Jeff and I were talking about what we were looking for in a female partner. Is it physical attraction? Do they need to share the same beliefs as you? Would you be willing to give an emo chick a chance if you believe in her way of life? I threw out the idea of it’s how you gel together and it benefits to share the same outlook on life. I don’t think I could ever spend a lot of time with someone who was heavily involved in politics. The one sided opinions and the care for the greater good would drive me crazy. You want someone who is on the same page as you. Someone who is moving in that same direction whatever that may be. I don’t think it should be a chore to stay together with somebody else. It should come naturally.

The thing is that it doesn’t come at all if you don’t try. The one thing that I could do to settle down right now is try. It’s an apathetic attitude. But at this very stage at my life, I don’t want to be interrupted with something that is going to detract me from my first goal in life. I still have a good amount of years and I would say that I have lived my life with very few major mess-ups. This can certainly be considered not living but that’s just the way it went. I just have an urge to make it financially before moving onto that next step. So when I write that all I have to do is try is that I think I could make the majority of situations “work” if I wanted to. I’m a human being and could adapt to any situation I chose to put myself into. I know that’s an odd way to look at a relationship but it could be the truth. No it’s not a “star-crossed lover” but how many people out there can wait for that as their life passes them by?

So Jess asked me what I am looking for in a girl and my brain had to think for a moment. I thought to myself that the easiest way to answer this question is honestly. I told her that “I”m looking for someone who is intelligent and I enjoy spending time with.” I also added that “it wouldn’t hurt if she were a buxom, tight-body, platinum blond.” “So you want the best of both worlds then?” The bottom line is that I have little game and that combines with high standards which make this entire question of how to live out these upper 20 years difficult. I just can’t do what other people can do. I can’t meet someone and decide to love them. Does that make any sense?