So you’ve come to my web page and alas you see some new material. My time being a waste of life has finally ended and now it’s time to get back to the real world. During the last 10+ days of doing nothing I really have no new material, nothing noteworthy anyhow. I personally don’t think anyone cares about how much money I lost gambling or how many beer pong games were played or how many quarters made in a row. It’s all the same shit that I’ve been writing about since this blog’s conception. Yes, I almost finished a fifth of goose in about a 5 hour span that ended me at the asian massage parlor. Yes, there was a night of 151 that had me acting like a buffoon and staying up to 5:30 am after a 3 hour poker session of playing like a maniac and then calling escorts and being too chicken to follow through. I spent one night next to the toilet literally paralyzed and unable to make myself throw up or move. I didn’t yack once the entire break and my body paid the price. One last comment on these unblogworthy (yes I do believe this) events. One of my friends once said to me that New Years Eve is the night the amateurs come out to drink, and if that pertains to you and you puked because you drank too much, I just want say nice work because it’s nice to get this drunk to join the serious alcoholics for a change.
On to the title of this post. The sad, the mad, and the glad are the stages that an alcoholic faces when benders like these come to an end. I personally don’t think I’m a full blown alcoholic but when I have 10 days and no work to worry about, I certainly become one for this period of time. I probably had more than 6 beers on 9 of the days and more than 12 on 5 of them. People who don’t drink like this don’t really understand alcohol’s lingering effect on the body. The once in a while drinker may take a night and get out of control but that’s all their body can really take. They have a hangover and feel like shit the next day which usually will curtail the next nights drinking effort. For people like me, the body has been trained through years of hard work of continuous drinking. So towards the end of this break, (after the 151 night) I was stopped. My body said no more.
I tell people that I feel sad and feel like crying and I don’t think they really understand what that I’m being serious. This means the alcohol has left me in a depressed state where I’ve come to realization that the break is over, work starts soon, and my body has said enough’s enough. I literally piss out a color of goldenrod (the toxins) because I’m so dehydrated that it wasn’t till today that I start to get back to normal (3 days). So when I tell people that I’m sad, I’m not kidding because this is how alcohol makes you feel.
The mad comes out today. Today was the first day of work. I woke up at 7 and left work after 5. The phone rang 20 times and there were people at the door and year had to be closed and shit needed to get caught up on. After feeling like shit at the end of the break, you are thrown into the work world after a hiatus of doing nothing. Generally these days don’t end on good notes and puts me in a pissy mood. Fortunately I was able to go to the gym and watch sling blade which made it a little better. This mad stage will end today as I have cleansed the depressing toxins out and gotten through the bullshit surrounding day 1.
Tomorrow I will enter the glad. I feel good again. I’m sober and cleaned up and for the next 5 days I’ll hit the gym and get myself back into the shape I should be if it wasn’t for consuming all that beer. The sad, the mad, and the glad, don’t usually hit on regular work weeks. There isn’t enough time for drinking on the weekends to fuck me up that badly. It’s on these breaks where it’s possible to drink many nights in a row. Most people who read this will have no idea what I’m talking about because they don’t abuse their bodies with alcohol like I do. But I just gave you my first hand account of what goes through my mind when I treat my body like shit. I personally don’t recommend it because it isn’t fun. It’s fun in the process, but you pay for the aftermath. I actually consider giving up alcohol or going to therapy after breaks like this to show you how whack it makes me.
Before I end this, and to go a bit off topic, I just wanted to give my thoughts on the new year. First and foremost I am so fucking sick of hearing people wish other people a happy new year. The new year was on the first and it’s already the 4th and I still hear people wishing other people a happy new year. Do you think people really mean it or is it just something to say? “Hey John Doe, Happy New Year!” (because this is your best chance to be happy before the fucked up shit starts happening during the rest of the year.) I brought in my new year off a bender and feeling like shit, I don’t know what was too happy about it. Is the New Year a reset button? Now all the lazy people can make resolutions about going to the gym and not eating as unhealthy because they are given a brand new start because it’s the new year. Newsflash, you had all of last year to do these things and don’t forget the year before that, and that. Besides finding ways to make more money and lowering my golf handicap, I’m content. I’ll be in a good mood for the next couple of days so if you want anything from me, now’s the time.