My Hangover Status

I suggest you read this post at buzzfeed to fully grasp where I’m coming from. This description of the 9 hangovers was pretty on point for me. I’ve probably experienced them all but have some that tend to hit me more than others. If you don’t read this at buzzfeed, you won’t understand the full description.

1. The Basic

Mild nausea, mental and physical slowness

Mild nausea, mental and physical slowness

I rarely get the basic. One or two beers doesn’t hit me and once I hit 6-7, I’m going for gold.

 

2. The What Have I Done

Paranoia, self-loathing

Paranoia, self-loathing

This feeling is always the worst. You know you did something but are unsure of what. Anyone you come in contact with you are always wondering in the back of your mind if they hate you for something you did. Lots of apologizing usually follows this except you don’t know who to apologize to so you just hit everyone.

 

3. The Total Blackout

Complete memory loss

Complete memory loss

2 and 3 go hand in hand for me. When I was younger I’d be black out drunk from 10pm to 2am. Now I tend to leave the bar by 12 because I’m an old man to prevent this. Either way this feeling is one of the worst because of the uncertainty and danger that arises with it. Believe me, I know.

 

4. The Physical

Headache, vomiting, diarrhea

Headache, vomiting, diarrhea

Never had this problem.

 

5. The False Dawn

Excessive joy, followed by a terrible low

Excessive joy, followed by a terrible low

The wise alcoholic knows that waking up feeling good is always bad. Whenever this happens to me it’s usually when I know I can be worthless for the day and I keep drinking immediately.

 

6. The Existential Crisis

Depression, pessimism, nihilism, taking a long, hard look at yourself

Depression, pessimism, nihilism, taking a long, hard look at yourself

I live in this phase on Sundays. I swear off drinking and tell myself I’m going to turn it around. This description fit me to a T. C. I’d like to think that hitting this hangover would mean that you recognize what is happening but the toxins from alcohol induce this horrible feeling in yourself. It’s a horrible way to go through life but unavoidable if you are going to drink in excess.

 

7. The Rage

Extreme irritation, loss of patience, violent visions

Extreme irritation, loss of patience, violent visions

Not too much of an issue for me. I’m always way madder at myself.

 

8. The Apocalypse

Everything

Everything

Once again, not really an issue. I’ve put so much alcohol into my system that it’s rare that I’ll be completely dysfunctional. It does happen from time to time but I think this happens to people who drink too much every so often instead of alcoholics who drink too much every weekend.

 

9. The Pardon

Joy, peace, smugness

Joy, peace, smugness

I get this sometime when I know I drank a lot and should feel terrible but oddly enough am ok. I’d say this happens about 3% of the time I drink too much. Very rarely because alcohol knows it needs to punish the sinners.