Names That Fit A Profession

A name can say a lot about a person. It can describe your nationality, your location, your upbringing, and most notably your profession. A guy named Tex is probably growing up a bit differently than a guy named Ashley. Would Kobe still be Kobe if his name was Ted? Could Erik Everhard be anything other than a pornstar? When a name fits a profession though, you stand a better chance of achieving success. Here are a few professional names that I find particularly fitting.

Chris Moneymaker
Chris_Moneymaker
His last name is actually Moneymaker. His ancestors made coins from gold and silver and adopted the name. He became an accountant. Who wouldn’t want their accountant having a name like Moneymaker? His name makes you think of profits, cheesy or not. He is differentiating himself with a name this direct and wild. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he happened to win the WSOP in 2003 with a name like that.

Dr. Jeffry Life
The owner of cenegenics
Dr. Jeffry Life is 73 and his body looks like that of a 20 year old. His mission is to sell you a program that promotes a healthy “life”. Makes sense that this would be his last name. A hidden gem about him that I noticed while watching CNN just a few days ago was that Dr. Life is a user of HGH. No wonder this guy is jacked up like no other 70 year old. It’s hard for me to say much about his program knowing so little about it but at least his name gives off the perception of living. If I was 70 and some guy was telling me I could look like this and extend my life, I’d absolutely be interested. Cha-ching for Dr. Life and a great target market. Everyone knows old people have all the money. Everyone also knows Shaq made all his money in college too.

Tiger Woods
tiger_woods_young_little
Are we really surprised that a guy with the last name Woods is mighty at handling his wood? Makes perfect sense in every facet. The wood is a fundamental club in golf and Tiger just happens to be a master. I’m aware this one is a bit of a stretch but I still think it has to be included. You don’t get too many professionals whose last names jive with the sport equipment they are using. Bat? Ball?

Amy Winehouse
amy winehouse
Is it really a surprise she died of alcohol poisoning? If my last name was Beerroom I’m pretty sure I’d be dead by now as well. She lived up to the expectations of her last name. I’m sure if she’d been names Amy Sweetsound she’d still be around singing today.

Usain Bolt
Bolt of Lightning
He’s fast. He’s fast as lightning. He’s a bolt of lightning. Sometimes you have to save the best for last and he takes the cake. He’s the fastest man who has ever lived and his last name just happens to be something that’s electric fast. You think he’d be able to attain this title with a name like turtle? No offense to Lisa but I don’t think she had what it took for track. Usain Bolt, you hold the best name in sports.

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Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.

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Tom Stortz

Enjoying my last few responsibility free years left.

3 comments

  1. Brookes   •  

    This post reminds me of Laura’s disbelief during the shore that baseball players names were in fact real. Some ones that come to mind are Dexter Fowler, Shane Victorino and Ben Revere (fast – like Paul Revere…). There are tons of great names in baseball history – many of them nicknames though. Perhaps the best example from the sport has to be former Houston Astro Jeff Bagwell. One would assume he got to the “bag well”. Which he did…

    Jeff Bagwell (15 Season Averages – including only 38 games in 2005)
    .297 AVG / 30 HR / 33 2B / 155 H / 101 R / 102 RBI / 94 BB /.408 OPB

    4,175 career bases (less 2005) 2,314 hits

  2. Brookes   •  

    Bagwell’s name also described his defense. He posted a .993+ fielding percentage over 15 seasons as well.

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