I just went back to my archives to relive my Octobers in 2009 and 2010. Nothing has changed. I’m still the same person as I was back then. What is the Joe Walsh quote from Life’s Been Good To Me? “Everybody’s so different but I haven’t changed.” Or what about Eddie Vedder? “I changed by not changing at all.” I think that this particular quality is both good and bad.
Good because you stay true to your value system. This isn’t exactly well put when your value system is drinking, gambling, and working but it’s at least what I like to do. This isn’t an all encompassing sentence either because I’ve been doing other things too but there is still a general theme throughout those posts. I believe it’s bad because you really aren’t doing anything but surviving, which for me should at least count for something. Time just keeps passing and then it eventually runs out. I just don’t know what I should be doing. People love getting married and raising a family but I’m not going to do that if I don’t want to do it. Once you get married and have a child your freedom is limited. This is a personal choice that every human being has to make and I’m not prepared to make it. So after reading this you should know that I have no answer other than figure it out for yourself. My goal is to make enough money to do anything I want to in life and not be hindered by financial decisions. Then I can feel more comfortable moving on. No one has a guide to this tiny existence.