kicking and I have some pep to my step. I start buzzing around the office, answering phones calls, cleaning up anything out of place OCD style, and bouncing off the walls. Wow this is great, I can take on any task, even 3 or 4 all at the same time and nothing can slow me down. That is until the caffeine wears off. I’m sure everyday coffee drinkers just pour another cup and continue on, but being a once in a blue moon drinker, that was it. Now I’m sitting at my desk lethargic and wondering when the day is going to end. I’m not one to get addicted to things. I tend to stay away from anything addictive because it’s usually bad for you. I know it’s fun to do bad things but it most likely won’t end well. I understand how people can’t get through their day without their morning coffee. I do know though that it is not for me. Yes it seems fun and you feel really productive but it would just turn into another bad habit. Once again this will be another addictive substance that I am passing like Tom Brady on. And I just wrote that last sentence and laughed out loud to myself how cheesy it was.
I have a tame weekend coming up. I need to meet a roofing contractor on Saturday morning at 830 so that buzz kills my Friday and I have a German supplier flying in on Monday so I don’t want to go in feeling like shit, so I have decided to take it easy on Saturday too. Hopefully this will be one of my more productive weekends and I can do some holiday shopping and get to the gym or play some ball.

By |2010-01-21T00:31:14-05:00December 4th, 2009|My Life|0 Comments

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