Tom Stortz’s 4 Year Time Spans

I think that people’s lives can be broken down into stages that last 4 years. First you have middle school (3 years, whatever), high school, college, work and then ? Basically your beginning years are just blah. You do whatever grown ups tell you to do and you don’t realize it at the time but these are awesome years because you have no responsibilities and people are constantly taking care of you. Then you hit middle school where the selection process begins. The only point of middle school is to separate the retards, geeks, nubs, goths, jocks, and brains. You begin to find your place in society. Then high school comes and things really aren’t that important yet but your main goal is to get into college and start to know what adult fun it. You do your best not to fuck things up with DUI’s and misconduct so that you can start with a clean slate in college. Where I was brought up most people are able to get into college and start the next 4 year process. College is where the partying begins. No one is there to tell you what to do and you get your first chance to really live on your own. College is supposed to prepare you to get a job but unless you are dedicated, it’s mostly just a time to get wasted regularly. Without realizing it, these are the best years of all the stages. You are young, don’t need much to survive, and are surrounded by people trying to do the same as you. This time passes in a blink of an eye and “I want to go back, go back, cause I’m feeling so much older, but I can’t go back, I know.” ( It’s an eddie money song for all the dolts) And that brings me to the next paragraph.

I have just finished the next stage. I’ve been a working person for 4 years and about 3 months and something just told me I’ve left the next life stage. I started working 1 week out of college and have not taken anything off outside of a one week vacation each year. Sure I take days off or leave early from time to time but it’s been one continuous 4 year loop. At 25, I’m leaving this stage which is probably earlier than most because my parents decided it was good to put me in kindergarten so I could be the runt of the grade. In this time you learn what it takes to be responsible. You make money, which means you can buy nicer things. You learn how to pay for things on your own and spend foolishly. You are still young enough to party at bars without people looking at you funny but I’m noticing that people are looking younger and younger while I’m getting older and “shorter of breath and one day closer to death” (Pink Floyd for the people living in a cave). I’ve still been getting as fucked up as ever but something in my internal clock just told me that it’s time to give it up for the next phase.

The next phase is relationship coupled with a family. This is honestly the most horrifying phase. Some people seem to be so eager to get married and have kids because I guess they figure they don’t know what else to do with themselves. I don’t want responsibility. I like hitting on hot bartenders and acting like a complete goon (going after the bartender is good trick because they can’t escape). Everything changes once you have someone who has a vested interest in your well being and a shot at half your loot. Getting married early is like asking for extra years to consider a divorce. Which completely blows now too because people around me are constantly getting married. It’s not that I don’t like weddings, I think they are what they are. I don’t like getting dressed up, I’m not going to get emotional, I’ll be polite and courteous but I’m going to take advantage of the open bar. I think it’s just the fact that people are relying on me to be somewhere at a certain place at a certain time that bothers me. This next phase is what I’m moving towards with my heels dragging in the dirt.

There really is no stopping time. I look back and think what I would have done differently but really what’s the point, it’s over and done with. I really don’t where I’m supposed to go anymore. My advice to everyone is, don’t take advice from anyone (except me of course). All people, especially professional, all have their own self interests in mind. If you don’t figure it out for yourself then you won’t be happy. And that’s the closest thing I can think of to the meaning of life. That and having little TC’s around.