Lord I Was Born a Gambling Man

Which type of gambler are you?

The Chalk Man

Floyd Mayweather Money

The Money Man will win without getting touched.

You chose Kentucky to win the National Championship.  You know Floyd Mayweather (-210) is going to beat Pacquiao.  The Cavs are going to win it all (21/10) even though Golden State is actually the favorite (9/5).  Either way, you stay with the grain and follow the sharp’s lines because speaking of probability, that’s what is most likely to happen.  This method is by far the safest measure of gambling but most likely won’t yield the highest returns.  You’re essentially fighting the juice and I tip my cap if you can make money this way.

The Long Shot

retarded-horse

“I swear he’s fast.”

You just put $10 dollars on the 5 horse to win at 50-1.  The Sixers are going to win the title in ’16, you can just feel it.  When you have a strong instinctual feeling on an event, you want to get paid in a big way.  Of course this rarely happens but when it does it’s glorious.  You also tend to see more in individuals or teams than what really appears.  It’s a feeling of accomplishment when you predict an occurrence that is unlikely to happen.

The Opposite of the Public

You're taking the Clippers

You’re taking the Clippers

It doesn’t matter what the event is, you want to be on the opposite side against the public.  This tends to happen more often than you think when a line opens and the public pounds one side because it looks to good to be true.  You know what they say, if it’s too good to be true, it probably is.  It’s like when the Pats are playing the Jaguar’s and you see a 10 point line and your eyes jump out of your head.  10 points!!!  The Pats are going to win by 50!  Everyone else believes this and high fiving commences at how easy this money will be.  When the game gets played the Jags inevitably play over their heads and lose by 9 and the public wails in defeat.

The Casino Junkie

Slot WinYou’re down $600 but you know that it’s all about to turn.  If that dealer didn’t hit a 6 card 21 when you doubled down on a 10 to get 20, everything would be peaches.  It’s just a matter of time before your luck turns.   Casino games are just about 50/50 you just have to play the odds.  This person has experienced the worst feeling in the world when you go to the ATM and get rejected because you’ve overdrawn your limit.  Day after casino losses are some of the worst days on Earth.  If you are shaking your head yes, this is you.  A final requisite is that you’ve seen Passenger 57 and you know you always bet on black.

The Best Bettor of Them All

You don’t.