Awkward Interactions with Girls

Even spelling awkward is awkward.   Laura sent me an email with the subject line “immediately thought of you” with this link.  I viewed the site and understood why she would think of me.

Physical contact with other people is difficult.  I’m not sure if other people have no problem with it but I’ve had 3 encounters recently that had me shaking my head.

hug1) I side hugged two people with a sweaty shirt on.  I went for a run yesterday and took a shower before I was going out to SIPS (SIPS is a Philadelphia “event” where 80 bars and restaurants pretend to offer specials from 5-7).  It was a hot run and after the shower I was still sweating.  I was in a bit of a rush to get there and my body was still heated.  I dressed as light as I could with a t-shirt and shorts but I hadn’t given it enough time.  My back started sweating through and even though it wasn’t ridiculous, I noticed it.

So I get to an outdoor bar and head to a table with Evan and two girls who I knew.  I’ve met the girls enough times to know that we are in hugging territory but with this back sweat, I had to be cautious.  So when I’m going in for the hug, the entire I’m thinking, “I feel bad you have to hug my sweaty shirt unbeknownst to you.”  I side hugged them though trying to make as little contact as possible.  The side hug is a weird ass hug to begin with and now my sweat shirt throws a monkey wrench that I have to deal with.  Most likely the girls had no idea this even occurred but this post only tells the truth.

awkwardcat2) A bizarre face touch hug – Same person as the sweat hug.  She is making goodbye hugs and I’m sitting on a tall bar stool.  I wasn’t sure if I should stand up or not to say goodbye.  In the few seconds I had to decide whether I should stand up, I decided I should stand up.  So I push my chair back and the table is at an awkward angle in regard to how she is coming in for a hug.  So she starts the motion forward and this is where I’m not even sure what happened.  I must have noticed a tilt to her head so I started turning my head and as the hug got closer, SHE STARTED TURNING HER HEAD.  Our faces collided and I started cracking up.  I tried to play it off but we both knew that hugs aren’t supposed to work that way.

idontknow3) Not remember a name of someone you know you have met a dozen times – I go to a social function and a girl who I recognize, and am Facebook friends with, sees me and says boldly and loudly, HEY TOM!  Fuck.  The way a computer database scans files is what my brain was doing looking for this name.  I came across the name Danielle and said, “hey Danielle.”  I said it really softly because I knew I wasn’t 100% on it and I’m not sure she caught it or not.  After I few moments of staring at her blankly, I walked away.  A few minutes later someone else introduced her to friends as “Amanda.”  Welp, Danielle and I aren’t as close as I thought.