Avoid the Worst Human Feelings

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The Worst Human Feelings

There are times in life where being alive sucks.  We live for the ups and deal with the downs.  Without ever experiencing the downs, you wouldn’t know how good the ups can be.  Here are a few downs in life that should be avoided at all costs.

 

ATM Pain

An-empty-walletThe Roulette wheel just struck red and you were certain you were using your Jedi mind trick to force push it into black.  Adios last 100 dollar bill.   Moths just flew out of your wallet and the strip of your ATM card has been through hell and back.  It’s 2am, you’re 12 beers deep, and now have to stumble to the ATM to get more gambling money.  You go through the process, request money, the machine starts processing your request…..and comes back with the message, “You’ve reached your daily limit.  Not dispensing money.”  Heartbreak.

This pain hits on about 4 key levels of disappointment.

  • The fact that you hit your daily limit means that you’ve already lost whatever your bank allows you to withdraw in a day.  Losing money is always a horrible feeling.
  • The ATM is preventing you from getting more money which means you can’t gamble anymore and the night is essentially over.  I’ve seen people draw against their credit cards and this is always hitting near rock bottom.
  • Problem two about not getting money is that you can’t even get money for normal services like food or taxi.
  • You feel like such a degenerate that the machine had to cut you off.  Anyone around you sees that you can’t get money and your prestige sinks in everyone’s mind.

 

Sports Errors

Barbosa2

Barbosa of the 1950 Brazil World Cup team

Have you heard of Moacyr Barbosa Nascimento?  He was the goalie for the 1950 World Cup Brazil soccer team.  In 50′ Brazil was hosting the World Cup and had built a new stadium to accommodate the huge crowd.  The city was pumped because they were the favorite to win and it was their chance to show the world their domination.  In the final game against Uruguay, goalkeeper Barbosa let in 2 goals and Brazil suffered defeat 2-1.  He was forever shunned and hated in Brazil for giving up “soft” goals.   This isn’t fair.

Bill Buckner.  Chris Webber.  Scott Norwood.  The names are endless for players’s mistakes made in sports that cost their team championships.  It’s horrible because FANS place the entire blame on this one person for the team losing.  This player is saddled with this mistake for the rest of their lives.  I get disappointed when I make an error in an intramural game, I can only imagine doing it on a world scale and having people hate me for it.  LACES OUT!

 

The Blackout Conversation

“Last night was crazy, huh?”

“Yep. Pretty wild.”

“Yea…we were all pretty shit faced, right?”

“Haha, yeah man, you were completely gone.”

“Heh….yeah, I didn’t do anything stupid did I?”

 

The-Hangover-Blacking-OutI’ve been there countless times where I wake up in my bed and have no idea how I got there.  My head is aching and I’m happy to be alive and awake.  My mind immediately goes into the last waking memory I have.  I know it’s trouble when the last thing I remember is not going to the bar when I know the plan was to go to the bar.  Blacking out is easily one of the scariest moments because ANYTHING can happen.  You can’t dismiss any possibility.  It’s one thing when you only embarrass yourself, but when you start affecting other people’s world’s with your antics, this is when the shame really starts to hit.  Never fun.

By |2014-05-23T10:48:13-04:00May 23rd, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

The Alcohol Induced Blackout

I was able to make the Seinfeld post in about 10 minutes yesterday.  As I feel I’ve gotten better at blogging, the length of time to create each post has increased to sometimes over an hour per post.  I need to spend that much time on each post if I want to continue to raise this blog’s bar.  Needless to say, to me at least, I haven’t been putting time into posting these past few days for reasons which I will explain in this also not stellar post.

On Saturday, after my awesome Friday, I was feeling pretty hyped for the Eagles game.  The plan was to go out to Center City and watch the games with the local crowd.  It was around 3 and I put 100 bucks of action on the Chiefs feeling pretty pumped about the layout of the day.  I bought a fifth of Goose and headed over Evan’s.  I incorrectly thought to myself that it makes sense to get a nice buzz before the bar so I don’t have to spend as much cash because Center City bars can add up over hours.  I downed 2 Goose and pineapple juice and headed to the bar with Evan, the Shee, Jeff, and Julia to meet up with the McGrath’s and other people we know.  If you saw the game on Saturday you’d know that Chiefs lost a thriller to the Colts.  My plan was to place the winnings on the Eagles if I won so this actually wasn’t as unfortunate as it seemed.  We were pounding pitchers of Lager at a bar called O’Sheas.  I recall doing one shot of Fireball and preparing for the game to start and then everything went blank.

Shot-Glass-6-30-11-2

I woke up in my bed the next morning unsure if the Eagles won or not.  I had slept on all my clothes that I had laid out on my bed from the wash the previous day and thought, “what the fuck happened?”  I was searching my brain for some recollection of anything and I’ll I could come up with was some Eagles chants led by Steve and the Fly Eagles Fly song.  It was in my mind the Eagles didn’t win but I could hardly remember watching any actual action.  Since I’m not a noob to this situation which closely resembles The Hangover, I started searching for clues.  No injuries, check.  One text saying, “where are you?.   American Express card in the actual money portion of the wallet instead of its slot and 0 dollars in my wallet.  It could be worse.  It was 12 pm and I couldn’t move so I watched the Negotiator for a bit before making myself move.   I contacted Evan and told him I was coming over to retrieve my car which I left parked in his lot which is the safe play.  I took a taxi over and asked, “what happened last night?”

He said I didn’t come out to the bar after the game and that was it.  Nothing irregular.  Now I was stumped.  I’ve been in these situations before and they rarely ever, perhaps never, work out this well.  When I can’t piece 3+ hours of my life together, bad things happen.  This was indeed a memory blackout which is the inability to recall events, not a loss of consciousness as a result of drinking too much.  I’ve gone through my 20’s blacking out more times than I can count and for the past year or two I’ve done a much better job of leaving the bar or party before reaching this point.  This feeling is completely unsettling.  I did learn one thing from Evan though that I hadn’t known, he told me we did at least 4 shots together.  I remembered 0.

blackout

At Evan’s, we watched some of the game (which is incredibly slow compared to RedZone) and I left after the first game.  I ate a Wawa club sandwich and drank a coffee before I headed home.  At this point I felt like complete poop and started chugging water to help reduce this horrific feeling.  Over and over in mind I tried to piece together things I said or did but it’s like a black hole.  The above picture isn’t a joke, you literally move from one place to the next with no concept of time.  I laid in bed the rest of the night and went to sleep feeling lousy.

The next morning I awoke with a dry mouth and completely cranky for a Monday.  I read online that this was the worst day of the year for most people because the holidays were over and it’s winter and a new start to work.  I agreed.  Throughout the day I continued to chug water but it was to no avail.  I would drink a bottle and then have to take a piss 10 minutes later.  This is the effect of too much alcohol in your system and your kidneys still trying to recover.   Your body doesn’t get hydrated by water.  There is nothing to do other than tough it out.  I probably urinated a dozen times throughout the day trying to hydrate.  I was tired the entire day and when night came I wanted to sleep but the alcohol fucks with your system and makes you fatigued but actual sleep is difficult.  I caught a few hours off and on and when I woke up today I felt slightly better.  My mouth was (is) still dry but at least I know I’m feeling more like myself.  I was able to navigate the day and get to where I am now.

Back in 06', a college fall that resulted in a chipping my front two teeth and needing a root canal and crowns.

Back in 06′, a post-college fall that resulted in chipping my front two teeth and needing a root canal and crowns.

I write this post to explain the dangers of drinking too much and the physical aftermath of blacking out.  I’ve had previous instances of blacking out and doing substantial damage to myself.  For the past few years I’ve done a much better job of not getting myself in those situations but last Saturday was a clear cut hazardous situation.  The absolute amazing thing is that the people I was with for those few hours weren’t exactly aware that I was black out drunk.  They said I was acting drunk obviously but nothing out of the ordinary which shows that you can be black out drunk and still be actively conscious.  To me this is incredible.  After this instance I read a reddit post on blacking out and a poster said to think of your body as a water pail and filling it up with water.  Once the water (alcohol) overflows the pail, your body starts shutting down the less important functions such as memory.   I still am in shock that nothing happened and am expecting a bomb of news any time.

hangover_analysis

It’s a potentially fatal way to live life.  When I throw hard alcohol into the mix, I ask for trouble.  I rarely throw up from the alcohol anymore and my body just handles it which means I am more likely to black out.  This obviously has me considering why I drink and it’s an age old question for me.  Completely cold turkey is the only way.  My character and genetics don’t allow me to have 2 drinks and call it a night.  I may be fine 100 times in a row but at any one time alcohol can be treacherous.  Does this mean that I’ll stop completely?  Probably not.  I know that sounds ridiculous after reading this post but this post isn’t just about me.  It’s about any single person who this happens to and it happens to millions throughout the year.  By posting this I hope to educate the process of how it happens and the aftermath.  If you encounter someone who can’t take care of themselves, getting them to safety is crucial, drunk accidents are no joke.  Trust me, I know.

It took me 3 straight days to recover from this and I’m still not 100%.  Tomorrow though I should feel normal and return to actively posting.  I honestly can’t think properly under these conditions.  It affects my entire life negatively.

By |2014-01-07T23:55:58-05:00January 7th, 2014|My Life|0 Comments

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