EPL Non-Playoff System Is Disgusting

I’m going to flat out say it that the English Premier League non playoff structure is why Britain lost the Revolutionary war to America.

British Stereotypes 

  • Bad Teeth
  • Well mannered
  • Witty and intellectual (think the Wolf from Fargo)

It seems odd to say that the future determined the past but there is nothing more emblematic about the Brits than this pitiful idea that the season champs should be determined by a point structure. So you are aware of what I’m talking about, Chelsea has won the league by week 36 of 38 and these last 2 weeks are only played to see what 4 teams qualify for the Champions league and who gets relegated. They may have even clinched weeks ago, who the hell knows.

Don’t try to defend this is a good way to decide who the league champions are. I’m purposely not reading any reason why the league may do this because I don’t want to be convinced otherwise. This is a perfect example of the Brits being spineless. We here in America love the playoffs. Pressure. Do or die. The cream rises to the top. Underdogs have a chance to knock off favorites (Leicester City was a fluke). The playoff structure is so American that it defines us as a country and shows why we now have 320 million people and the British are stuck at 65 million.

As an American who is mildly entertained by the English Premier League, this concept is such a turn off that I will continue to be mildly entertained. Do you know why I know who Kelly Oubre Jr is? Because he got knocked the shit out of Kelly Olynyk in a game that was meaningful. Athletes make names for the themselves in big games. The EPL doesn’t even have a championship game!  This is horseshit. Soccer loving people please comment on why I’m wrong here.



By | 2017-05-13T20:48:25+00:00 May 13th, 2017|Sports|2 Comments


  1. bbritcher May 14, 2017 at 3:17 pm

    Every soccer league in the world (besides the MLS) uses this format. Unlike American sports, there are other elements to the “Table” than simply winning the league or not. Points accumulation (or lack of) produces battles for relegation – which given the revenue accrued by staying in the top league can change the direction of teams for years. There is also the Champions League spots. Champions League is the most prestigious tournament in club soccer. Each league is awarded X number of spots based on the leagues performance in past CL tournaments. Italy has 3, the EPL has 4, etc. Placing in the top 4 of the EPL gives you a spot – which again, is a huge financial boon and also makes your club more attractive to top players. So, there is a lot going on in the “Table” vs. simply wins and losses.

    While it is frustrating to often see the final few games of a season have no bearing on the league champion, it seems the fairest way to decide a champion. The best overall team over the course of the year always wins the league. One-game playoffs seem like a terrible way to “fairly” determine the best team.

    The format is not without its gripes though. Over a 2-year window, Spur have handily accumulated the most points in the league – but have not won it any given year.

  2. Queef May 17, 2017 at 11:31 am

    It’s one league where everyone plays each other twice. The best team will prevail. You can’t say that about any of our sports leagues because we have divisions and play certain teams more than others. The format is great. I liken it to college basketball (without conference tournaments) – there are multiple leagues and the winners/top teams of those leagues (more # of spots for better leagues (ACC)) move on to the champions league (NCAA tournament). It’s essentially one big round robin tournament, get over it.

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